(g.r.)
Hmmm, what to say shortly before my last night as a father of three?
What to think on this last night?
I don't know if it is this infernal jet lag that I cannot shake, trepidation, serenity or what, but my mind is staggeringly empty on this evening.
I really don't know what to think.
I can't wait to meet her. I can't wait to be with her. I can't wait to hug her. I hope she allows it but completely understand if she won't.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Meet Prakesh
(g.r.)
One of the things I enjoyed so much about China was meeting another family from China and getting to know them and the culture much better through them. I was hoping to have a sort of similar experience this trip. Today, I got the start of it.
Carl, the kids, and I were getting ready to go exploring for the day. Carl and I were outside talking when a man walked up and began to speak to us. We recognized him as someone from the hotel. He began by asking questions about the cricket match and if we had watched. As we talked, he used words that are catch phrases of sorts within the Christian culture but would not really arouse any sort of attention if the listener was not Christian. We began to sprinkle our responses back with similar sorts of things. Very soon, we were all talking openly about Christ, his role in the world, and his role within India.
We learned that Prakesh was an orphan himself. His mother committed suicide when he was four years old by jumping into a river. She did this because of the poverty they lived in. His father tried for awhile to raise him but could not, also due to the circumstances of poverty. Soon, his father turned him over to an orphanage where he resided for the next 17 years. It was a Christian orphanage, but he did not accept Christ while living there. After leaving the orphanage, he felt privileged to be able to serve in the army. After getting out of the army, he heard a message somewhere given by a Christian. After listening to that message, he turned his life over to Christ. He now is the manager of the housekeeping crew here and feels glad to be able to do it.
He had first thought that we were Europeans who would not want to have anything to do with the help staff. Then, while attending to our room, he happened across one of our Bibles. When he saw that, he said he immediately knew that we would not want to keep our distance from him but would be willing to draw close to him. He was right!
It was interesting beginning to learn about Christianity in India. He is very active in his church and even has the opportunity to speak at other churches from time to time. He shared that his own church gives away 80% of their donations to the missions field. I had to stop him and specifically clarify that he said 8-0. He said that I heard him correctly and that they only use 20% of what the take in to help their own church function.
When he found out that we were adopting, he mentioned that other families have been to the hotel doing the same thing. He felt as if the Jayamahal Palace was being used by God. I had to agree with him. Hopefully, we will be able to spend some more time together.
One of the things I enjoyed so much about China was meeting another family from China and getting to know them and the culture much better through them. I was hoping to have a sort of similar experience this trip. Today, I got the start of it.
Carl, the kids, and I were getting ready to go exploring for the day. Carl and I were outside talking when a man walked up and began to speak to us. We recognized him as someone from the hotel. He began by asking questions about the cricket match and if we had watched. As we talked, he used words that are catch phrases of sorts within the Christian culture but would not really arouse any sort of attention if the listener was not Christian. We began to sprinkle our responses back with similar sorts of things. Very soon, we were all talking openly about Christ, his role in the world, and his role within India.
We learned that Prakesh was an orphan himself. His mother committed suicide when he was four years old by jumping into a river. She did this because of the poverty they lived in. His father tried for awhile to raise him but could not, also due to the circumstances of poverty. Soon, his father turned him over to an orphanage where he resided for the next 17 years. It was a Christian orphanage, but he did not accept Christ while living there. After leaving the orphanage, he felt privileged to be able to serve in the army. After getting out of the army, he heard a message somewhere given by a Christian. After listening to that message, he turned his life over to Christ. He now is the manager of the housekeeping crew here and feels glad to be able to do it.
He had first thought that we were Europeans who would not want to have anything to do with the help staff. Then, while attending to our room, he happened across one of our Bibles. When he saw that, he said he immediately knew that we would not want to keep our distance from him but would be willing to draw close to him. He was right!
It was interesting beginning to learn about Christianity in India. He is very active in his church and even has the opportunity to speak at other churches from time to time. He shared that his own church gives away 80% of their donations to the missions field. I had to stop him and specifically clarify that he said 8-0. He said that I heard him correctly and that they only use 20% of what the take in to help their own church function.
When he found out that we were adopting, he mentioned that other families have been to the hotel doing the same thing. He felt as if the Jayamahal Palace was being used by God. I had to agree with him. Hopefully, we will be able to spend some more time together.
Pictures from Day Three
These first two images are taken of the gorgeous hotel we are staying in. We were remarking today that the experiences of most of the people we know who have adopted are not in such plush settings. In India, there really is a major difference between the "haves" and the "have nots". In this city, to drop to a lesser hotel would be to put ourselves in a bit of danger. It may look as though we are splurging to get something extra nice, but that really isn't the case particularly when you know that staying a week here is much cheaper than staying at lesser hotels for the same duration in the US.
Good times at breakfast.
Kailey didn't find her scrambled eggs very appetizing.
The first two pictures are of a massive tree in the courtyard of our hotel. Check out the size of the canopy! I don't think I have ever seen such a thing. The third tree image is of some sort of palm also growing in the courtyard.
Sorry. Can't get enough of the cows.
Trash is everywhere.
The proper way to ride a motorcycle as a passenger while wearing a sari.
The first two pictures are of a massive tree in the courtyard of our hotel. Check out the size of the canopy! I don't think I have ever seen such a thing. The third tree image is of some sort of palm also growing in the courtyard.
Packing and Traveling Tips
I know several people who are following our adventures and are themselves in preparation for traveling to India themselves, so I thought I would share what I have found to be helpful on this trip so far.
1. Wash and wear hair that can be tied back. There are no hair dryers here and it is hot.
2. Never, never drink the water. There is also never an excuse to have the seal on your water bottle broken. Do not let anyone open your water bottle for you. Check each one for an original factory seal.
3. Cover your bathroom faucet with a hand towel so that you do not accidentally rinse your toothbrush in the water and end up with Delhi Belly.
4. Bring snack bags of crackers and cookies. There are just times you are between meals or food is not available and you need a mess-free snack.
5. Lightweight, high tech clothes that can be washed in the tub with FelzNaptha and hung to dry within 24 hours.
6. Wearing jeans and a black tee shirt to travel in helps you to blend in and not be identified as Americans. Dressed like this, my father was asked for directions in Amsterdam a few years ago.
7. Supplements we are taking daily: Esberitox (supercharged Echinachea) and Nature's Way Primadophilus Bifidus (probiotics) to boost our immune systems and protect us from Delhi Belly. Elijah is also taking chewable fish oil and his multi vitamin, but that is more for behavioral reasons.
8. Antibacterial hand and face wipes and hand sanitizer. These let us clean tables and chair arms, clean up small faces, and sanitize our hands after we wash them. We have also used the wipes to clean the outside of peelable fruits before we ate them. We SOOOOOOOO do not want to get sick.
9. Sweetly refuse all offers of non-bottled water. We have found the excuse of, "Thank you, but I have a weak stomach," and then immediately pulling out your own bottle of water to be helpful.
1. Wash and wear hair that can be tied back. There are no hair dryers here and it is hot.
2. Never, never drink the water. There is also never an excuse to have the seal on your water bottle broken. Do not let anyone open your water bottle for you. Check each one for an original factory seal.
3. Cover your bathroom faucet with a hand towel so that you do not accidentally rinse your toothbrush in the water and end up with Delhi Belly.
4. Bring snack bags of crackers and cookies. There are just times you are between meals or food is not available and you need a mess-free snack.
5. Lightweight, high tech clothes that can be washed in the tub with FelzNaptha and hung to dry within 24 hours.
6. Wearing jeans and a black tee shirt to travel in helps you to blend in and not be identified as Americans. Dressed like this, my father was asked for directions in Amsterdam a few years ago.
7. Supplements we are taking daily: Esberitox (supercharged Echinachea) and Nature's Way Primadophilus Bifidus (probiotics) to boost our immune systems and protect us from Delhi Belly. Elijah is also taking chewable fish oil and his multi vitamin, but that is more for behavioral reasons.
8. Antibacterial hand and face wipes and hand sanitizer. These let us clean tables and chair arms, clean up small faces, and sanitize our hands after we wash them. We have also used the wipes to clean the outside of peelable fruits before we ate them. We SOOOOOOOO do not want to get sick.
9. Sweetly refuse all offers of non-bottled water. We have found the excuse of, "Thank you, but I have a weak stomach," and then immediately pulling out your own bottle of water to be helpful.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Random Thoughts
These are Greg's random thoughts. I wouldn't saddle my wife with them!!
1. Maybe when those blasted geese from Canada are WALKING ACROSS THE STINKING ROAD INSTEAD OF USING THEIR STINKING WINGS TO FLY (to be read with anger and exasperation), maybe they are just taxi'ing to their portion of the runway. I mean, I was in a plane that spent a significant amount of time just driving around the tarmac. Maybe some geese are flying overhead wondering why our planes just don't use their wings to fly.
2. Sleep deprivation probably really does make an excellent torture device.
3. Seeing a front page listing in an international newspaper announcing some christian group is saying the world will end on May 21 at 6pm (Pacific time because of course that is where this group is located [sneer]) and having my airplane Indian seatmates read it and begin laughing made me feel silly sharing the same title of "christian" with the other whack-a-doos who apparently have not paid much attention to scripture.
4. How long could a person live in an airport an not get caught?
5. Lateral motion during take-off is unsettling.
6. Why can a family be nicer to each other after no sleep in 24 hours while being confined to 18 inches of space in a flying tin can be nicer to each other than the same family who has gotten a great night of sleep in nice beds in a nice house eating food that was not mass produced?
7. Who thinks showing the movie "Burlesque" on the main airplane screen that cannot be avoided is a good choice for a long flight with children on board (or adults for that matter)?
8. Car horns in America are used to convey bitterness, anger, and rage...oh, and the occasional courtesy warning. Car horns in India actually seem to have their own version of Morse code to them. One short beep to warn the pedestrian that they will lose if they step out right now. Two short beeps to let some driver of a ricksaw or motorcycle know they are about to be passed and will lose if they move to the left or to the right. Four to five short beeps alerting a bus that you are about to pass in a super narrow corridor that no motorcycle much less the minivan I am riding in has no business going down. Furthermore, said bus needs to know that this is happening because we will lose if it decides it really doesn't appreciate us cleaning the sides of the bus with the sides of our minivan. One long blast of the horn to convey that you really don't in fact like that a driver just did to you what you have done to 73 other drivers in the past 2.5 kilometers (because we are in India, you know). Surprisingly, I have only heard the one long blast one time. Oh, and then there are occasional blasts of the horn that seem to have no apparent connection to anything happening other than perhaps the driver doesn't want the wiring to cool off too much by not beeping it frequently enough.
9. Being a cow in India is a good gig if you can get it.
10. I kid you not, I counted twelve, 12, one dozen vehicles in the front row of a three lane road at a stoplight. This included one bus, several cars, and motorcycles.
11. Just writing the word stoplight in #10 reminded me that on our way to the hotel from the airport, our driver ran nearly every red light and stop sign without even slowing down. He even said that no one follows those rules at night. And he was right. He even did this IN FRONT OF A COP who apparently didn't give a rip.
12. Just writing about the driver running red lights reminded me of something else our driver did that night (I told you these were random thoughts. Give me a break. My head has not stopped spinning and feeling funky for three straight days...I think it is three...who really knows at this point). Anyway, in America the lane lines are to clearly mark that the cars are to be BETWEEN the lines. In India, those lines apparently serve the same function as the rail on the Old Fashioned Cars at Kings Island (those are gone now, right? I think so.) Our driver literally spent most of his time with those lines directly in the middle of our vehicle. At least on the streets where they bothered to line them.
13. National pride is an interesting thing. We were warned by three different people not to be out in the late afternoon/early evening tonight because India was playing most-hated Pakistan in the Cricket World Cup. Win or lose, we were told things were likely to get pretty hairy and dangerous. India won. It got really loud around the city. We walked outside briefly to see what the explosions were all about, watched a firework or two, then retreated back into our room.
14. People in America who complain that baseball is too slow and boring have never watched a cricket match. Those things can literally last for days.
15. I happened to walk near a drunk guy blowing a Vuvuzela (those noisy things from the recent soccer world cup) when India scored. Drunk guys and Vuvuzelas really should part company.
1. Maybe when those blasted geese from Canada are WALKING ACROSS THE STINKING ROAD INSTEAD OF USING THEIR STINKING WINGS TO FLY (to be read with anger and exasperation), maybe they are just taxi'ing to their portion of the runway. I mean, I was in a plane that spent a significant amount of time just driving around the tarmac. Maybe some geese are flying overhead wondering why our planes just don't use their wings to fly.
2. Sleep deprivation probably really does make an excellent torture device.
3. Seeing a front page listing in an international newspaper announcing some christian group is saying the world will end on May 21 at 6pm (Pacific time because of course that is where this group is located [sneer]) and having my airplane Indian seatmates read it and begin laughing made me feel silly sharing the same title of "christian" with the other whack-a-doos who apparently have not paid much attention to scripture.
4. How long could a person live in an airport an not get caught?
5. Lateral motion during take-off is unsettling.
6. Why can a family be nicer to each other after no sleep in 24 hours while being confined to 18 inches of space in a flying tin can be nicer to each other than the same family who has gotten a great night of sleep in nice beds in a nice house eating food that was not mass produced?
7. Who thinks showing the movie "Burlesque" on the main airplane screen that cannot be avoided is a good choice for a long flight with children on board (or adults for that matter)?
8. Car horns in America are used to convey bitterness, anger, and rage...oh, and the occasional courtesy warning. Car horns in India actually seem to have their own version of Morse code to them. One short beep to warn the pedestrian that they will lose if they step out right now. Two short beeps to let some driver of a ricksaw or motorcycle know they are about to be passed and will lose if they move to the left or to the right. Four to five short beeps alerting a bus that you are about to pass in a super narrow corridor that no motorcycle much less the minivan I am riding in has no business going down. Furthermore, said bus needs to know that this is happening because we will lose if it decides it really doesn't appreciate us cleaning the sides of the bus with the sides of our minivan. One long blast of the horn to convey that you really don't in fact like that a driver just did to you what you have done to 73 other drivers in the past 2.5 kilometers (because we are in India, you know). Surprisingly, I have only heard the one long blast one time. Oh, and then there are occasional blasts of the horn that seem to have no apparent connection to anything happening other than perhaps the driver doesn't want the wiring to cool off too much by not beeping it frequently enough.
9. Being a cow in India is a good gig if you can get it.
10. I kid you not, I counted twelve, 12, one dozen vehicles in the front row of a three lane road at a stoplight. This included one bus, several cars, and motorcycles.
11. Just writing the word stoplight in #10 reminded me that on our way to the hotel from the airport, our driver ran nearly every red light and stop sign without even slowing down. He even said that no one follows those rules at night. And he was right. He even did this IN FRONT OF A COP who apparently didn't give a rip.
12. Just writing about the driver running red lights reminded me of something else our driver did that night (I told you these were random thoughts. Give me a break. My head has not stopped spinning and feeling funky for three straight days...I think it is three...who really knows at this point). Anyway, in America the lane lines are to clearly mark that the cars are to be BETWEEN the lines. In India, those lines apparently serve the same function as the rail on the Old Fashioned Cars at Kings Island (those are gone now, right? I think so.) Our driver literally spent most of his time with those lines directly in the middle of our vehicle. At least on the streets where they bothered to line them.
13. National pride is an interesting thing. We were warned by three different people not to be out in the late afternoon/early evening tonight because India was playing most-hated Pakistan in the Cricket World Cup. Win or lose, we were told things were likely to get pretty hairy and dangerous. India won. It got really loud around the city. We walked outside briefly to see what the explosions were all about, watched a firework or two, then retreated back into our room.
14. People in America who complain that baseball is too slow and boring have never watched a cricket match. Those things can literally last for days.
15. I happened to walk near a drunk guy blowing a Vuvuzela (those noisy things from the recent soccer world cup) when India scored. Drunk guys and Vuvuzelas really should part company.
Sneha's Pictorial History, Part One
Pics from the days
Hopefully this will work out the way I intend it. If it doesn't, my intentions are simply to post some photos with some captions that will capture in some way the few days we have had thus far.
This is Justin sacked out big-time in the airport. Lots of travel, little sleep.
This is the nice lady who sold us some of the most tasty oranges I have ever had. Thank you nice lady.
Poverty in America is very different from poverty outside of America.
Packin' 'em in!
Perched on the second floor balcony of a cafe overlooking part of the city. She was, um, noticed!
Look closely. See the foot of the one driver shoving the other driver out of the way?!!! NASCAR thinks they have the market on close driving. They've never been over here!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOVE OUTTA THE WAY. Yes, cows really are revered here. Yes, they really do wander in the streets. Yes, they wander in streets in downtowns as busy as you have ever been in. Potholes or cow patties? Which would you rather dodge?
History: Reborn
My wife stated it perfectly when she started her post with "What a day". Never have I experienced something like today. Waking up to the email about problematic test results was disheartening, but in some ways not a shock. The more I am around adoptions, the more I find that smoothness and order are the exceptions rather than the rule. I wish the news were different, but it doesn't change our goal in the least. It may add some interesting layers, but that is all they are...layers to the story. It is my prayer that additional testing will allow us to return with her as scheduled, but I understand that it may not happen, and I can accept that.
Going to the orphanage was a dream come true since we first started this process. Other than getting our daughter, the only thing I wanted out of this trip was to visit the orphanage and visit the finding spot. Going to the orphanage also further stoked my desire to one day run an orphanage in another country. But don't tell my wife that. She really likes the good ol' U.S. of A.!! She doesn't like my talk of emigrating one day to do that kind of work:)
I wasn't sure how I would take being at the ophanage. I really didn't know what to expect. Would I be overwhelmed? Would I be callous? Would I never want to leave? Would I want to take them all home? I was curiously surprised that I didn't have this emotional desire to take them all home. I walked away comfortable with the idea that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now in my life.
The orphanage was very clean and well-run. The kids were known by their caretakers and loved by them. They remembered little Sneha very well. It is interesting to hear her described as quiet and timid as that is not the description we have read about so many times.
Here is something else I saw at the orphanage that really made me happy.
Kailey holding some of the children.
Justin playing and laughing with some of them.
Elijah not having emotional triggers to his own time in an orphanage but instead clearly identifying himself as part of a family.
My kids were playing with and touching children much of the world doesn't care about. Children much of the world thinks are worthless.
Children a majority of the world wouldn't even touch.
Children many say should just have been killed.
My kids didn't see deformity and become scared My kids didn't see drool and mangled teeth and recoil in horror. My kids saw wonderful creations of God. Children just like themselves but born to a different set of circumstances. My kids embraced them, literally. I am very proud of my kids today.
The experience at St. Johns was simply amazing. The set of circumstances that went into play to lead us to the NICU to see where she had spent her first days and to talk to people who had a direct hand in caring for her makes me shake my head in wonder.
The medical director who first got the ball rolling for us was hilarious. He was one of those naturally funny, engaging, charismatic sort of people that after spending a few minutes with, you just want to spend a whole bunch of time with. He could have ordered people around with his job title, but he didn't do that. He had the knack for creating work for people and making them feel good about barging in on their day. Dr. Sanjiv Lewin was a huge help today. He got us in touch with Dr. Saudamini who was the lady who told us about our Twinkles. Thank you doctors.
Oh yeah, one more thing I forgot to write when I first posted this. The title, History: Reborn has to do with my thoughts leaving St. Johns Hospital after learning all this information about Sneha's history. As I walked away, I was struck by the thought that had we not showed up, had we not been directed to the people to whom we got to speak, this part of her history would have faded into the place where all forgotten thoughts go. Our unannounced arrival and a few key words, triggered memories in people that had been stored in some part of their brain from over four years ago. Those memories, once significant, then fading away, now have become significant once again. Our daughter's history was reborn on this day. The memories now form a past. A past filled with gaps to be sure, but a past vastly greater and more organized than even twelve hours ago.
Going to the orphanage was a dream come true since we first started this process. Other than getting our daughter, the only thing I wanted out of this trip was to visit the orphanage and visit the finding spot. Going to the orphanage also further stoked my desire to one day run an orphanage in another country. But don't tell my wife that. She really likes the good ol' U.S. of A.!! She doesn't like my talk of emigrating one day to do that kind of work:)
I wasn't sure how I would take being at the ophanage. I really didn't know what to expect. Would I be overwhelmed? Would I be callous? Would I never want to leave? Would I want to take them all home? I was curiously surprised that I didn't have this emotional desire to take them all home. I walked away comfortable with the idea that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now in my life.
The orphanage was very clean and well-run. The kids were known by their caretakers and loved by them. They remembered little Sneha very well. It is interesting to hear her described as quiet and timid as that is not the description we have read about so many times.
Here is something else I saw at the orphanage that really made me happy.
Justin playing and laughing with some of them.
Elijah not having emotional triggers to his own time in an orphanage but instead clearly identifying himself as part of a family.
My kids were playing with and touching children much of the world doesn't care about. Children much of the world thinks are worthless.
Children a majority of the world wouldn't even touch.
Children many say should just have been killed.
My kids didn't see deformity and become scared My kids didn't see drool and mangled teeth and recoil in horror. My kids saw wonderful creations of God. Children just like themselves but born to a different set of circumstances. My kids embraced them, literally. I am very proud of my kids today.
The experience at St. Johns was simply amazing. The set of circumstances that went into play to lead us to the NICU to see where she had spent her first days and to talk to people who had a direct hand in caring for her makes me shake my head in wonder.
The medical director who first got the ball rolling for us was hilarious. He was one of those naturally funny, engaging, charismatic sort of people that after spending a few minutes with, you just want to spend a whole bunch of time with. He could have ordered people around with his job title, but he didn't do that. He had the knack for creating work for people and making them feel good about barging in on their day. Dr. Sanjiv Lewin was a huge help today. He got us in touch with Dr. Saudamini who was the lady who told us about our Twinkles. Thank you doctors.
Oh yeah, one more thing I forgot to write when I first posted this. The title, History: Reborn has to do with my thoughts leaving St. Johns Hospital after learning all this information about Sneha's history. As I walked away, I was struck by the thought that had we not showed up, had we not been directed to the people to whom we got to speak, this part of her history would have faded into the place where all forgotten thoughts go. Our unannounced arrival and a few key words, triggered memories in people that had been stored in some part of their brain from over four years ago. Those memories, once significant, then fading away, now have become significant once again. Our daughter's history was reborn on this day. The memories now form a past. A past filled with gaps to be sure, but a past vastly greater and more organized than even twelve hours ago.
Twinkles, the Baby in the Bright Green Blanket
What a day, what a day.
We started this morning working to get out the door in order to visit Swanthana Orphanage and St. John's Medical College. My mother met at my door a little blurry-eyed. She wanted to know if I had a clue when my boys, who are staying in their room, woke for the day. I said no, but that I suspected it was after when I woke at 4:30 am. She snorted and corrected me. Twelve-thirty. AM. Elijah woke up, informed them he was awake and that it was morning, then did not go back to sleep. Oh, boy!
Next, we were faced with an email indicating that Arilyn Sneha has tested positive for TB and is now undergoing treatment (a medication she will have to take for 6-9 months). We do not yet know what this means for her being allowed to immigrate into the United States in a timely manner. Prayers are greatly appreciated on this manner. There is, apparently, an established protocol in a situation like this, but it is fairly new and rather untested. We will learn more tonight when we speak to Holt International.
We left with our driver before 9 am to go visit Swanthana Orphanage where Arilyn Sneha lived for her first 2.5 years of her life.
What a blessing that visit was. We were able to speak extensively with Sister Regina who runs the orphanage. They have beds for 50 and currently care for 38 girls, most of whom are mentally or physically handicapped. They have 12 workers including nurses and physical therapists. The orphanage was clean and wonderfully noisy. Sister Regina shared with us that Swanthana was founded in September 2006 and that Sneha and another little girl named Divya were the first girls there in October 2006. She said that Sneha was perfect, developed on target, and was timid and shy while she was there. The staff was so happy to meet us and know that she is going to be adopted.
Divya
Arilyn Sneha's Crib at Swanthana
Swanthana does so much with so little. While we were there, a woman came and delivered a van full of donated diapers, wipes, food, and other supplies. This woman asked me why we were adopting when we already had a child (she had only seen Elijah at this point.) We corrected her and said we had three children. She was then surprised and wondered why we would adopt at all, much less again. I told her that we believed every orphan should have a family. After the woman left, Sister Regina told us that many people are willing to donate supplies, which is good and helpful, but not many want to donate money, which they also need to pay bills and buy other items. We were blessed to be able to give a small donation from our family and from a friend.
We have Swanthana's email address now and will be able to continue to do what we can to help support our daughter's first home and to share with them pictures of Sneha as she grows. We are so thankful we were able to visit and interact with the girls there. I did ask what would happen to the girls as they age and become adults. Sister Regina simply spread her hands and said, "They will stay here as long as they need to. Where else would they go?"
We left Swanthana and traveled to St. John's Medical College and Hospital. Elijah fell asleep in the car on the way. Deeply asleep. At St. John's, we tried to find where Arilyn Sneha had been left as a newborn. The only information we had was from her initial social history report, "She was found abandoned near the public passage of St. John's Residential Quarters." We began at the Dean's Office, but it was closed for lunch. Rather than wander with us, my mother volunteered to sit in the cooler hallway outside the Dean's Office and hold the sleeping Elijah. The rest of us left to wander a bit and hope to find the right spot.
A gentleman sat near Mom and inquired about why a middle aged white woman was holding a sleeping Chinese boy in India. She explained that her daughter was meeting with the Dean to learn more about an infant abandoned at the Hospital residence four and a half years ago. She explained that her daughter and family were in the process of adopting the little girl and were researching her history so that she could have it when she was older. At about this point, I came out of the Dean's office to explain that the Dean had contacted the Social Services department for us and that we should come back tomorrow to talk to the social worker. The gentleman then spoke up and said, "No-no, we can do better than that," and he started making phone calls.
He started with the NICU, where she spent four days, explaining to them who we were and what we were looking for. He made arrangements for us to go up to the unit and speak to the team on shift who was actually employed there in October 2006. He assured them they had time to meet with us. As he was talking, we were most amused to hear him say, "Well, now that you mention it, I am here with a big gang of white people and not an Indian baby in sight!" He also described Ohio as a small village in the United States. I suspect he has spent some time in the USA, judging by his English. Turns out, this was Dr. Sanjiv Lewin, the head of paediatrics of the hospital. Nice.
He then flagged down a med student and told him to lead us over to the NICU. Once there, we met with a doctor who politely listened to what Greg and I were looking for: people who had worked with Sneha and might know where she had been found. She said that they usually remembered the abandoned infants but could not quite place ours until we told her where she had been found. Then she asked if she had been found in a bright green blanket. We did not know. She said it must be the same baby as the timing was right. She said this baby was so adorable and sweet that they had a stream of people coming by asking if they could just take "The Baby in the Bright Green Blanket" home with them. She had longer hair than a baby would normally have and was just beautiful. She cried a lot but stopped as soon as she was picked up. They called her "Twinkles." The social worker at the hospital found an orphanage for her and transfered her after four days. She was thrilled to learn that "Twinkles" was doing well and was going to be adopted. She then drew a map for us showing us the buildings she had been found near.
We walked quite a ways to those residential quarters and were able to record the location for our daughter to see when she is older. The location was a very busy area and she was found by a nurse on her way to work in the early hours of the morning. She was estimated to only be a few days old. We also met a nurse at the hospital who had cared for Sneha who guessed that her biological mother was a single woman who could not handle the stigma of having a child out of wedlock. That does not go over well in India. That has always been my theory too.
What a blessed day. We were able to accomplish our goals and then some. We had not expected to be able to meet some of our daughter's initial caregivers, but because Elijah decided that 12:30 am is the new 7:00 am and then napped later in the day, we were able to be in the right place at the right time to connect with just the right people. God is so amazing to have perfectly orchestrated the whole circumstance. Praise Him.
We started this morning working to get out the door in order to visit Swanthana Orphanage and St. John's Medical College. My mother met at my door a little blurry-eyed. She wanted to know if I had a clue when my boys, who are staying in their room, woke for the day. I said no, but that I suspected it was after when I woke at 4:30 am. She snorted and corrected me. Twelve-thirty. AM. Elijah woke up, informed them he was awake and that it was morning, then did not go back to sleep. Oh, boy!
Next, we were faced with an email indicating that Arilyn Sneha has tested positive for TB and is now undergoing treatment (a medication she will have to take for 6-9 months). We do not yet know what this means for her being allowed to immigrate into the United States in a timely manner. Prayers are greatly appreciated on this manner. There is, apparently, an established protocol in a situation like this, but it is fairly new and rather untested. We will learn more tonight when we speak to Holt International.
We left with our driver before 9 am to go visit Swanthana Orphanage where Arilyn Sneha lived for her first 2.5 years of her life.
What a blessing that visit was. We were able to speak extensively with Sister Regina who runs the orphanage. They have beds for 50 and currently care for 38 girls, most of whom are mentally or physically handicapped. They have 12 workers including nurses and physical therapists. The orphanage was clean and wonderfully noisy. Sister Regina shared with us that Swanthana was founded in September 2006 and that Sneha and another little girl named Divya were the first girls there in October 2006. She said that Sneha was perfect, developed on target, and was timid and shy while she was there. The staff was so happy to meet us and know that she is going to be adopted.
Swanthana does so much with so little. While we were there, a woman came and delivered a van full of donated diapers, wipes, food, and other supplies. This woman asked me why we were adopting when we already had a child (she had only seen Elijah at this point.) We corrected her and said we had three children. She was then surprised and wondered why we would adopt at all, much less again. I told her that we believed every orphan should have a family. After the woman left, Sister Regina told us that many people are willing to donate supplies, which is good and helpful, but not many want to donate money, which they also need to pay bills and buy other items. We were blessed to be able to give a small donation from our family and from a friend.
We have Swanthana's email address now and will be able to continue to do what we can to help support our daughter's first home and to share with them pictures of Sneha as she grows. We are so thankful we were able to visit and interact with the girls there. I did ask what would happen to the girls as they age and become adults. Sister Regina simply spread her hands and said, "They will stay here as long as they need to. Where else would they go?"
We left Swanthana and traveled to St. John's Medical College and Hospital. Elijah fell asleep in the car on the way. Deeply asleep. At St. John's, we tried to find where Arilyn Sneha had been left as a newborn. The only information we had was from her initial social history report, "She was found abandoned near the public passage of St. John's Residential Quarters." We began at the Dean's Office, but it was closed for lunch. Rather than wander with us, my mother volunteered to sit in the cooler hallway outside the Dean's Office and hold the sleeping Elijah. The rest of us left to wander a bit and hope to find the right spot.
A gentleman sat near Mom and inquired about why a middle aged white woman was holding a sleeping Chinese boy in India. She explained that her daughter was meeting with the Dean to learn more about an infant abandoned at the Hospital residence four and a half years ago. She explained that her daughter and family were in the process of adopting the little girl and were researching her history so that she could have it when she was older. At about this point, I came out of the Dean's office to explain that the Dean had contacted the Social Services department for us and that we should come back tomorrow to talk to the social worker. The gentleman then spoke up and said, "No-no, we can do better than that," and he started making phone calls.
He started with the NICU, where she spent four days, explaining to them who we were and what we were looking for. He made arrangements for us to go up to the unit and speak to the team on shift who was actually employed there in October 2006. He assured them they had time to meet with us. As he was talking, we were most amused to hear him say, "Well, now that you mention it, I am here with a big gang of white people and not an Indian baby in sight!" He also described Ohio as a small village in the United States. I suspect he has spent some time in the USA, judging by his English. Turns out, this was Dr. Sanjiv Lewin, the head of paediatrics of the hospital. Nice.
He then flagged down a med student and told him to lead us over to the NICU. Once there, we met with a doctor who politely listened to what Greg and I were looking for: people who had worked with Sneha and might know where she had been found. She said that they usually remembered the abandoned infants but could not quite place ours until we told her where she had been found. Then she asked if she had been found in a bright green blanket. We did not know. She said it must be the same baby as the timing was right. She said this baby was so adorable and sweet that they had a stream of people coming by asking if they could just take "The Baby in the Bright Green Blanket" home with them. She had longer hair than a baby would normally have and was just beautiful. She cried a lot but stopped as soon as she was picked up. They called her "Twinkles." The social worker at the hospital found an orphanage for her and transfered her after four days. She was thrilled to learn that "Twinkles" was doing well and was going to be adopted. She then drew a map for us showing us the buildings she had been found near.
We walked quite a ways to those residential quarters and were able to record the location for our daughter to see when she is older. The location was a very busy area and she was found by a nurse on her way to work in the early hours of the morning. She was estimated to only be a few days old. We also met a nurse at the hospital who had cared for Sneha who guessed that her biological mother was a single woman who could not handle the stigma of having a child out of wedlock. That does not go over well in India. That has always been my theory too.
What a blessed day. We were able to accomplish our goals and then some. We had not expected to be able to meet some of our daughter's initial caregivers, but because Elijah decided that 12:30 am is the new 7:00 am and then napped later in the day, we were able to be in the right place at the right time to connect with just the right people. God is so amazing to have perfectly orchestrated the whole circumstance. Praise Him.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Shopping and Sightseeing
I figure I mind as well get caught up in recording the trip, because it is only going to pick up speed from here! Today we tried not to overdo it. We know we have limited time to shop and see what we want to see since once we get little Miss Arilyn Sneha, we will decidedly have to curtail extra curriculars. We hired a driver to take us around for the week (reportedly the safest way to go in India.) He is great. He told us to call him Ali (which gave us a clue for his religious leanings). We told him the kinds of things we wanted to buy and he took us to some terrific stores. 
In China, there is a whole island that has basically been set up to meet the needs of American adopting children there. You can buy nearly any souvenirs you want while on an evening stroll. India only has about 400 US adoption annually and about 10% of those are couples not of Indian origin, so there is nothing established in the process or in traditions (no Red Couch for pictures :) ) We knew we wanted to pick up some Indian clothes, some carvings, and other handmade items to represent her culture of origin. The items are way more expensive here than they are in China, but still beautiful. We will not be purchasing as much and are looking for the best to choose.
The kids did a great job hanging around in stores and checking things out. They are fascinated by the scenes on the street, the motorcycles, the crowding of the vehicles, the lack of lanes, and all the honking horns. Kailey especially enjoyed today. She loves to shop and keeps saying how much she loves visiting foreign countries.
We ended up kind of skipping breakfast and ate lunch at a coffee shop that blended India cuisine with sandwiches. Pretty good. Dinner, we ate ate the hotel. Ended up with sandwiches again as they don't actually start dinner service until 7 pm. That must be the British influence. No Tea time, but a late dinner. We wanted the kids in bed long before a 7 pm dinner would have allowed, so sandwiches it was.
Tomorrow is a history recording day. We are going to visit Swanthana Orphanage, where she spent her first 2.5 years. It houses around 30 mentally and physically challenged girls who were abandoned. That will be an interesting experience for all, but especially for the children who have never seen anything like it before. Then again, I haven't either. After our visit to Swanthana, we will go to St. John's Medical College to see if we can document photographically where she was found as a newborn. I also hope to find people on staff who may have been there when she was hospitalized to gain more information of her past.
It will not be an easy day, but oh, so important to record her history while we can.
In China, there is a whole island that has basically been set up to meet the needs of American adopting children there. You can buy nearly any souvenirs you want while on an evening stroll. India only has about 400 US adoption annually and about 10% of those are couples not of Indian origin, so there is nothing established in the process or in traditions (no Red Couch for pictures :) ) We knew we wanted to pick up some Indian clothes, some carvings, and other handmade items to represent her culture of origin. The items are way more expensive here than they are in China, but still beautiful. We will not be purchasing as much and are looking for the best to choose.
The kids did a great job hanging around in stores and checking things out. They are fascinated by the scenes on the street, the motorcycles, the crowding of the vehicles, the lack of lanes, and all the honking horns. Kailey especially enjoyed today. She loves to shop and keeps saying how much she loves visiting foreign countries.
We ended up kind of skipping breakfast and ate lunch at a coffee shop that blended India cuisine with sandwiches. Pretty good. Dinner, we ate ate the hotel. Ended up with sandwiches again as they don't actually start dinner service until 7 pm. That must be the British influence. No Tea time, but a late dinner. We wanted the kids in bed long before a 7 pm dinner would have allowed, so sandwiches it was.
Tomorrow is a history recording day. We are going to visit Swanthana Orphanage, where she spent her first 2.5 years. It houses around 30 mentally and physically challenged girls who were abandoned. That will be an interesting experience for all, but especially for the children who have never seen anything like it before. Then again, I haven't either. After our visit to Swanthana, we will go to St. John's Medical College to see if we can document photographically where she was found as a newborn. I also hope to find people on staff who may have been there when she was hospitalized to gain more information of her past.
It will not be an easy day, but oh, so important to record her history while we can.
The Arduous Journey
I don't know if this trip was actually longer than the trip to China, or I am just older, or if traveling with 3 children is harder, or if I am just older. Man, this has been hard.
We arrived at the Cincinnati airport a couple of hours ahead of time and began the check in progress. It was rather unsettling to have the first words spoken to us by airport personnel to be, "These three passports are invalid." What? You've got to be kidding me! Turns out that we had not had the kids sign their passports yet, so they were not valid yet. Kailey and Justin had to sign theirs, but Elijah was fine not having his signed. After my heart started beating again, we were able to successfully check our luggage all the way through to Bangalore. We passed through security with barely a hitch, then got to go sit in the gate for an hour and a half.
The flight to Dulles was blissfully short in a plane only 3 seats wide. I think the Wright flyer was larger than that plane. We had been a little concerned about how Elijah would handle these flights, but, much to the delight of the business travelers around us, he just giggled during take off. Hysterically. With glee. It was great fun.
We landed in Washington DC and deplaned to find my parents waiting for us at the gate. We hurried over to the next gate on our itinerary just in time to board the next plane. This United flight was pretty good. We had individual screens in our seat backs and our choice of movies and tv shows to watch. Very nice. This leg of the trip to Frankfurt was 7.5 hours long. The kids did a great job. Kailey and Justin entertained themselves without a problem. Elijah watched Tangled, ate dinner, then slept for 4 hours (with a little pharmacological assistance.)
We landed in Frankfurt and deplaned only to have to walk across the tarmac to load a very crowded bus to get to a gate. We then wandered in the Frankfurt airport for five hours, looking for food and for our next gate. We ate some very expensive Burger King nuggets, rode the shuttle train a couple of times, and dozed at the gate.
Getting through security was interesting in Frankfurt. We got to keep our shoes on, but ended up in the back office with a stern looking security officer who wiped our portable DVD players down, checking for explosive residue. I guess we should have pulled those out of the suitcase to send through the scanners.
The flight from Frankfurt to Bangalore was a grueling 8 hours and 50 minutes. The seats were hard and uncomfortable. There were only 4 tvs for the cabin. The food was Indian/Asian, spicy and unfamiliar. The movie they showed was "Burlesque." How is that even remotely family friendly? I actually watched it. They did not edit out the language either, and nothing could be done to help the visuals. I was thankful Justin, in particular, slept through a good chunk of it, then engrossed himself with his Gameboy. They also showed two Bollywood movies with English subtitles; cheesy, but acceptable. At one point, I had hoped we were nearly there and was dismayed to learn we still had 4 hours left. I nearly cried. It was a little disconcerting to figure out we were flying over Iran but made it through without even a warning shot. ;)
The children were amazing the entire trip. No complaints. No arguments. No meltdowns. No problems. Just wonderfully behaved, self entertaining children. Wow. We are so impressed.
Upon arrival in Bangalore, we worked our way through security (did we really need to pass through security to get out of the airport after having gone through it twice to get that far?), baggage claim, and customs. We have to keep filling out forms and signing slips of paper and handing over our passports to be allowed into the country. Good thing none of us has even a drop of Pakistani blood in us. We would never have gotten through.
We did not have our requested cars from the hotel waiting for us, so we secured two taxis for the 40 minute trip to the Jayamahal Palace. After arriving, we had to work out paying the cabbie (in Rupee, which we had not exchanged yet), get rooms with enough beds in them, and get settled. It was 3 am India time before Greg and I crawled into bed. And the good news is, we slept solidly for four whole hours before neither of us could sleep any longer and ended up getting up for the day. Man. I am tired.
I may be getting old, but that was a heck of a long trip.
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