Thursday, April 21, 2011

Wrapping Things Up

We had the same problem when we returned home after our first adoption journey: finishing the blog. This time has been more challenging with physical illness and four children instead of three, but it is time to record the end of the trip.

We left New Delhi in a rush early in the morning of Friday, April 8. We had two cars arrive at the hotel to take us and our luggage the ten minutes to the airport. We were able to waive off all of the porters this time and did not have to tip unnecessarily :) The long journey was one security checkpoint after another, followed by amazingly long sits on airplanes.

We really have struggled to heal following the trip. Justin was acutely ill the night before going into the trip, so we medicated him in order to help him travel comfortably. He is just now, a week and a half later, considering himself healed. The rest of us are also healed, but it took over a week to get there. Delhi Belly is miserable. Priobiotics are a wonderful thing :) Interestingly, Elijah has never had any problems. Maybe he still has residual immunities from his early childhood in China.

Behaviorally, the children did beautifully. We had no conflicts or problems on the way home to speak of. They watched movies, played games, worked on sticker books, and read (those that can, of course.) Oh, and slept a little. Very little.

We were met at the airport by a small group of friends. What a blessing to see familiar faces. We gathered our luggage and loaded into the van. I had been preparing Arilyn Sneha for a carseat and a five point harness, but she still thought I was nuts to buckle her in like that. After four years of sitting free in a van or riding on the back of a motorcycle, it would seem strange to be restrained like that, I am sure. About halfway home, Justin noticed that the crack that has been across the windshield for 5 years is not there anymore! Some anonymous friend(s) saw fit to replace our windshield in our absence. Thank you, whoever did that!

We were delivered home around 1:30 am and headed off to bed after unloading the van and dumping in the front hall. Friends had been kind enough to be sure that we had milk, fresh fruits and veggies, bread, and other essentials (including Vitamin Water) to help us get through the first few days without having to venture out to the store.

We have been keeping pretty close to home, slowing expanding her world. She has been to the park and to some stores now. I try to keep it to one outing a day at most. She was very impressed with Costco :) She attended church with us on Sunday and was rather overwhelmed with that experience. Fortunately, she is turning to us when she is stressed and is not retreating inwardly nearly as often.

We are working to simultaneously build a loving relationship with Arilyn Sneha, set appropriate boundaries (which provide safety and trust), and picking our battles carefully. We are all adjusting to our new roles and places in the family; some a little more loudly than others! Fortunately, jet lag has passed, Delhi Belly has passed, and we are starting to get our feet back underneath us a little more each day.

We have also been able to find treatment for her TB here. She is not contagious at all and will complete nine months of antibiotics for suspected latent TB, even though she is asymptomatic on all accounts except for the positive skin tests.

We now set off firmly on the path to truly become a family of six. Arilyn Sneha is everything they said she was: sweet, affectionate, smart, and stubborn. We are blessed to be her parents and look forward to the new adventures she will bring to our family. We thank you for your prayers as we have navigated the challenges to reach this point in our adoption journey. We will be able to finalize this adoption in October after she has been home for six months and eagerly anticipate that day. We covet your continued prayers as we continue to adjust and work towards a secure attachment and a deep love.

Saturday, April 09, 2011

Long journey home

After a long and mostly uneventful journey home, we have made it back safely and with joy. Justin got even more sick in the night leading up to us leaving at 6:20am but somehow rallied and was quite a trooper through endless security checks and miles of terminals to walk. We were met at the airport by a group of people welcoming us back home. That was awfully nice. Sneha is doing great and is happily exploring her new home. We are all very tired and hope to somehow put together a long night of sleep. For all who have prayed and followed our journey, one part has ended and a new one has begun. We will post some additional follow-up soon.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Limping home

Today was a day of nothing planned. We were not able to leave today when we made the plane tickets because it is not guaranteed that visas can be processed in one day. We would have been in a world of hurt if we had scheduled to leave today and then ran into even a small visa delay. Thus, we did nothing of substance today other than hang around the hotel and try to get rested up for our trip.

Unfortunately, it didn't really work. Maren continues to have stomach problems. She has not gotten sick, but her stomach keeps cramping painfully. Kailey rallied a bit in the day and did go shopping with Nana and Papa for about two hours but overdid herself. She remained in bed for the rest of the day. Justin has not left bed all day long and only got worse as the day wore on. He was unable to eat any dinner and in fact was not able to even get himself down to the restaurant. He was able to take in some water, some pineapple juice and a bit of toast, but then promptly deposited it all back into another Ziploc bag. The rest of us have embattled lungs from the pollution and all of us are coughing dry, unproductive coughs.

We have to wake up at about 5am to get to the airport in time for our 8:45 am flight. This will be the first test of all the paperwork done to bring Sneha home. Hopefully it does not cause any problems. India does not adopt out anywhere close to the same number of children as does China so hopefully the airport staff don't get overly cautious.

We are all very much looking forward to arriving back home. We have had several conversations today amongst us about the things we are looking forward to most. In no particular order, these things include:
1. familiar food
2. a constant supply of clean drinking water
3. our home
4. family not with us
5. our friends
6. our church
7. wearing shorts when it is warm
8. ability to go somewhere without having to call a hired driver
9. a regular routine
10. not constantly wondering how much this will cost or if we have to tip
11. simply feeling normal
12. not only going somewhere without hiring a driver, but simply the act of driving
13. hearing our language without a thick accent
14. being able to open our mouths while showering
15. constant regulated temperature in the shower; no temperature drops and spikes
16. constant regulated temperature in the room; no temperature spikes
17. ice cream in decent supply

We hope to arrive about midnight tomorrow night. I have no concept how we will feel or what to expect upon arriving home. I am hoping after a brief tour of the house to show Sneha her new home, that we can all just crash for about 10 hours. I may be dreaming, but it is a worthwhile dream. Here we come good old U. S. of A. Greatest country in the world. We long for your shores.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Random pictures from recent days

Humble beginnings. Sneha's crib on the left with a girl on the right that came to the orphanage at nearly the same time she did. So hard to know that Sneha now has a loving family while this little one still is in the orphanage with so many others. I wish every child had a loving home.


Because everyone needs to be loved. Who was touched more?


Thank you St. Johns for caring for our little one in those first crucial days.


Because boys will still be boys and catch creepy crawly things.


Oh, the wonder of it all. Elijah is looking out a low window overlooking the part of the airport tarmac before one of our flights to India.


Wild dogs are like wild cows around here. They are everywhere. Thankfully they are not aggressive.


More boys being boys.


Two sisters are captured in an early moment of bonding while taking a picture of themselves. Precious.


The India Gate. Famous. No clue why.


You look Mahhhvelous!


One thing that was not clear from the other posting with this picture is that Justin was feeling miserable himself. Less than two hours later, he was losing his lunch into a Ziploc bag. A dad couldn't ask for any more than the love being shown here as Justin tries to cool Elijah down.


Nine. Count them. Nine lanes of traffic our driver repeatedly had to cross laterally in order to reach our hotel. There was one time we crossed it during rush hour and he could only stick the nose of his car out in front of other cars and hope they slowed to let him through. It should be noted that this picture was taken out of the SIDE windows, not the back window. Crazy.


Sun shades and phone chargers for your car. Where else would you go to shop?


Cool. What is it?


Uh dude. Wrong lane.


Checking for explosives under our car. This happened to be at our hotel but has also happened at several different shopping locations. Hmmmmm, does this make me feel safe? Or nervous?


If you look in the background, you can see this huge (like 6 story huge) god-thing. It reminds me of Old Testament, Book of Daniel, type days.


Slacker. Can't you carry a bit more? I can see over the top of your bike.


Hey dude. I saw your buddy back on the 409. Yeah, the dude that was on a bicycle. In the middle of the highway. Yeah, that's him. Just like you. Think maybe you want to move out of the way of traffic? Nah? OK. Happy trails.


Just liked the name.


And you felt silly picking your date up for prom in a Ford Fiesta.


It is scary how quickly one learns to completely overlook utter poverty. These types of homes are everywhere. After a few short days, it hardly registers sometimes on my compassion meter. How sad.

More fun sign pictures

Just because my wife digs childbirth stuff.


You're going to clean out my kidney stones and can't clean up your lot? I don't think so.


Heh heh, nice drawing!


Yeah, sure. No problem. Ummmmm, for what?

Firsts

Here is a list of some first time experiences for Arilyn Sneha:

1. Drying her hands with paper towels. Clearly she had never seen this before and thought it strange.

2. Drinking soda (I know, I know, but we ordered lemonade and they brought us Sprite. What can you really expect for communication at a Chinese restaurant in India?) She initially rejected it, "Don't want." I encouraged her to try it saying it was good. She reluctantly took one sip. Pondered a brief moment, then grabbed the bottle and began drinking deeply with a smile in her eyes.

3. Riding on an escalator. She had clearly never seen one before, much less ridden on one before we got to the airport.

4. Flying in an airplane. She was well prepared for the experience and really enjoyed the trip from Bangalore to New Delhi, which is a good thing as she has 3 more plane rides ahead of her: 8 hrs 15 mins, 9 hrs 40 mins, and 1 hr 8 mins. Good times ahead!

5. Riding in an elevator. She doesn't understand the pleasure of pushing buttons on an elevator. The one here at the hotel is only one flight and is glassed in looking outside. What fun.

6. Wearing socks?!? She had never seen them before, did not know what they were called, does not know how to put them on, and loves them. Very funny.

7. Knocking on doors. I told her to knock on one of the doors, and she had no clue what I meant. I showed her, then I had to show her again the next time. I have no idea what that means for where she came from....

8. Eating with a fork. Asked me what it was called, then needed instructions and a demonstration on proper usage.

9. Using hair conditioner. Tanisha and Jenny, I will require advice from you on how to help soften her hair. It is rough and prickly on the ends, to describe it at all.

10. Knowing the love of her daddy and mommy. And that is the best first of all :)

Success!

We passed the important test today. We returned to the medical center to pick up her medical report that we would need for the consulate. When we arrived, we learned that she would have to have yet another chest x-ray (this makes three in the past two weeks). They were very efficient and got us out of there quite quickly. We met again with the same doctor and learned that he came in early to meet with us today since that second x-ray was needed. He is such a gentle compassionate man. We were thankful to have him as her doctor however briefly he served in that capacity. From there, we went to the consulate to get her visa processed. It went off without a hitch. She was given a visa with no special waiver needed. We still plan to consult with a pulmonary specialist once we arrive back in the states, but at least she is allowed to come in the original time frame.

Upon return to the hotel, we found that Kailey and Justin had not really moved from their beds nor did they have the energy to do so. Carl also was in bed again feeling pretty miserable. The short nap seemed to rally him and he and I went out doing some more roaming of the town. We took a driver to a handicraft area. The goods there were expensive but of great quality. It was very good craftsmanship. We were in one shop that was filled with all sorts of handmade gods. Honestly, it was a modern day setting of what the apostle Paul experienced so many years ago. The owner was trying to sell me a particular elephant and at first insisted that elephants would make me lucky. He must have seen the smirk on my face because then he insisted "Elephant is love". I happen to think love comes from a different source. Carl later told the man that we are followers of Jesus. And, as you might suspect, he very quickly produced a crucifix.

On the way home, Carl asked our driver to stop at a place to buy batteries. I happened to notice a small pastry shop a few doors down. I jumped out of the car and ran in to see what might look good (and edible). My eyes quickly fell on the deepest, darkest chocolate cake I have ever seen. I may get all kinds of sick eating it, but as today is my birthday, and it was the first worthwhile (hopefully) source of chocolate I have seen, I had to get it. I haven't eaten it yet, and it may turn into five bucks and two days on the pot, but it looks awfully good!

The most special part of today, and the best birthday present I could get, is that at one point today, Sneha threw her arms around my neck, gave me a big squeeze, and whispered "I love you daddy" into my ear! It was completely unprovoked, and I had not initiated such an event in any way. Needless to say, I was thrilled. It was also pretty cool because last night she gave us her first real test of our dedication to her. She spent close to two hours at bedtime doing her level best to resist any direction given to her. We won that battle, but I wasn't sure how she was going to react today. There has been no negative repercussions at all.

We have found a Pizza Hut that will deliver here. Who knows what it will taste like, but that will be my birthday dinner tonight. Not everyone in my party agrees, but at this point, bad American food is much more appealing to me than good Indian food. We have some missionaries from our church that have been in Bolivia for more than a year. The food situation has given me a greater appreciation for what they are doing.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Splitting the Pot

Well, I guess there is more than one loser in this round of who gets Delhi Belly first. As Maren noted, Kailey was the big loser this morning. I feel horrible for her as she has talked about visiting the Taj Mahal for several years. She is understandably upset about missing it. We were going to try and shoot for Thursday to go, but then eight hours later, Justin lost his lunch. Thankfully we had a gallon-sized Ziploc bag in the car, and thankfully the integrity of the bag had not been compromised. Kailey is still down. Justin is still down. Maren and I both just got back from dinner and at about the same time began to ask each other how the other felt. Neither one of us wants to move very much though so far, dinner has only been a one-way street. If one or both of us gets this, tomorrow is going to be miserable. We have to be back at the Med Center in the morning, and then we have to travel to the US Consulate to apply for her Visa. Hopefully, the two younger kids do not get this as that would really not be much fun at all.

The time at the zoo today turned out to be pretty miserable. As noted, Justin was working on becoming ill so he had a lousy time. Elijah was just a big grumpy-head. I followed his lead and became a big grumpy-head myself. Maren had to tote Sneha around all over the place so she was pretty wiped out. Thankfully, Sneha and Carl seemed to have a nice time. Unlike US zoos where they work hard to separate the animals from the people, this zoo allowed some of the animals to interact with the guests freely. One macaque monkey decided the ice cream cone a lady was eating looked might tasty and began to attack her for it. She screamed and threw it down. Then the monkey went after a child. Another man grabbed the cone and threw it toward the monkey who thankfully took the bait and stopped chasing the people. Carl got most of it on video. I can almost hear David Letterman saying something like, "Heeeeyyy kids. Give the monkey some of that ice cream."










Keeping It Loose: A Change of Plans

When Kailey was in sixth grade and we studied the Middle Ages in history, she declared that it was her goal in life to visit the Taj Mahal. We had everything arranged: the plan was for a hired car to pick us up at 6 am to travel the four hours to visit this great symbol of India. Mom and I got up at 5:15 to get ready. Kailey did not get up right off, and said her tummy hurt. She then ran to the bathroom. Uh,oh. She has continued to be ill all morning.

The new plan is to leave Nana here with Kailey while Greg, Dad and I take the rest of the children to the National Zoo of India. We will try for the Taj Mahal again on Thursday. If Kailey cannot go,no one will go.

Please lift her up and pray this passes quickly and that no one else gets it.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Off to the Doctor

Greg and I took Arilyn Sneha to the Max Medcentre today. Now, when we adopted from China, we were met in Guangzhou by a guide who then took us everywhere we needed to go. She knew when and where our appointments were, what we needed to accomplish at each step of the way, and even took us to some fun places too. She was there to translate for us, to be sure we knew what was going on and to be sure we were understood. I understand that a portion of that was due to the fact that China has a history for not allowing foreigners to wander China unaccompanied, but it was a huge blessing. With this adoption, we are pretty much on our own. There is a greeter here connected with Holt, but we have not seen hide nor hair of this person.

We used the hired driver Holt arranged for us (much to the dismay of the hotel who did not get a cut) and traveled to the Medcentre. Holt had expressed some concern over the fact we were staying near the airport rather than in downtown Delhi, further from our appointments. It only took us 20 minutes to get to the Medcentre from Hotel City Park-Airport. When we arrived, we took a number and waited at reception, only to be directed downstairs to the immigration office. Upon arrival, we found another Holt family waiting, and then were joined by another Holt family. You'd think that with 3 families in the same place, there would be someone with a clue helping.

After filling out paperwork, we were sent to wait in the cafeteria, then up to wait outside the paediatrician's office. Directions were difficult to understand, but we eventually found our way there. We then got to see the paediatrician who asked to see her records and discussed the TB test results with us. He said they would normally not use the former positive tests, but since she has two very visible marks on her arm still healing from two tests in two weeks, he decided to skip testing her again. Had he repeated the test, we would have waited until Wednesday to have it read, then gotten chest Xrays done, then gotten the medical certificate for her visa to the USA. Instead, we received Xray orders to be done today. Before we went to Xray, she had to receive two shots (who vaccinates for flu in April? But the CDC says she had to have that and varicella to enter the USA) which actually made her cry. She hadn't really cried yet, but that did it. I was able to comfort her, then she shut down and went to sleep while we searched for the Xray room. Poor thing. We will receive the report and the medical certificate on Wednesday morning before we head over to the US Embassy.
Enjoying her first soda at lunch today. We ordered lemonade but received this. She loved it :)

Since we had no clue what we were really doing and are still rather tired, we headed over to the US Embassy at this point. We thought we were supposed to drop off some paperwork to begin the process for her visa today, especially with the TB test complication. Turns out that we were just wasting time. Communication is difficult, so we hope that we really did not have to turn anything in.

We returned to the hotel and found the rest of the family just hanging out. Well, all except for my father who had gone out to explore. There is a subway right by the hotel, so he went to see where it went. Turns out, it is just a tunnel to get to the other side of the road. He was so disappointed. I spent my afternoon washing clothes in the sink and hanging them to dry in the bathroom. Do I know how to have a good time or what?
Sing together in the car

It is such a blessing getting to know Arilyn Sneha. She has such a sweet, affectionate personality. She nearly always has a twinkle in her eye. She knows so many songs that we know and sings all the time. She knows "Jesus Loves Me," "Who's the King of the Jungle," "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," "If I Were a Butterfly," and other songs just bubble out of her all day long. Fortunately, "Lord's Army" has fallen by the wayside. She is still working hard to hold it all together, but we know a major break down (break through?) has to come at some point. What a blessing we get to let her know that we will love her through it.

Tomorrow the ladies are headed out to the Taj Mahal. The guys have decided that a tomb is not worth a four hour one way trip to see, no matter how grand. They are going to check out more of Delhi. More tomorrow!

Random Thoughts, Part III

1. The guys who clean the walkways every day with little short brooms should invest either in an extra 24 inches of broom handle or in a leaf blower.
2. My first impressions of Delhi are not good. We have encountered many very self-centered people with no respect for others.
3. People who grab my bags without my permission to take them literally about 8 feet and then refuse to close the taxi cab door until you pay them need to rethink things a bit.
4. I thought checking my boarding pass at the gate to enter the plane made sense. I thought that checking my boarding pass again by a different person literally three steps later was pretty stupid. I am certain that checking my boarding pass AS I EXIT THE PLANE is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I have ever encountered. I guess I could have gotten on the plane mid-flight. Don't others do that?
5. I like spicy foods.
6. I am sick and tired of spices in my food.
7. Think carefully now. If you ordered a grilled chicken sandwich, what would you expect to get?
8. If you thought a piece of grilled chicken on some sort of bread, you would be quite wrong.
9. How does chicken salad smeared between two pieces of bread that has sat on the grill long enough to leave grill marks count as a grilled chicken sandwich?
10. My family currently resembles a self-sustaining tornado. The only difference is that instead of sounding like a train coming at you, we sound like a train full of kids coming at you.
11. Since writing #2 above, we are on second day in Delhi.
12. I have just about had it with snooty people.
13. Bangalore is older, more run down, filled with lots more trash...and is somehow much more pleasant.
14. I am looking forward to price stickers being on the goods I buy once again.
15. I will try to state this delicately. Sensitive eyes (or those with good imaginations) should stop reading now. Don't say I didn't warn you. You know that place where you feel like you need to, um...break the sound barrier shall we say, and then just at the last possible moment you have a terrifying thought that maybe there is more to this barrier than sound and so you throw on the brakes as fast as you possibly can which causes you to do some damage to internal organs but damage to internal organs is so much better than what might happen if in fact you really needed to do more than break the sound barrier? Living there.

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

(g.r.)
One thing I wish I had done in China that I am doing now is to take pictures of some funny or unusual signs. Unfortunately, many of the signs go by too quickly for me to take but here are a few of the humorous ones.

Hopefully this can be seen. It cracked me and the kids up for several days. This picture was in the Frankfurt, Germany airport. It isn't just a Whopper. It DER WHOPPER! I felt like I entered Hogan's Heroes spoof.


Defecation, however, is totally acceptable.
I wish that this sign didn't have to be posted, but sadly, it really did. Lots of, shall we say, watering of the local plants took place. Carl and I saw one wall that could only have been explained as a local pit stop as it was wet for about 18 inches from the wall....for a length of wall about 60 feet. Ugh.


They really should have spent their money more wisely other than putting up completely ignored signage.


That's OK. I'll stay back here.


Ummmmmmm......Huh?


Dang. Not here either? But I really gotta go.


No cigs near kids. Wait a minute. This sign actually makes sense.


Pizza in a cone? Brilliant or disgusting? My jury is still out.

Therefore, God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of the Father.
Phillipians 2:9-11

Sunday, April 03, 2011

First to Delhi, then to America

I keep hearing this from Arilyn Sneha. She was so well prepared that she knew she would go very fast on a plane and where she was going. So, first to Delhi. We left the hotel in Bangalore at 6:15 am to make our 8:45 am flight to New Delhi. Soooo early. I was up before the alarm again. I cannot wait to put together more than 6 hours of sleep a day....

Arilyn Sneha did great on the plane. She was obviously stressed in the airport waiting to get on the plane. She expresses her stress by snuggling close, putting her head down, and shutting down. She takes at least one nap a day, but it is not because she is tired, it is to avoid and deal with whatever is going on. She woke up and board the the bus to the plane. Hmmmm. We were first herded onto a bus, driven across the tarmac, then we climbed the steps up to the plane. Okay. I guess that works too, but it seems so 1950's. She excitedly watched take off, then went to sleep for the next 2 hours and woke again after we had landed.

We went to the mall near our hotel (which doesn't have a pool, much to everyone's disappointment) to buy her new shoes. She is very happily the owner of a pair of sparkly light blue tennis shoes and a cute pair of pink sandals that actually fit.

She has been generally pleasant and cheerful all day today. Breakfast was Mini Ritz Peanut Butter sandwiches and some croissant later. Lunch and dinner were scrambled eggs :) That pretty much rounded out our day. We finished dinner, then came back to the room to put the kids to bed. Greg is already there and I am on my way shortly. I know that it is not even 9:30 pm here, but maybe if I go to bed now, I can get a decent night's sleep before 5 am when I have been waking up. Now, this hotel is much more quiet than the last one. The World Cup of Cricket is over, so I do not expect any explosions tonight and we are not sitting in the middle of a jungle so there should not be a cacophony of birds beginning at 4 am to wake me.

Tomorrow is her medical appointment in the morning with a stop to the US Embassy to drop off paperwork before her Embassy appointment on Wednesday. She will receive all the normal tests plus a chest Xray due to the positive TB test she had. I am hoping that the doctors here (this being India where reportedly all babies receive this vaccine and test positive to TB all of their lives) recognize that the vaccination she received as a newborn for TB is what has caused her to test positive and is able to help us with the medical reports for her visa.

Here's praying that appointments tomorrow run smoothly and are not too traumatic. Thank you for continuing to lift us up in prayer. Now is when the real fun begins as we start the technical half of the trip. Good night.