I will dance, I will sing, to be mad for my King!

The David Crowder Band has a song called "Undignified" which is written about King David dancing before the Lord in celebration. The title of today's post references that.

I write this right now just after walking around the house shaking my head and repeatedly saying in awe, "That is amazing". Remember the post a few days ago about receiving an unasked for no-interest loan that was going to cover our next fee? Yesterday I was going through some paperwork we recently received. Included in this paperwork was an invoice for the next fee. The fee was smaller than we had expected...to the tune of about $2500 smaller. I emailed a question about the invoice to ask about the difference. I just got a response back stating that because of S.'s previous institutionalizations that the fee was reduced to help adjust for this. Ok, so that was amazing, and I kept stating as much. Then I remembered something else. I went to our bank website to check what we owed on our home equity line (only used for adoption fees from earlier in the process) to discover a new praise. Starting with the no-interest loan we were given, minus the fee we were just quoted, minus the amount on our home equity line, we were left over with $95.18 to the good!!!!!!!!!!!! Our next fee was covered, our loan with interest was also covered, and we are now free and clear to focus on our travel expenses. Those will be substantial, BUT, God knew we needed to travel to India to get this little girl when He sent us on the journey. I am certain that some how, in some way, those travel fees will also be taken care of.

I will boast in the Lord.

Who knew?

To say the least, I am surprised that NOT being Indian decreased dramatically our wait for a referral. Decreased it by 12-18 months to be precise. India has a very strict pattern for how people are able to adopt from their country. First priority goes to Resident Indians (those living in country). Next priority goes to Non-Resident Indians (those who are citizens but live outside of the country). Third, and least prioritized are those who are not Indian. That last group would be us. Pretty obvious, huh. Who ever heard of pasty-white Indians? Not me either. Anyway, all indications were that we were going to be waiting a very long time. To get a referral now was mind-boggling. Maren got a chance to talk to one of the workers in Portland and was able to ask about this. It turns out that we are the only non-Indian family on their wait list, and the only family willing to take a child as old as the one we are now pursuing (3 years, 2 months old). Thus, the massive jump up the wait list. Huh, who'da thunk it?

But let him who boasts

This is what the Lord says, "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom, let not the strong man boast of his strength, let not the rich man boast of his wisdom, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight" declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24

May I boast clearly about one thing. The Lord, He is faithful. The Lord, He is good. The Lord will not call someone to something to which He will not provide.

On Tuesday of this past week, Maren got a call that there was a referral ready and waiting for us if we were interested. After listening to some of the details about this little girl, she asked for more information. The next day, we received details of this wonderful little one. The following day, the day before Christmas, we received an 8 minute DVD of this sweet girl. By now, we had made the decision to move forward with accepting this referral. To do so would require a multi-thousand dollar committment. We didn't have that available to us. We weren't expecting to receive a referral for another 12-18 months. I can say with all honesty (and those who know me may be surprised) that I was not the least bit concerned about where this money was going to come from. God called us to it, He will provide. I was sure of it. Not arrogant sure, but peaceful sure. And yet, we didn't know where this money would come from.

Ok, are you following the path so far? Tuesday, we get the verbal referral. Wednesday, we get the paperwork documentation. Thursday, we get the DVD. We decide to adopt her, but have a boatload of cash to come up with. That brings us to Friday. Friday, we get an unsolicited offer for a no-interest loan for $1,000 more than we need to move forward with the adoption!

I am experiencing a mix of feelings about this. I think the predominant feeling is one of peaceful admiration for our God. Let me boast about Him. He is worthy to be praised. I am thankful for the number of people He uses to bless us and our daughter-in-waiting. I ask for return blessings for them.

Where paperwork meets people

So the past week or so, I have been meaning to add an update or two to our process but haven't gotten it done. Writing about paperwork is a bit dull, and let's face it, repetitive. Let's see, I think we are up to four sets of fingerprints now. Just yesterday I got our second copy of our marriage license. As a quick aside, may I say that if everything about the adoption paperwork process was as easy as obtaining our marriage license from Clermont County, why this would have all been over with months ago. From the moment I stepped into the Probate Court office, I walked out in less than three minutes with a new certified copy of our marriage license. Mind you, I did this without an appointment. It was marvelous. But I digress. Anyway, we have been working on the final touches of our dossier. Actually, we thought it was complete, but when I went to put things together, I realized there were several pieces that we were still missing. Very frustrating. So, the last several days we have been slogging once again through the gathering of more paperwork. It has been an aggravating process UNTIL...

Maren got a call last night from our social worker in Portland. After asking some routine questions about where we stood on our paperwork, he asked if she was ready to discuss a possible referral! Say what? We weren't expecting a referral for about a year at this point. She got off the phone with him and called me while I was on the way to a dinner meeting. We were both surprised to say the least. In the adoption world, it is generally unheard of that things happen faster than you expect. And things happening a year early, well, I have never heard anything like that. Today, we got information about this girl including estimated birth date, first name, and medical information. Due to Hague Convention rules, we are not permitted to share any of this information online. In a surprise Christmas gift, we are now very seriously considering accepting this referral for this little girl.

We are very excited about this yet calm. We are certain that the Lord will lead us and are seeking out His will. We are looking forward to tomorrow when we are supposed to receive a Fed Ex package that includes a DVD of her.

New sense of......something

It is interesting, you know, this thing we know as the Holy Spirit. For those who are not Christ-followers, the whole thing must sound like a pretty crazy (I was going to us the word "cockamamie" but I didn't know how to spell it) idea. I mean really. Think about it. A Christ-follower describes that "the Spirit led them" or some such unusual statement. What is that supposed to mean anyway? However, if you are a Christ-follower, having the Spirit lead you is a pretty normal kind of thought. But then, you run into a conundrum of sorts. Is what you are feeling from the Holy Spirit, your own personal desire masking as something spiritual, or simply the extra-spicy chili? It makes it challenging to say the least. So you know what is coming next, right? Sure, you do.

This past week, I had a strange sense of need to complete our paperwork. It can't exactly be described as "urgency" though in some sense that describes it. I guess I think of urgency as being similar to emergency. The feeling was not a "I have to get this done now, or there will be really bad consequences" kind of feeling. It was more of a "Greg, it is time to get this done because I am doing a new thing in this process, and you need to be prepared" kind of feeling. Make sense? Well, it does to me anyway. And, thankfully to my wife as well.

That being said, we spent the last few days buckling down and working to complete our dossier. We are are nearly there. We have recommendation letters to obtain (a story in itself) and two forms from our home study agency. All of those things are on the way. We have also gotten needed info and notarization from our bank.

Who knows? Maybe the sense last week meant something. Maybe not. Either way, we continue down this road on which we have been led. It feels good to be nearing the end of the paperwork process.

Something went right!!

You know, it is pretty easy to get cynical during this whole process as one thing doesn't work smoothly followed by another one that is full of potholes. We have finally had something go just the way it was supposed to.

We went on Monday of this week to the Butler County Sheriff's office to try once again to get our background checks completed. As we have already experienced a lot of hassle in this area, we were expecting more of the same. I will say that going into, however, I did have a bit of hope. Honestly, our dealings with the Butler County Sheriff for the last adoption were quite good. We even bumped into the big dog himself, Sheriff Rick Jones. How can you not like a guy that brings back the old chain gang and makes them walk five-wide chained at the ankles picking up tracks in the median of state routes!! I love it. I saw them the very first day they were out. As I drove up near them, they had road signs out saying "Caution. Chain gang ahead". I wasn't sure what it meant at first since real chain gangs had gone away a long time ago, but hey ho, there they were in their striped pants and everything!! Our sheriff rocks.

Anyway, I digress. We went in, and unlike other locales, they seemed to grasp pretty quickly what we needed. They stated that it wouldn't be a problem and we just needed to fill out a short information form. They would be able to have the results the next day for us. This was great news. AND, it didn't cost anything...Bonus!! But the best was yet to come. After we completed our paperwork, she called us back over and said that she had located a notary and they would be able to take care of it for us right then and there so we would not need to come back. Whoo Hoo!! Inside of 10 minutes, ol' Sheriff Jones office accomplished what several other agencies couldn't do. So, now we are done with that portion of the process. We continue on.


Oh yeah, our background checks came back negative. I guess Maren doesn't have any explaining to do afterall!!

Retina scans might be more appealing

Have I mentioned the fact that I REALLY don't like dealing with fingerprints? I mean, seriously. How obnoxious can these things honestly be? Apparently, I haven't yet found out the depths to which fingerprinting can freeze my shorts. So the latest is this: Two days ago, I had some time in the middle of the day and used it to go to the Clermont County Sheriff's office to get my state and federal fingerprinting done. I did have a bit of a complicated request. I needed a set to go to our homestudy agency. I needed a set to go to the agency for whom I am about to start doing homestudies. Finally, I needed a letter to be notarized, signed by two witnesses, OR sealed with the police seal on department letterhead to be given to me for our international dossier. Not exactly straightforward, I know. But explainable. So I explained it. The first two requests were no problem, but the third was impossible. I will get to that explanation in a minute, because first I have to note that I had to leave there after waiting in line and talking to the nice people so that I could go get exact cash...no checks accepted. Ok, so I am back at the sheriff's department now. I talk to my fourth person about what I needed to do. By the way, I must add that all four people were genuinely very nice and patient. Anyway, the fourth person was able to explain some of what they could not process my request for a written letter. She told me I would need to go to my local department to get the document. So, says I...If I am here getting a fingerprint check on the state and the federal level, why wouldn't those capture any crime I might commit in my home county? All she could really tell me is that there might be things in their handwritten files that are not entered into any computer system. I pointed out that the sample document I had listed the "Texas Department of Corrections" as the sample department that it came from. I noted that Texas was a state and that I was pretty sure my agency is just trying to determine that I have not committed any crimes anywhere in the state (or nation for that matter). I also pointed out that Maren was able to go to a different county (Warren County) and get the same document I was requesting even though she didn't live in that county. No dice. They were unwilling to produce such a thing. So now I get to go to my THIRD locale to get yet more fingerprints taken. Oh yeah. For all of you keeping score, I still have to go at least one more time past that to the federal building in downtown Cincinnati to get more federal fingerprinting done. Apparently there are federal fingerprints and then there are federal fingerprints. Makes sense to me. Perhaps what I really need to do is to go to one location per digit. Does anyone have a stamp pad at their house. I can get some from you too!

Disappointing, but meaningless

We got word back from our adoption agency thay they are content with the way our former homestudy agency conducted themselves. This is disappointing and somewhat confusing, but ultimately, it doesn't mean anything for us. From what I can tell from the email we received back, this former agency misconstrued some of their actions and the events. For example, they apparently said there was no signed contract (wrong) and an imcomplete application (wrong again). I will send one final email stating that I disagree with the former agency's characterization of things and request again that Holt consider partnering with another agency in Southwest Ohio to give adoptive parents more than one option to consider. I will also state that I accept the results and appreciate their looking into it. Really, how much can Holt do with a Dayton agency while being located in Eugene, Oregon? I am impressed with the speed with which they addressed the complaint (Holt, that is).

The latest paperwork update is that Maren has obtained her local and federal fingerprinting. I have to do mine still. We also both got our physicals last Thursday (both alive, well, and kicking).

More government fun

We are in the process of readopting Elijah in the United States. He has always been officially and legally ours, but by readopting him here, he will be able to have a United States birth certificate created for him. Then in the future, getting a new original will be a piece of cake compared to trying to track down his original in China.

Maren diligently completed a 21 page form last night so that we could take it to the Probate Court today to get our hearing scheduled. We were almost turned away because an address area was left blank. Maren offered to write it in, but was denied because it needed to be typed. Yep. A trip to another city was almost wasted because they were not going to let her handwrite in an address. It had to be typed. Even now, I am not quite sure I understand why the woman relented and set us up for a pre-court hearing. And, she didn't even have the address added at all. If government were a private business, it would have gone under long ago. But the good news is that government just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and lately it is getting bigger by leaps and bounds. What a good good thing for our country.

Fingerprints: The Dark Stain

There is much about the adoption process that is a pain. At least the second time through, much of the process makes more sense. We can see better how some things go together. And yet, much of the process only reveals the ineffeciency, idiocy, and ridiculousness of the government. And doggone it, a similar issue really has my craw again. Fingerprints. Yeah, fingerprints. Those simple things on your hands that you forever hear are unique to you. You can watch 5 shows per night in which some bad guy is captured as the result of his fingerprints being left somewhere incriminating. And yet, for some reason if you are going to adopt a child, the dumb things EXPIRE in 18 months. Yep, you got it. Some how, if you need them for an adoption, after 18 months...POOF, they just aren't any good anymore. Oh yeah, and when they do expire, you have to pay a bunch more money to get them done again. Gee, can you say "racket"?

So that was our experience last time. They expired so we had to get them again. This time, our fingerprints are causing a bit of a different issue. I took some time off work today and Maren passed on Bible study so that we could go get our FBI fingerprints and our BCII fingerprints. Amazingly, since we did this the last time, it now appears that you can get them in the same spot whereas before, we had to go to two different locations to get our fingerprints taken twice. Nevermind the fact that they take the prints digitally now rather than the old ink format. It would be waaaaaaaay to easy to simply email the things to the other organization like the rest of the world does. But, alas, it seemed as if things became more efficient. Bravo government. So we get to the Clerk of Courts in Butler County who proceeds to tell us that they can only send the fingerprints to one location. We needed them to go to three. They repeatedly assured me that this was not possible. For $57, they could only send them to one location. I then asked if they could just give them to us. No way could that happen. We are not permitted to have our own fingerprints apparently. We can carry the original but not a copy. Ok, got it. Anyway, after going round and round with the lady explaining why we needed three copies, she kept insisting that it was not possible. I was flabbergasted. For real? How hard is it to hit "print" three times and address 3 envelopes. She finally called over a supervisor (not because I was belligerent...I wasn't but because she didn't understand). The supervisor assured us that it was in fact possible to send them to three places. It would just cost us $57 EACH TIME!!!!!! Arrrrrrggggghhh.

Finally though, she gave us a bit of good news. She told us that the sheriff's office does them for about $30 cheaper. Ok great, can you direct us there? Well, I can she says but they only do fingerprints Monday-Thursday from 8am-3pm. And, of course, today is Friday. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE ONLY DOES FINGERPRINTS DURING THAT TIME FRAME???? If I ever commit a crime, I have made a mental note that I am only going to do it at night when they can't fingerprint me. Heck, I can keep good criminal hours. Perhaps I will commit the crime at 4pm and then get away free since they can't fingerprint me. I wondered out loud if I pulled into the sheriff's parking lot and kicked one of the patrol cars if while they were fingerprinting me if I could simply ask them to forward it onto our needed addresses. I was told that would probably hurt our chances to adopt.

So now we wait again until we can arrange time during ridiculous hours. Seriously though. Think about that. We CAN'T get fingerprinted at the sheriff's office except during normal working hours. In other words, if you are a contributing member of society on day shift, you have to take personal time from work to get fingerprinted. But, if you are a criminal, you can get fingerprinted at any time. Heck, they will probably even come to your home to accomodate you. Good grief.

Starting Over Again

We did the homestudy thing once for Elijah. Then, we started over on a new homestudy for our next child only to have to fire that agency. Now, we get to start over again. We received our homestudy packet from our new agency today. Maren has already gotten a leaping start on it. Pretty impressive actually. Several of our friends who have adopted have husbands who say something like, "My wife was amazing. She did everything and did it quickly." I must admit that the selfish side of me would love to be able to say that, but honestly, I do not want her to have to complete all of the work. I am interested in getting it done as quickly as possible, but my reasons are perhaps a bit different than many adopting folks. I am interested in bringing our daughter home, and I know the paperwork is part of the process to accomplish that, but basically, I can't stand it all. It is just so much, and I get tired of it.

Goal realized

This is pretty cool. It won't be very cool to anyone but me, but in 13 hours, I will be officially hired on as an adoption assessor with All God's Children. For those who remember, this is the same organization that our family used to expand itself in bringing home Elijah. I cannot speak highly enough about this adoption agency. They were first rate in every single thing they did. It was after our adoption was completed and I was wishing that I could use my social work skills to benefit others on a ministry basis that God placed in my head to become an adoption assessor myself. What better way to use my skills than to assist others in bringing home their own children from the community, state, country, and around the globe? I set out to earn my assessor certification and took vacation time from work to complete much of the necessary coursework. I did this specifically with the goal of being hired on by All God's Children. I never asked the organization about doing this and was never given any promises that I would be hired on. In fact, after earning my certification, I first approached All God's Children and was told there wasn't enough work and it likely wouldn't work out anyway. While I was disappointed, I never doubted that there was another reason for me earning my certification. The call felt too certain.

Through an unusual set of events, I was hired on with A Center for Homestudies and Placement Services in May 2008 for my first contract work as an assessor. I remain very very grateful to Rima (director) for bringing me on and coaching me through my first homestudies. I continue to contract with this organization and also think very highly of her and her dedication and professionalism towards those who seek her services.

Tomorrow, however, barring any unforseen circumstances, a specific dream of mine will be realized. The Ohio director of All God's Children (different from the director I talked to over a year ago) has indicated she intends to hire me on as a contractor. That is cool.

Sometimes you get what you pay for

For a guy who can't spend $20 without searching and researching over and over to find out if I can buy the same thing elsewhere for $19.27, the concept of voluntarily paying a $1000 or more for an agency to do the same thing that another agency can do goes against nearly every fiber of my body. The fibers that it doesn't go against, however, are honesty and integrity. I was always taught that those things were supremely important, and I have come to believe that intensely. One example of this is that we purposely searched for a name for Justin that meant "integrity" when he was born. Shy of naming him some obscure name that would have gotten him beat up regularly, we agreed on "Justin" meaning "truth and righteousness". So, we have decided to retract our application to our original homestudy agency. They simply did not pass the "smell test" as it were. In fact, they simply stunk from the very first phone call. I don't tend to complain about things too much to others who do things for me. Sure, I might complain to Maren (especially about 40 degree temperature drops in less than 16 hours....good grief), but generally I keep most complaints to myself. I am in this business, however. I complete homestudies. I know what their requirements are, and I have a fair understanding of good business practices. Holt International suggested we write a letter of complaint. I did. I probably went overboard. It was nine pages, single-spaced. Hmm. That might be overkill. But, I wanted to be detailed so I included all of our email communications to demostrate the extent that we went in trying to make this work. So, now we are trying to connect with another agency. We will keep you posted.

At what price ethics?

Greg here.
I remember when I served on the board for American Heritage Girls when some dialogue was occuring on the spirtiual differences between AHG and Girls Scouts of America. Part of the dialogue revolved around the greater cost to each family to have a girl in American Heritage Girls versus having her in Girl Scouts and that some families had their girls join Girl Scouts because of this. The Girl Scouts have seriously left its original roots and has become heavily feminist (and all the negatives that go with that designation) and very much openly stands against Christianity and the values contained within that belief system. The executive director made a comment at the time that she is always amazed when people will sell their beliefs for so little a cost. In other words, people will choose a organization to save a few bucks even when they know that organization stands against their stated beliefs. That has always stuck with me. I found her statment to be simple yet very powerful. In fact, it has haunted me since then wondering for what exactly would I sell my beliefs. It has been pretty scary a few times. I have found temptation in selling my beliefs for mere pennies. Forget millions. While I can't recall a time when I actually sold my beliefs, I do know that there have been times when I have had to actively campaign against myself from doing so. Perhaps the most recent was when I discovered that we had failed to report $750 on last year's income tax. Almost all of that money was paid to me in cash over the course of the year so there is no paper trail for it. It was very tempting to simply let it go. Certainly the IRS would never have found out about it. They couldn't have. I even thought about simply overreporting my income by $750 this year to "make up for it". In the end, I completed an amended return and mailed in the extra $106 we owed the IRS. All the while, I knew that our likelyhood for audit or some other problem was exponentially increased. Well, probably not exponentially, but still.

OK, so what in the world does all this have to do with our adoption. We have sent in and paid for an application to a particular homestudy agency. After we and they agreed on costs, after we sent in the application, after we paid the application fee, and after they verified receipt of the application, they came back and told us they were adding new fees for us that would total about $90 extra dollars per visit beyond what we had originally agreed. After complaining about this, they agreed to reduce it to an extra $65 per visit beyond our original agreement. I am still fired up about this, and we have been dealing with it for several weeks.

So the question is this. Do we continue with this agency? In some ways, the easy answer is "Absolutely not". This is not such an easy answer however, because to change to a different agency would likely cost an extra $1000 by the time everything is said and done. So, do we go with an agency whose integrity is now seriously in question to save a thousand bucks. Or, do we switch agencies knowing that the cost to us would be substantial?

Any thoughts are most welcome.

Studying our home

We have barely begun the next step in our process. We have scheduled our first meeting with our homestudy agency. It is kind of strange, however. For the first meeting, they want us to come to their offices in Dayton (without the kids). I must say, I do homestudies as a side job, and it is confusing to me why we would be going to somebody's office to do a HOMEstudy.

We get a lot of questions or statments that compare our first adoption process to this one. There are definitely similarities but differences as well. We are using a different adoption agency and a different homestudy agency. We are approaching this with some mild trepidation because we had such a good experience last time, especially with our former adoption agency. Here is a major difference. The last time, during the paperwork process, we were given a call EVERY MONDAY by our adoption worker. This current agency only calls once per quarter. That is strange to me. Thankfully, the experience we gained from the first process is already guiding us through this one.

Application tidbits

While earlier this month we completed an online application, there was some additional paperwork to complete (there's ALWAYS additional paperwork to complete). We were able to get that completed and sent back out to Portland. It will hopefully arrive there in tomorrow's mail. From this point, we will wait to receive a serious packet of information to complete (see, I told you). We have talked about setting artificial deadlines for ourselves in order to help facilitate the completion of paperwork. Going back to when we first met in college, we have done most paperwork-related things at the last minute. Because there is no official deadline for any of this to be completed, we must generate our own, or next year at this time we might be typing about the paperwork we still have to complete.

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!

I am tired and don't feel good, but I felt it was important to get something up here on the day that we have made our official decision. Today as of about 4:30pm EST, we submitted our application to Holt International to adopt a child from the country of India. As a family, we are excited but know that there is a very long road ahead for us. Because of India's adoption rules, this process in many ways will be more complicated than our adoption from China. India gives preference to Indians living within the country first, then to non-resident Indians living in other countries, and finally the least preference to non-Indians. Whereas China discourages (for the most part) in-country adoptions, India very much encourages them. By definition, we can only qualify for a special needs and/or older child. We have had two people from Holt tell us that we should expect a child at least 3-4. It remains to be seen how this will all play out. That is good by us!

Will you follow me?

Dear friends and family,
On the same day that our family made a verbal commitment to adopt our next child from India, the country has come under horrible terrorist attacks. If you are following the news, you have seen the scary, despicable acts committed by radical Hindus and targeted against Westerners. We must pray for this country of India. Though it seems so far away, the reason Westerners are being targeted is that they are most likely to be Christian. Our brothers and sisters are falling for no reason other than they proclaim Christ. This is real persecution.

This whole thing has certainly given me pause. I am convinced that God is directing our path to this country. I am also convinced that we have more to do in India that simply pick up a child. It is EASY to sit here in my warm, comfortable bed late at night and tell God I will go where he sends me. Will I follow?

Suddenly, they're everywhere

Greg typing:
Maren and I are getting close to making a decision on where we will be adopting. Trying to discern the Lord's will at times can be tricky...at least for me. I sometimes have trouble figuring out if what I am "seeing, hearing, and feeling" is from the Lord (something like, "He who has ears let him hear.") or if it is more like I have a thought, desire, whatever, and then see/hear/feel stuff to back up my own created idea. That is sort of where we are right now.

Several days ago, while praying in the car going to work, I was struck by the thought of adopting from India. I don't think I have any preconceived wishes/desires about adopting from India, so the thought was a bit unusual. When I came home and talked to Maren about it, she was definitely open to the idea. As we have begun to explore it more, the idea seems to be gaining ground. One of the ways I have begun to try and test this thought (is it from God or from me) is to try to seriously consider adopting from other places...especially the United States (probably more about this in a future post). Honestly, those other ideas do not seem to be right within my spirit. I don't mean that I am considering other places to be defiant to God, but rather to try and sense with the Spirit what I should know. It is not right to say that I am repelled by the other thoughts, but there is a curious (or not so curious) feeling of emptiness with those thoughts. The only way I can think to describe it is in a word picture. When I try to think about adopting from places other than India, I have this mental picture of standing all alone in a room with one window but the door open behind me. When I think of adopting from India, my mind is filled with architecture, people, sounds, sights, and images of connecting with believers in that far away land. I must confess that at this time I am reading a book called God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew so it is entirely possible I am being swayed by that (or is that why Brian Mease handed me the book when I asked him for some light, free-reading material????!!)

So, what is the point. The point is this...You know how after you get pregnant for the first time (Ok, yeah well not speaking from personal experience in the truest sense of the word) you look around and suddenly people are pregnant everywhere and everyone seems to be talking about being pregnant? That is a little like what is going on now. I am now seeing Indian people all over the place. The news suddenly seems filled with stories from India. I don't think I am allowing this to affect my thinking on the whole thing, but it has been an interesting observation. Even tonight as I was reading the Sunday paper, several pages in was a story with the byline of New Delhi which is where we would fly into most likely.

Once we make an official decision (and in my mind, making an official decision includes my signature to some sort of contract of sorts), we will post the details. That being said, we are eager to go where we are sent whether even more half-way around the world than China or 20 minutes away to our county Children's Services.

Marvin K. Mooney

Greg here:
One of my favorite children's books that was read to me many times was "Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now". The opening of the book goes like this: The time has come. The time is now. Just go, GO! The book goes on from there to describe how some unseen Dr. Suess character orders another character to go. The book never says exactly where Marvin is supposed to go, but presumably he figures it out at some point in the story. We can assume this because the book finishes up with: I said GO and GO I meant. The time had come, SO...Marvin WENT.

Ok, lest you think I am drawing my marching orders from a children's book, rest assured that I am listening to someone so much more intelligent. However, there is much about this story that rings true for our family at this point in our lives.

Most of you know that we have already adopted a little boy to add to our two natural children. This blog was originally started to chronicle that story. Well, while that story is many chapters from being completed, a sequel has been started. Just a few weeks ago, within about 24 hours, Maren and I both suddenly became certain that God was again calling us to adopt and that now was the time to begin moving forward. So, like Marvin in the story, we are going. Also similar to the story, we don't yet have a concise idea of where we are going, but we are confident we will receive our particular marching orders soon. When the end of our story is written and someone looks back and learns that we were told to "GO", I also want the end of our story to read, "So, they went".

The Journey Home

We left Guangzhou in a hurry last Friday afternoon. We went to the swearing in ceremony at the US Consulate expecting a quick deal, only to learn that in honor of National Adoption Day, they were doing an extra special ceremony for us. Oh, joy. They had the Consulate General, all the adoption processing workers, and tons more people present in honor of the occasion. They gave a great long political speech, acknowleged all the agencies present, swore us in, then wanted photos with everyone. We left before the photos since we had a bus to catch.

Our bus from the hotel had been in an accident and was unable to retrieve us. This greatly complicated matters. It was now rush hour traffic, so the taxi we had called had slow going. We were starting to get concerned because we still had to get back to the hotel, get our bags from the room we had left them in, catch another taxi, then get to the hotel the shuttle bus would leave from. We were accompanied by Qin Lei to the shuttle bus. When we arrived, we threw our stuff onto the bus, sat down, and it started moving. Whew! That was close!

We arrived in Hong Kong six hours later. It was supposed to be a three hour trip, but there was a traffic jam from Guangzhou to Hong Kong. Misery. We had to pass through immigration to get into Hong Kong, dragging our four bags and child with us. We were dropped off in the middle of Kowloon, near another branch of the Metropark Hotel. We were at least near something we recognized. The staff there was helpful in helping us find our hotel on a map so we could tell the cab driver where to go. We flagged down a cab and went to the next hotel.

In the lobby of the hotel, we checked in and were given our room key (an actual key) and the remote to the air conditioner. When he saw all of our bags, he commented that our bags would not fit into our room, so he would upgrade us to the super room for free. Hmmm. There were only four bags. We had to go outside to the next lobby to get to the elevator. One was out of service with electrical difficulties. As the other elevator descended, every other floor or so, the display would read, "Out of Service." Greg told me to just not look at it. We rode the elevator to the 11th floor, found our room, and discovered that my parents' bathroom is bigger than the super. There were 2 single rock hard beds in there, a night stand, a tv, a small fridge, and a scary bathroom. It was actually clean, but still didn't look right. At this point it was 11:30 pm, we hadn't eaten any dinner, and wanted to be out of the hotel by 6:30 am to get to the airport on time without stress. So we just went to bed. Greg got very little sleep.

The alarm went off at 6 am. We got dressed, packed up, and went down to catch a taxi to the Airport Express train station in Kowloon. We had hoped to find a McDonald's on the way for breakfast, but the one we saw was inaccessible from the road we were on. We arrived at the train station and discovered that there was a United counter there that allowed us to check our bags all the way through to O'Hare. What a relief. We caught the train (they came every ten minutes) and relaxed on the way to the airport. We checked in at the airport and then found some breakfast. Food was a very good thing at that point.

Elijah had broken out in a rash a few days earlier. We had tried a dose of Benadryl but had not seen much change. We did not have infant Benadryl with us, which I would definitely take the next time! We stopped in the pharmacy at the airport and talked with the pharmacist. He sold us a bottle of Polaramine, which is an antihistamine. He cautioned us that it might make him drowsy, but that it should help with the rash. I'm not sure it did much with the rash, but what a bonus that it made him drowsy!

He slept for half of the trip to Tokyo. We had bulkhead seats, which allowed room for him to play. They gave us a bassinet for him to sleep in safely on the floor which he was too big for. He tried to turn over, found himself stuck, and freaked out. We got him resettled, but he was done sleeping there.

We had plenty of time to catch the plane from Tokyo to O'Hare. We did not have the bulkhead seats we were hoping for, but ended up next to the only open seat on the plane. What a blessing. He slept for most of the trip. He only fussed for maybe 5 minutes of the entire 11 hours on the plane and was quickly settled.

Once in Chicago, we had to collect our bags, get through customs, then get Elijah through immigration. That took a while, but he is now a US Citizen. We had had to recheck our bags, then get from the International Gate to Gate 1 at the exact other end of the airport. We got to our flight, sat down, they closed the doors, and we left. Whew! We barely made that flight! It was only 50 minutes from Chicago to Columbus, and we were so excited knowing that Kailey and Justin were waiting for us at the other end.

Arriving in Columbus, Kailey and Justin met us outside security with my parents. We ate at the Wendy's there, then headed for home. As anticipated, Elijah was not impressed with the car seat. He had never been in one before and really objected to being restrained. The first 10 minutes of the trip were really noisy. We turned on some music, and he settled right down.

That was the hardest leg of the trip. Greg and I were both exhausted since we had had so little sleep in the previous 48 hours. Greg drove halfway home, then I took over. We got home safely by the grace of God at 9 pm. Thank you for all your prayers for a safe journey. We all slept well that night.

We made it!

Hi all,
Just a quick note to let all of you know that we are home safely. We will still be adding a few things to the blog to wrap up our detailing of the trip. Those will happen over the next few days and into next week. Thank you all for your prayers and support. They were invaluable.

Flying Home

First, let me say that this post is not from Greg or Maren but from Amy Haney. Several people have asked me when Greg, Maren, and Elijah will be flying home, so here is your answer, based on the flights they posted. I went to United.com and checked the lengths of their flights to convert all the times into Eastern Standard Time in parentheses. I have no way of confirming that they make it onto their flights, but you can follow their flight status at United.com. Please keep praying for their safe and timely return!

United Airlines 890 Nov 18 10:05 am HKG (Friday, 9:05 pm EST) to 2:50 pm NRT (Saturday, 12:50 am EST)

United Airlines 882 Nov 18 5:55 pm NRT (Saturday, 3:55 am EST) to 2:14 pm ORD (3:14 pm EST)

United Airlines 1123 Nov 18 4:10 pm (5:10 pm EST) ORD to 6:24 pm CMH

HKG=Hong Kong
NRT=Tokyo
ORD=Chicago (O'Hare)
CMH=Columbus

Changes and Growth

So you have heard about our lovely dining experience, the rest of today was pleasant. We played down at the playground some more. It is going to be so hard to go home to cold weather from here. Not that that is enough motivation for me to consider staying for even a moment, no way! I am so looking forward to being home! I am glad, however, that Elijah has a playset coming for inside the house. Thanks, friends for the gift!

Elijah continues to grow more comfortable, more animated, more relaxed. I have heard from parents with kids who are in school that they frequently hear from the teacher that they are model students who never talk back, pleasant and cooperative. This sometimes surprises the parents. It may be that their extremely talkative child at home is reported to be silent in school. I wonder if it does not come from the level of order and discipline needed to keep chaos from reigning with a large group of children. Many of the children have to hold themselves in check to keep from getting into trouble. Some of these children also keep to themselves because of their personality; they are just too shy in a public setting to really shine. I don't think the children in orphanages ever really get to relax and be themselves. I frequently hear that children adopted from orphanages do not act at all like the description they got from the orphanage. The orphanage reports they are shy and quiet, but the parents get to know a vivacious, outgoing child. I wonder if there isn’t just a freedom that is good for children that comes from being within the safety, the protection, the love of a family that allows them to completely relax and be who they were created to be. Now I am not condemning orphanages. In fact, I wonder if they aren’t actually preferable to the developmental needs of children rather than our country’s foster care system that is so disruptive and destructive to the development of attachment and bonding with multiple placements, but that is another essay for another day.

It has been interesting to observe some of Elijah’s behaviors that were obviously trained into him by the orphanage. It has also been fun to watch him learn new behaviors that demonstrate freedom. When he first came to us, he was completely passive at mealtimes. He would let me spoon things into his mouth but refused to feed himself. It was like he did not know how. I would give him his sippy cup, and he would hand it back, open his mouth, and wait for me to help him drink. He had been taught to be passive to make it easier for them. Yesterday he fed himself his entire breakfast (liquid yogurt through a straw, a sliced banana, a boiled egg, and a whole lot of strawberry covered Cheerios.) When we change his diaper, he was very passive; now he rolls and giggles and plays. Maybe passive in that case was better. After he is changed, he just lays there. He doesn’t get up to carry on. I’m not sure what that was all about, but I ‘m sure he was taught to stay where he was placed. We just keep inviting him to go on. We want him to learn to live within the freedom we can afford.

If you really think about it, we do the same thing with God. He sets limits for us, because within those limits is freedom. There is safety if we stay within the behavioral boundaries God has set for us. But how often does God give us freedom and invite us to do something, but we just sit there and don’t move? How often do we remain passive waiting for God to do it for us, when he is inviting us to participate and carry on. There is great joy to be found within the freedom given to us by God.

Another thing that has been very interesting to watch has been how Greg has responded to being Elijah’s rock of safety during this transition. It has been hard for me, since as many of you know, I absolutely love little ones and generally am pretty good with caring for them and being able to comfort them. Working in the toddler room Sunday mornings gives me a lot of opportunities to be with this age group and help settle a whole lot of upset toddlers going through a difficult transition. To finally get the child I have been praying for for a decade, only to have him want nothing to do with me was hard. I kept reminding myself that the connection would come. We will have him for the rest of his life and Daddy was going back to work. He would learn to trust me soon. That is already happening. Our general experience and learning on toddler development is that small children need to learn to trust and love before they can do much else. Toddlers stick with their safety zone (a parent), especially in unfamiliar settings. The secure ones will explore their environment, then return to contact with their safety zone for a recharge before going back out again. With our other two children, I was the primary safety zone. With Kailey, I was the only safety zone. That is a role I am comfortable in. Greg, not so much. It is a very demanding roll that requires immense patience and a level of tolerance of goo.

What we did to help Elijah start to learn to trust me too was to have me be his source of food. The theory was, if he sees me as his source of food, he will begin to see me as his source of other things as well. We let him stay with his rock as needed. When we pushed his safety zone and insisted someone else hold him, we paid for it. We have learned just to let him feel safe and move out on his own. At the playground yesterday, there were a whole lot of people there. Elijah gripped tightly on to Greg and was not happy to be set down. He did not feel safe there yet. We let him remain in Greg’s arms until he told us he wanted to get down. Then he would play and return to Greg, and then play some more and return to Greg. It was classic. Last night at dinner, he put his arms up to me to pick up…from Greg’s lap. We looked at the light show together. It will be interesting to see how this relationship continues to develop over the next 48 hours as we head home, and then transition to his new home.

Greg and goo is a funny thing. Moms of toddlers tend to be dotted with various toddler donated decorations. Greg is the one who is the recipient of this decoration right now. We have these “Nutritional Biscuits” that Elijah likes to snack on. I’m not really sure what they are, but they look like a sugar cookie and are very fortified with various vitamins. I do not think they have much sugar in them, but then, my Chinese isn’t very good either. Kailey liked them; Justin gave it back to me after one bite. Greg has now said he will not touch Elijah while eating one any more since they create such a lovely beige goo. Elijah has had a runny nose since we got him, so that has to be dealt with. Greg has changed most of the diapers and done most of the potty trips. You should have seen the look on his face when I mentioned cloth diapers at home to facilitate the potty training! I think Greg has grown some in dealing with way more drool, runny noses, and mushy food than he ever has before! He still hates it, though.

It has been a time of growth and a shifting of roles for all of us. We have had to rely on God as we take on new jobs. Greg asked me to remind him of the Fruits of the Spirit at times when he is dealing with Elijah (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.) Good things for all of us to remember and exhibit as we parent. So now we tell each other to get Fruity.

Well, I need to wake the guys up. We need to eat breakfast and pack. We have to check out of the hotel by noon, leave for the consulate at 2:15, and prepare to leave for home. We were planning to take the train, but all the tickets were gone by the time we tried to buy them. It worked out though (doesn’t it always when God is involved?) We are able to take a shuttle van that will drop us off near our hotel. The trip takes an hour longer but leaves an hour sooner and is half the price of the train. We should get to Hong Kong by 10 pm tonight. We will then sleep in a hotel in Kowloon. Tomorrow morning, we will take the Airport Express metro train to the airport, then fly home. Oh, I cannot wait!

I don’t know that we will have anymore computer access until we reach home, so pray for safe travel for us, please! I’ll update when we are stateside Saturday evening.

Funny, but I don't feel more clever

Greg> Maybe I need to sleep on it. Maybe I need a little more. Whatever the problem, the only thing I feel is a bit of upset stomach. We went out to dinner tonight with our shopowner friends. It was a VERY nice time. It was the owner, his wife, their 2 year old daughter, and his sister. The brother and sister came into existence before the current laws against multiple children. This family is just a wonderful family. My wife and I will truly miss them when we leave. While we are looking forward to going home, we are not looking forward to saying "goodbye" to them tomorrow. Sitting outside on the sidewalk outside of their shop many nights reminded me of older America where people used to sit on their front porches and interact with their neighbors. Now, we don't even have front porches. Such a shame. By now, some of you are saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get on with it already. I know there is something juicier in here than all this schmaltz." Well, I wouldn't say "juicier", but it was really not what I expected. So, as we are deciding what we are going to order, Maren and the other ladies went to show the river to the kids. He leaned over to me and suggested a few soup orders. The lighting was very bad as we were outside and it was mostly dark. I looked at the small print on the soup card, looked even more closely at what he was pointing at, stopped breathing momentarily, and I am also pretty certain my heart stopped beating. I mopped the cold sweat off of my forehead and worked like mad to keep my right leg from rapidly bouncing up and down involuntarily. You see, I am a firm believer that pigs would really prefer to keep their brains. What do I need with them? I have my own brains. OK, OK, OK. Stop it. Just stop it right there. That is mean. Very mean. I am halfway around the world and you are making jokes about me having my own brains. Kick a guy while he's down why don't you?! Anyway, my friend said that an old Chinese saying is that eating pig brains makes a person more clever. And I am thinking, the reason it is an old Chinese saying is that somewhere along the line they learned it was a joke played on them by their big brothers. This is very similar to my big brother hiding my nice afternoon snack of plum and saying that mom told him my afternoon snack was a banana and that I had to eat it. That also was very mean. It took me something like and hour and half to put that 'naner down. (I forgive you big bro, but I can still feel that nasty, squishy thing in my mouth!!!). So anyway...he looks at me with poorly veiled humor in his eyes. And to my total amazement, I heard my mouth say, "OK". If I had been outside of my body looking at me, I would have stared at myself with my mouth wide open.

He then said that only he and I would get it and that the wives and sister would get a different soup. He pointed to another. I looked at it and thought, “No problem my wife likes duck. She will eat…” Oh man. He can’t be serious. He is serious. That isn’t duck soup. It is duck KIDNEY soup. Oh wow! Oh, that will never do. But I can’t tell him “No.” That would be rude, and he did say they would like to take us out to dinner and we did agree to go. I did what any self-respecting, yet polite husband would do. I told him not to tell her what kind of soup it was! He laughed heartily.

So anyway, our soup was delivered. It had a lid over it. I opened it up. It looked really good actually. That is probably because it looked like a cup of tea except in a bowl. I thought maybe I had hit it big and the brain part was more blended into the liquid as opposed to being, well, as opposed to being brain. At just that moment, my wife returned. I did something I really shouldn’t have done. I went fishing. Not out on the river, though given a choice…! Nope, I went fishing in my bowl. My wife leaned over to see what had arrived, when even in the dark lighting, she recoiled a bit and said, “That looks like ‘brain’. She then took off her lid, and there was no momentary hope for what stared her in the face could only be described as “kidneys floating in soup”. (That could be a bit for David Letterman’s skit “Will It Float”. If you are ever watching and the object to guess as to whether or not it floats is duck kidneys, bet on them floating.)

So, I finished all my soup! Right down to the last bit of grey matter. Well, I guess technically I didn’t finish all my soup. It turns out that Elijah really likes brain soup! To my credit, I really only gave him the equivalent of two spoonfuls, while I myself finished all the rest. Oh yeah, one more thing. I pulled out some large very dark block looking thing. I leaned over and asked my friend what it was. He wasn’t sure but assured me I was supposed to eat it. I took the plunge and put this very strange thing into my mouth. I bit down and had the distinct feeling that this must be what eating a cork plug must taste like. I tried chewing for quite awhile, but the thing didn’t even really change shape. It just sort of existed in my mouth. I finally leaned over and asked again if I was supposed to eat this thing. He scooped some out of his, put it into his mouth, chewed for awhile and then spit it out. He never could identify it except guessing that maybe it was some sort of Chinese medicine. Oh goody.

Maren finished too. She finished looking at her soup.

Now, about that clever thing. . .

Quiet Day

On Wednesday, Elijah was a bit fussy, so we decided to keep close to the hotel. After breakfast, we took him over to the playground for a long play time. There were lots of parents and grandparents with their small children out playing too. It is funny to see a baby in split pants going down the slide. Imagine the skin sticks on that one! I put Elijah in jeans and a tee shirt to cut down on the comments. One child there was wearing quilted split pants, 2 shirts and a jacket. There was only one other tee shirt there. The rest were wearing long sleeves. Bizarre.

The people were very friendly. One grandpa spoke to Elijah in Cantonese and encouraged him to go down the slide. Elijah listened and did what he was told. He moved Elijah from element to element physically at times. Elijah did not object, but didn't seem thrilled either. At one point, he put Elijah on the teeter totter, and Elijah wasn't happy. We helped him off, gave him a quick hug, then helped him back on. He was very happy then. The child outlasted 2 other children on the teeter totter, then Greg pushed the other side up and down for a long time, then a girl about 5 years old got on. This teeter totter is metal and bounces off of tires buried into the ground. When the 5 year old got on, Elijah was, of course, not heavy enough to counter balance her. So she started pushing harder until he went all the way down. They were bouncing off of the tires, Greg was holding Elijah on, and Elijah thought it was wonderfully fun. His face lit up, and he laughed and laughed. He's gonna love Kings Island!

This afternoon I got Elijah's Chinese name Qing Zu Bin written in characters and framed in his room. I want him to be able to recognize his name in Chinese as part of his heritage. It looks great.

Yesterday they issued his passport, today our travel coordinators will go to the consulate appointment at 9:30 to apply for his visa. We do not have to go, but we do have to stay in the room in case they have any questions or need us to come down afterall. They say that does not happen often, but it does happen. Tomorrow is our swearing in. The group for swearing in is a large one, so they are splitting into 2 groups with us in the first one at 3:30. Gee, I wonder why the group is so large this time? Odd. We will be going to the swearing in with all of our luggage since the train station is right across the street from the consulate. We will be leaving Guangzhou on the 6:20 train, arriving in Hong Kong shortly after 8. We have a hotel in Kowloon for Friday night. We will take the Metro Train Airport Express to the Hong Kong Airport to fly out at 10 am Saturday morning.

We have a 3 hour layover in Tokyo, so I had emailed my friend Paul from high school who lives in Tokyo to see if he could meet us. Unfortunately, he will be in Bangkok, Thailand. I am so bummed. I haven't seen him in years.

Our time here is rapidly drawing to a close. This is our last full day, and I imagine tomorrow will be spent packing. I am so looking forward to returning home. Thank you for all your prayer support. I'm sure that is part of what is keeping me sane. God has truly sustained us during this adventure in our lives.

I'll shout it from the mountaintop...

This entry was actually written last night and saved as a draft to allow more time to be sure in my heart this was OK to post.

I don't even know if this post will see the light of day. Pride for me is insidious and I can't be sure of my motives sometimes. I really believe I only want to praise God, but pride is such a master of disguise. So I will type it, sleep on it and continue to pray about it. Know that if you are reading it, it comes after a lot of prayer and reflection.

Today was a spiritually difficult day for me. I woke up questioning a lot of things. In addition, the day with Elijah was actually much more typical of interactions between a two-year-old and his parent. Namely, I would tell him to do something, and he would refuse...usually with attitude. I would direct him to not do something, and he would continue...always with attitude.

I went out tonight to stop and talk to a shop owner who we know is a Christian. He was not there. I started to head over to the other shop where we have made genuine friends with the owners. This may sound weird to a lot of you, but I truly felt compelled to continue my walk by myself and not go to talk to them just then. I didn't know where I was headed; I just simply walked and prayed.

I ended up sitting on the bank of the Pearl River looking out into the river and praying. I was letting God know that there were aspects of our trip about which I was very disappointed in myself. I had wanted to make a bigger impact and felt like I blew it.

As it happens, I was praying with my eyes open. A lady approached me in a very friendly fashion. I recognized her as someone with whom I had had a brief encounter about a week ago, also next to this river, and also while I was praying. As she had the last time, she offered to provide me with some things that I was not interested "purchasing". As before, I politely declined. This time produced a slightly different result, however. Whereas last time she quickly vanished into the night when she saw I was not accepting, tonight she moved about 7 feet away and stood looking at the river. I stared at her with a growing sense of disbelief, humor, and love. The disbelief was connected to the opportunity God laid before me at the very moment I was expressing a sense of failure towards Him. The humor (I am not sure this is exactly the right feeling) had to do with the simple awe of God and how He works sometimes. And the love was for her person, not her "profession".

I motioned her over and invited her to sit. What she got was not what she expected. I simply began to talk to her and about her. I showed interest in who she was as a person. She asked me some questions about me. Somewhere around this point, she stated that we were friends and that she would no longer ask me to buy what she was selling. I told her that I did what I did in life because of Jesus. To my total surprise, she had never heard of Him. Never heard of the Bible either I soon found out. It is one thing to read about something like this and entirely different to experience someone who never has heard about Jesus. I did the best I could to present her with the Gospel though the language barrier did make it difficult.

Various sources have verified that such sharing can be construed as a crime here including a source living in country. Despite this, she listened and did not brush me off. I would love to say that the whole thing ended in a dramatic fashion, but it did not. We talked for awhile longer and she got up to leave. I got one last chance to encourage her and remind her that she was loved. I continue to pray for her and that her experience with me will be part of a series of events to lead her down a better path. I am also grateful to the Lord for edifying me at just the moment I was reaching out to Him and feeling like a failure. He teaches me so many lessons about how to be a father to my own children. He is...He simply is.

Everyone's Got a Water Buffalo

Today we decided to go on another adventure. After breakfast today, we, another family, and Qin Lei took cabs to another zoo. This one was called Xiangjiang Safari Park. In the cab on the way there, Elijah basically shut down. We think he was scared something bad was going to happen. It wasn't naptime at all, but he just started sucking his thumb and went to sleep. When we got there, he actually had teeth marks on his thumb, so we really think the ride stressed him out.

We were in a separate cab from the others and had difficulty meeting up. While we were waiting, we saw these little rodents, maybe mice, maybe gerbils, coming out to eat scraps. They would come right up to people. Greg had one touch his foot. It was so odd. While we watched these rodents run around, we had an older lady come very close to us and simply stare us down very disapprovingly. We aren't exactly sure why, but she was not subtle and she stayed a long time. There were other people at the next table over, so we weren't in a bad spot. It was really sort of strange.

At Xiangjiang, we were amazed at some of the things we saw. They allow you to have your picture taken touching a full grown white tiger, parrots, tiger cubs, camels, mini horse, on an elephant, and a few others. Clearly they do not have the liability issues we have in the US! They have the largest collection of white tigers in the world here and are a major breeder of white tigers. They had a white tiger show that actually started with 4 bears doing tricks--without muzzles on. Then they had 15 white tigers loose in a cage with 2 handlers. It was neat to see, but part of me kept thinking how wrong it was to force those animals to do silly things for our entertainment. The cats seemed a bit grumpy about it.

Elijah seemed to like the elephants the best. We got to buy bananas (10Y or $1.25US for 2 bunches) to feed to them. They were contained behind a fence and then a hot fence, and you just threw the bananas to them. Elijah thought that was great.

We then rode on a tram that carried us through a huge area with roaming animals. Some were contained behind hot fences (like the lions, tigers, and elephants.) The rest just roamed freely across the road in huge enclosures. A dozen giraffes, water buffalo (I just could help bursting into song when I saw them), deer, wildebeasts, ostriches, emus, peacocks, and so many I did not recognize. Elijah really liked seeing all the animals and was very vocal, pointing things out and squealing.

We took the bus home, which was infinitely cheaper than the cab that got us there. Elijah fell asleep for part of the trip, but it was a more gradual, natural nap than the one on the way there. When he woke up, the old ladies on the bus were indicating to us that we should have more clothes on him and should stop him from sucking his thumb. One reached over uninvited and pulled his chest carrier over his legs. We had heard about such rudeness prior to coming but it is fairly strange and irritating to have it happen in person. Another family here with us have experienced strangers on the street pulling their daughter's fingers out of her mouth. As for the clothes, I'm sorry, but I have to repeat that it is over 80 degrees here and we are carrying him all day. He would roast if we put him in long pants and a long sleeved shirt like they seem to want him to wear. Their children sweat.

On that topic, I have to say I am completely amused by the populace here wearing long sleeves, long pants, and sometimes sweaters or jackets, and then air conditioning their rooms to be comfortable. That just kills me. Short sleeves and short pants are so much cheaper than air conditioning. Whatever.

As an added note, we want to thank various family members for suggesting they give us our Christmas presents early this year in the form of cash. They thought it might be useful on our trip. They were right. We decided to use the cash on adventures rather than stuff. We are very grateful to them for the ability to create memories while on our adoption trip.

Here are pictures from today:

Medical Appointment

We had another easy day today. This morning we ate a quick breakfast, then went to the Medical Exam. It is a short cursory exam, but we did learn a few things. He is up to date on his vaccinations, so we do not even have to think about those. He is now 24 lbs, and almost 32", so he has grown since his last update we received in July. His hearing seems fine and his ears are clear. One of the doctors who checked him (there were 3) checked his special need and did not have much to say about it. He asked us what we had observed, which boils down to: we aren't sure. Elijah handled it very well. He only fussed a little and settled down quickly with a few banana toddler bite puffs. He loves those.

We spent quite a bit of time wandering around the island, poking around shops and talking with people. We also let Elijah play at the playground. His gross motor skills are on target, as are his fine motor skills. He seems to have been well taken care of. He knows what to do to have his nose wiped and his teeth brushed.

We finally got pizza for dinner last night. It was disappointingly bland. What I would do for a LaRosa's... To avoid the problem we had had the night before, we called at 4 pm to order delivery at 6 pm. To get the price over the amount needed for free delivery, we also ordered a half dozen bagels to eat for lunches. We were able to find some Skippy Peanut Butter in the store, so that made for a good lunch. Figuring out smooth from crunchy was a little tricky when the words are all in Chinese, but I managed.

For dinner tonight we returned to the Rose Garden on the river. That is where Greg ate chicken knuckles. He chose Cashew Chicken tonight, that I think tastes great, but is way too spicy to eat more than a bite or two. Elijah had Chicken Congee and a jar of baby veggies. I had beef stir fried with noodles again. It is so funny to go to one of these restaurants. You see things on the menu (that is pages and pages long, to the point of being overwelming) that just make you cringe or laugh. We have seen Pickled Plasma, Roast Duck Chest, Duck Chin, Chicken Feet in a sauce, Pig Lung Soup, Shark Fin Soup, and, of course, Chicken Soft Bones. Studying a menu that is in Chinese with enough English that you know should be taken with a grain of salt makes it very difficult to make a good choice for dinner. The Chinese do not use articles and frequently mix up their prepositions, in addition to these complications, they flat out misuse or misspell words. Once I find something on the menu that sounds edible, I tend to keep ordering that same dish. It is just easier that way. Fewer surprises. When I am handed one of these 8 page overwelming menus, I just remind myself that I only have to find one dish to eat.

Random thoughts, Part 3

1. Snot is every bit as bad as I remember it.
2. The US Occupational Safety and Health Administration would have a field day here.
3. If you think the station identifiers on your TV are obnoxious, you should see them here. They are larger, not see through, and generally move and change. I have seen one large one rapidly and dramatically change its appearance every second or so. I just watched another bounce across the TV screen like your marquee setting on your screen saver (you know, when you have words bounce to the edge of the screen and then all around.
4. Friends are important when you are at home and more so when you are on the road.
5. I often find myself lowering my voice when talking about Christ at home. Not right, but it happens. I am trying to avoid commiting what seems like shame or worry. It is entirely different to have to look around you before you talk about Christ due to concerns about my own welfare as well as that of the person I am talking to.
6. Talking to a shop owner and his wife about how both Maren and I drive and have cars when neither of them can do either in large part due to cost, drives home just how rich we are compared to most others in the world.
7. I can't decide if I feel like a slug for bargaining or if I am OK with it because that is the way around here.
8. It is cool to think I have made a friend half way around the world.
9. The place that served me up a plate of juicy chicken knuckles serves up a mean cashew chicken...but it is not for the timid in terms of spice. The waitress was impressed with my consumption.
10. A James Bond Marathon sounds cool until the dumb thing runs for two straight weeks on about the only English channel we receive.
11. James Bond's gadgets are still cool no matter how many movies of his you see in a short period of time.
12. Gee, I am starting to understand better why our trip ended up happening the way it has.
13. It is bizarre to see 10 different brides in rented gowns getting their pictures taken outside day after day.
14. CNN reported a day or two ago that McDonalds is looking to China to supply their restaurants. If that includes the beef, Mickey D's will go bankrupt in America. I don't know what it is exactly but it sure is different.
15. There are 600 McDonalds in China. I think 124 of them are within walking distance of our hotel.
16. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time (Stephen Wright).
17. I spent a lot of time wondering why I volutarily was going back to diapers.
18. Not me Lee, my kid!
19. I still can't stand the diaper thing.
20. It is already definitely worth it.

20 Observations and Updates on Elijah

1. He loves to suck his thumb. He does it when he is sleepy or stressed.
2. He was made to have a blankie. He wads it up to hold it, strokes it, snuggles with it, loves it.
3. He is ticklish almost everywhere.
4. His whole face lights up when he smiles.
5. His belly laugh is wonderful to hear.
6. We have a better understanding of why he was banged up when he came to us. He has no fear and moves fast.



7. He is healing nicely. Most of his scabs are gone and are not being replaced. He is cleaner, softer, and looking better each day.
8. He does not seem to experience pain. We have seen him wacked upside the head with a plastic toy 3 times with no reaction. He jumped from standing off the bed and landed on his bottom and just got up and walked on.
9. He throws himself bodily into space without care as to where he might land. We have seen him jump off park benches. (Fortunately Daddy was standing there to catch him!) He will also be standing there and just drop to the ground.
10. He wears 12-18 month sized clothing.
11. He now weighs 24 lbs and is almost 32 inches tall.
12. He is coming alive more each day. He is also starting to be more flexible in who can hold him. I got to hold him yesterday without him crying, he also kissed me.
13. He shares very well with others. He got hit in the head with a toy yesterday, then went right back to share with that child. He also understands the concept of trading. Look out in the toddler room, though, he knows how to defend his space if needed.
14. We will need to child proof when we get home, that is for sure. He is becoming more and more inquisitive and loves things with buttons!
15. His coos are adorable; his cries are pathetic.
16. He wakes up like bear, but give him five minutes, then he is a sweet as honey.
17. He will taste darn near anything, but knows what he likes. Ice cream is high on his list. That's my boy!
18. He clearly says words, we just do not understand him. That must be very frustrating for him.
19. While I wouldn't go so far as to actually call him potty trained, he is certainly well on the way. We'll take that!
20. He is smart, energetic, strong-willed, loving, and is the perfect addition to our family.

Picture test

We have been having trouble with a new camera card. We are attempting to use our old card to work with the pictures. We also have to go about it in a different fashion. If this works, the picture you see is of morning assembly at a local school. This assembly happens every Monday morning.

In defense of myself!

Greg>
OK, I have taken some friendly harranging for my post about "chicken soft bones". The messages have basically been to the tune of "You dork. What did you expect when you ordered something called "chicken soft bones. When you order bones, you get bones!" Well, in defense of myself, that doesn't exactly work in translation. I fully thought that what they meant to say was "boneless chicken"...you know, something like "soft on bones". It even crossed my mind that what they meant was "chicken with bones in it". It never ever crossed my mind that I would literally be served a plate of chicken knuckles. The closest thing resembling meat on these things was a few generous pieces that had some cartilage still attached. I gnawed on about 12 of them to suck whatever precious juices out of them I could and then gave up the task as very much not worth the effort. Besides, my ability to ignore the fact that I was siphoning joint juice began to give way. That is when I concentrated on eating my dinner of onions. Let me put it to you another way. When I saw a sign advertising "Died Coke", I didn't think they would serve up some R.I.P. Coke or that it was only for the deceased. When they said they were spraying "Mosquito Medicament", I didn't figure they were trying to make the poor ailing mosquitos feel better. So, laugh all you want. Anyone can eat a tasty chicken leg, but how many of you have dined on succulent "Joints of Fowl"?

As an off-topic but humorous note...On our way home from McDonalds today, we crossed a crosswalk of a one-way, single lane street. We clearly had the green walk signal, and traffic was clearly stopped. As we got to the other side and began walking up the sidewalk, we had to...get this...get out of the way of 3 motorbikes as they jumped the curb, drove up the sidewalk, and ran the red light. As I looked back, a traveling companion asked if I had given them a dirty look. I chuckled and said, "No, I was just looking back to see that it was indeed a red light and that we are, in fact, on the sidewalk!"

We Corrupted Him Today

We got up this morning, ate breakfast, then went to church. Today we sang 2 songs in Chinese (one was the same as last week. I'm impressed with myself for recognizing it.) We also sang I Exalt Thee and Victory Chant. As the sermon started, Elijah became very unhappy with his lot in life. We had to leave the service to go to the courtyard.

Out in the courtyard, we got into some neat conversations. One was with a mom from Texas, a fellow believer who is here getting child #6. She is adopting a 2.5 yo boy with missing fingers. The rest were local people who wanted to know where we were from and how we got a boy. One did not seem to know anything about adoption. At least one said she was a Christian. It continues to be hard at times to talk to these people since our lives and culture are so different from theirs. When they asked how many children we have and we responded three, she commented that our house would be very crowded. I didn't want to tell her that we have 4 bedrooms and a big yard. Another couple here was asked a similar questions: How many rooms does your house have. He answered 3. She said, "Oh, very big." He clarified, "That is bedrooms, not just rooms." She said they had something like 8 people living in 2 rooms.

After church, we walked over to the nearby McDonald's for lunch. We completely corrupted Elijah by feeding him 3 chicken nuggets, french fries, and some ice cream. The burgers are not quite the same here, but the fries are identical. When my mom took Kailey and Justin before they left, Kailey ate 10 chicken nuggets and Justin had 8. Kailey announced that while they are at my parents' house, she does not want to eat out at all! Nana has to cook every single meal. Well, maybe halfway through the week they could go out to get some Sesame Chicken. There certainly isn't any of that dish here!

They have returned safely to the US. Here are the emails they sent us upon arrival at my folks' house:

From Kailey
We got back a little bit ago. I slept a whole lot on the plane [note from Nana – about 5 hours]. On the second plane, I looked out the window the whole time. It only seemed like it took a little while. On the big plane from China, Hannah from the ballet school was sitting in the nest section. I did not see here until we got to the airport in Chicago. I thought “that looks like the girl from my ballet school.” When she looked at me, I waved and she waved back. We kept seeing her and her family in the airport. Well, got to go to bed.


From Justin:
I love you mommy. I will see you in a week.

So, the bus from Guangzhou was not as advertised. We did all have to leave the bus to go through customs and immigration – that meant hauling all of our stuff ( no carts) through an unbelievably crowded and confusing immigration processing center, then coming out the other side to find that our next transportation was in a seven person van with two more travelers and all of their luggage. That whole process took 45 minutes and we barely made the plane. It was extremely frustrating – and we were very worried about missing the plane,

I have sent you info about sleeping in the airport in Hong Kong – you may want to explore this more. I googled hong kong airport sleep. I think your only choice is to go to Hong Kong Friday night. I am exhausted – more tomorrow.
******

We had already decided to take the train back to Hong Kong Friday night and stay at a hotel there. We have our reservations and will take the MTR train to the airport on Saturday. We should be home Saturday between 9-10 pm.

We Just Want a Pizza

Tonight for dinner, Greg and I picked up food for Elijah, then came back to the room so we could order a pizza from Danny's Bagels. We have heard that Danny is actually from New York and the pizza is quite good. We started phoning at 6:45, knowing that they took their last order at 7:30. We got a busy signal for 45 minutes. At least we think that was a busy signal. Here the only difference between a ring and a busy signal is the length of the tone. Finally at 7:30, someone picked up the phone and laid it on the counter. I stayed on the line for 10 minutes, but no one ever spoke into the phone. We were so disappointed. We put Elijah down to bed, but it is 9:40 pm and he is still lying there awake. I left the boys here in the room and went to get sweet and sour chicken. It took forever, but at least we have eaten now.

One thing that is very difficult about being here is answering some of the people's questions. They will ask how many children we have. When we tell them 3, they tell us how lucky we are to have such a large family. We are not sure how to respond to this. We know we are blessed and thank them. In the USA, 3 children is not considered a large family, just slightly above average. You aren't talking large until at least 4-5 children. My heart breaks for these people.

A positive thing happened today. Greg got to present the gospel to one of the shop owners we have spent quite a bit of time with. Nothing more than a discussion, but neat none the less. Tomorrow we will worship with the saints here again. We are looking forward to that.

Bittersweet

Today is truly a bittersweet day. More bitter than sweet. My parents, Kailey and Justin left very early this morning (they were downstairs by 6 am) to catch the shuttle to the Hong Kong airport. It was hard to say good bye to them. We know without a doubt they will be well cared for, but they just want to go home. They did not want to leave us or their new little brother. They are going to be hangin out at my parents' house or at the bookstore, according to my parents' schedules. It was good that they left as it will be so much cheaper to use their tickets as originally planned, only changing ours. It also cuts down on the expenses here since we are feeding fewer people. It will also give Greg and I some alone time with Elijah to really get to know him without others around. We were still very sad to see them go. Mom and Dad have been a great help taking care of things, helping with the children, and encouraging us to try new things.

We have moved to a new room at the hotel. Our hotel has the original building, plus they have an addtional building called the Annex. Our room is so much larger now! Before we took two slightly-larger-than-a-single sized beds and pushed them together. Now we have a real king sized bed. We also have a small sitting room separated from the main room by a half wall. We have a computer and free internet access as well. The other advantage to moving rooms is Elijah will not be looking for Kailey, Justin, Nana, and Papa in this room. He already plays more and isn't nearly as fussy here. In the other room, he started fussing and following Greg as soon as he got into the room. He hasn't done that here.

Elijah is taking his nap now. Greg has gone to drop of our laundry one last time. I could get used to sending my dirty clothes out and having them come back clean and neatly folded! We do not have any big plans for the rest of today. Just spending time with our new son.

Free Day

Today was a free day, the first of many until we receive Elijah's passport next Wednesday. We did not do much, just hung around the island and spent time together. At lunch today, Greg and I took the kids to Lucy's, that serves mediocre American food. Justin had PB&J; Kailey had tuna; I had a chicken sandwich; Greg had a chicken quesadilla. We had already fed Elijah leftover chicken congee from the night before. He had is first French Fries and liked them.

While we ate, we discussed what we missed most. The great consensus was that we missed the people at home most of all. We were looking forward to getting back to our street to be able to play again. (It is hard to remember that it is not hot at home.) We also missed things like mac and cheese, Spaghettios, pizza, and ice cream. I also miss milk. They are doing more milk now, but there still isn't much to be found. The Oreos are real, though.

Elijah took a hour long nap this morning, then a two and a half hour nap from 2:30-5:00 pm. This proved to be a bad thing tonight at bedtime. He was ready to play and not remotely interested in sleep. Oh, well. Live and learn. The orphanage gave us very little real information on him, so everything is an experiment, just like with a newborn, only with a lot more attitude.

He amazed us at dinner tonight. We went to a restaurant that did not serve food for babies, so we stopped elsewhere and got another serving of chicken congee (which is like oatmeal, only made from rice with shredded chicken mixed in) He ate all the congee (at least 1 cup), then a 1/2 cup of peach yogurt, then 2 pieces of lemon chicken (sized like a chicken nugget), then he sampled Singapore noodles, rice, and fish. He belly was so full, it stuck out past his pants! We have Greg hold him while I feed him. That way he has to come to me for food. The theory is that if he learns that he can come to me for food, he will eventually come to me for other things too.

We are nearly packed up to move to the new room. I need to go now so that we can pack the computer and go to bed. More tomorrow.

Passport to Home

Today we applied for Elijah ZuBin's passport. We went first to pick up our Notary books. I'm still not exactly sure what it is, but it is some formal document about the adoption. It has a family picture (parents and adopted child), a bunch of Chinese writing and our names. All I can read is our names. We then went to a police station to apply for his Chinese passport. Greg thought it was funny that we had to go to a police station to do that until I pointed out that we go to a post office. He agreed that that was even stranger.

After the application was submitted, our coordinator took us across the street to have Elijah's picture retaken. I have no idea what for, but the one submitted by the orphanage was the wrong size. Whatever. One more hoop. Everyone in the photo place spoke Cantonese, which is Elijah's language. They told us how to pronounce his name in Cantonese and told us what his nickname would likely be. When they said his nickname, he smiled and lit up for them. It was neat to see. I have been trying to pronounce his Cantonese name, but Qin Lei says I cannot do it. She says she is not dramatic enough to say it in Cantonese. Oh, well. One of the ladies in the photo shop asked Elijah if she could hold him. He shook his head and moved closer to Greg. That was good to see. There is definitely a bond forming there. He and I are still struggling. I know it will work out, though. It will just take time.

Tonight for dinner we returned to a restaurant on the river we have been twice before. It is a beautiful restaurant to eat at since you get to eat outside at tables by the river. Brightly lit boats pass by. Chinese lantern hang from lamp posts. The whole place is beautiful. Mom and Dad struggle a bit because it is not well lit. They have a hard time reading the menu. Greg tried a new dish called Chicken Soft Bones in Manga Sauce and Thai Chili. He expected meat and a spicy sauce. He tasted the first bite and found a bone, no meat. He thought he had gotten a bad piece. The second bite made him think there were more bones than normal. After the third bite he investigated more closely and found the whole plate was full of chicken knuckles and joints. It was basically inedible. He did eat quite a few spicy onions, though and wondered if he was going to be able to fill up on them. Kailey got a delicious dish of skewered beef cooked over charcoal. Justin ate a BLT. Mom and I had noodles and beef. Elijah had congee with chicken. He ate quite a bit once he calmed down. We tried to get him to sit in a high chair without Greg holding him, but that was a no go.

We came back to the room to put the kids to bed. Elijah received his second bath, which was just as noisy as the first. His feet are starting to look cleaner, but I still think they just need a new layer of skin. I have been rubbing Shea Butter lotion into his skin to try to soften it up. It is just so rough. He does not object to having his teeth brushed. He likes to spit into the sink, I think. He also goes to bed so easily. Greg just sits by him and he goes to sleep! He sleeps all night, too. Gotta love it. Well, I am going to sign off for the night. It is almost midnight here.

Tomorrow we have to reorganize and pack my parents and Kailey and Justin. They'll be leaving at 6:30 am Saturday morning on the shuttle to return to the Hong Kong airport to fly home. We will be moving to the other part of the Victory Hotel called the Annex. The rooms are bigger, but more importantly, each room comes with a computer and free internet access. Right now we use Mom's laptop, but it has to go home with her. We were thinking we would have to go to the business center and pay for internet access, taking turns staying with Elijah. This way we don't have to. They asked us when we got here if we wanted to move to the Annex, but here we could have joining rooms, which has been wonderful.

Well, good night, and thanks for praying. We really have needed it. We have been praying for your needs as we have known them and for blessing on all of you.

In Perspective

When I read about the Jewish nation in the history provided in the Bible, I often marvel at their ability to witness some great and amazing thing only to forget their first love at the first sign of trouble. I often totally miss the fact that I do this regularly and with much less than an army hot on my tracks to make me sway. A good friend wrote to me today and reflected that I seemed to be discouraged. He then provided excellent guidance and encouragment that dovetailed really well into my quiet time I had just prior to really reading his message diligently. The sad thing is, he was right. I had been discouraged. I don't have an army bearing down on me. I am not being persecuted. I have family and friends that love me tremendously and offer all kinds of support, and yet I am easily brought down from my mountaintop. How sad.

At the same time, it is another time for me to learn and apply and become more like Christ. He kept his eyes firmly on the goal. He led with total authority. He also loved with his whole life. There are concerns I have regarding our son and more immediately regarding the trip. However, my perspective has been realigned through the power of Christ using two brothers in Christ. I was reminded to keep my eyes on the prize. To lead. To persevere. There are things I must do, and there are things I must trust God to do. I have also been blessed by Ken W's email list of prayer concerns. While it is true that we are on it and know that many are praying for us, the list is a regular reminder that there are others in the body of Christ experiencing REAL problems. Long problems. Heart wrenching problems. I can see all sorts of ways some of our issues will be able to be addressed. Simply seeing solutions and a number of them at that is tremendously hope-inducing. There are others that cannot fathom any way at all short of a miracle that things will improve. Our family is together and literally just grew today. There are families that have been ripped apart by death, divorce, separation, and more.

Maren suggested I read Psalm 68 this morning. In it I found verse 3: But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God, may they be happy and joyful. This then reminds me of James where we are told to rejoice in our sufferings. The Lord is in the process of building character and hope within me. There are times when I need refined by the fire. I am not even going through the fire, rather there is just some burnishing going on. May those of you going through the fire remember that you are being refined like much pure gold.

Thank you brothers and sisters for taking the time to pray and encourage. It would be easy to let it go, but know that you are instruments of the Lord.