ABAB Pattern, at least so far...

Over thirteen and a half years ago, Greg and I were blessed with a beautiful baby daughter. She was a fussy little thing, only we did not realize the extent of her fussiness for many months when I actually woke up enough to be able to observe some of my friend's children and realized that they could actually set their babies down occasionally without initiating a huge uproar. I also noticed that both parents were actually allowed to hold the baby, while Kailey would only accept me. I mentioned to my mother that I thought Kailey might actually be a fussy baby, and she was surprised that I had just figured that out. Eleven and a half years ago, our next baby joined us and was a much more easy going personality.

Four and a half years ago, a very scared Elijah was placed into our arms, traumatized and terrified. There was no transition time; the nannies from his orphanage basically handed him to us and walked away. We had expected a quiet room, a transition time, an opportunity to talk with his caregivers to learn his routine, habits, and preferences. We were in a room with eight other families also meeting their new children and no time to interact with those he knew. The circumstances of that exchange, we believe, continue to affect him today. I described it then as having a newborn, since we did not know anything about his habits, but with a lot more attitude since he was nearly 22 months old. In the month following him joining our family, he would only let Greg hold him and rejected everyone else.

This morning, we drove to Vathsayla Charitable Trust, the orphanage who oversaw the care of Arilyn Sneha. We were directed to the conference room on the top floor and met with Mary Paul, the director of VCT. She welcomed us and introduced us to some of the staff, including the social worker. We were assured that they had been preparing Arilyn Sneha for her adoption. She had received the pictures of us as soon as they had received them, over a year ago. The children observe other children's new families coming to the center to meet them and attend the good-bye parties they throw. They attend group sessions where they talk about being adopted, the trip involved, the transitions to expect, and all that is involved.

Someone peeked out into the outer office and said that Sneha was on her way in. Oh, did my heart start to pound. How would she react? Would we have another scared, traumatized child on our hands? She came bouncing into the room and said, "Hello." She is even more beautiful than her pictures. She is engaging, sweet, and so fun. She looked at the bulletin board of all the children who have been cared for by the orphanage and telling us their names. We began to take pictures of the photos to help her remember these children. She then asked for the camera and began taking pictures of the pictures and other things in the room also.

We had the blessing of also meeting another child at VCT whose adopting mother had sent some items to us to deliver. Oh, this child is beautiful! We were able to take some pictures for her waiting family after we delivered the photo book and the doll.

We also were able to meet Arilyn Sneha's foster mother and ask her questions about her routine, her habits, and her preferences. Wonderful. Just what we wanted. It is good to know that she speak and understands English, Tamil, and Kanada; and that Tamil is her best language. Wow. Four and a half years old and speaks three languages. Too bad she will lose two of them and there is nothing we can do about that. We know her bedtimes and her favorite foods. So incredibly helpful.

We were then taken on a tour of the facility. We were taken into the nursery, after we removed our shoes. They have eight babies currently, including a preemie and a baby with a serious birth defect. They showed us the medical clinic where they have nurses on staff 24 hours a day and doctors a few times a week. What a wonderful facility they have.

On the bottom floor, they have their informal school. The children were lined up in chairs waiting for our visit. Sneha introduced us to her friends and then they allowed us to create mass chaos by passing out eight packages of Silly Bandz. They likely won't be thanking us Monday. Following the tour, we were taken back upstairs to the conference room where we continued to get to know our new daughter. She loves to color and has a great English vocabulary.

In our meeting with the director, she shared with us that Arilyn Sneha tested positive for TB because she received the BCG vaccination at birth. She will always test positive, and is now receiving unnecessary medication in order to get her visa. We will likely have to complete the treatment even though she cannot have TB since she was vaccinated as a newborn. Oh, joy. Whatever, I guess. When we return home, we plan to take her to a pulmonary specialist in Cincinnati who specializes in TB for a consult. Maybe he can confirm whether or not the treatment is necessary and help us to convince the CDC to let us stop the treatment if that is appropriate.

We ate a delicious lunch with the children and were able to meet with two Believers who come in every Wednesday to share Jesus with the children during Bible time. They were a blessing to speak with. One is from Holland and the other is from Peoria, Illinois. Both now live in India, teach, and volunteer in several places. They had been praying for us, the adoption process, and that Sneha would be placed in a home with Godly parents. Wow. What a blessing to learn that people who know and love her had been praying for us for two years.

VCT threw a party for Sneha, serving cake and cookies, and having the children sing for us. The children have been taught to praise Jesus through song. Sneha sings "Lord's Army" pretty much non-stop. All day. Non-stop. Fortunately, it is still cute. That may change. I'll keep you posted. Back on topic, they asked Greg and I to speak to the group, so we thanked them for their loving care of Sneha. Greg led them in singing "Deep and Wide." Then when they had more time to fill, he carried on with "Father Abraham" and "Hello, My Name Is Joe." What a hoot.

Sneha was able to say good-bye to her friends, then we gathered her things to leave. The staff lined up at the door and kissed her good-bye, one at a time. It was precious to see how much she has been loved and cherished for the last four years, first by the staff of Swanthana, then by the staff of VCT and her foster family. We will be blessed to reap the rewards of their loving investment.

We returned to the hotel and set off for the pool. Her little swimming suit is navy blue with pink flowers and a little skirt. She told me her swim-dress was nice. Too cute. She has the best accent. I don't expect it to stay, but it is so sweet to listen to for now. She ate eggs for dinner and some of Justin's French fries, then leaned into me and fell asleep. She slept for about 20 minutes, and is now cheerfully bouncing around the room.

I got my first spontaneous kiss from her already. Such a different experience from our first adoption. So, so far we have an ABAB pattern going. A fussy baby only bonded to one person, followed by a more content baby open to bonding to a few people. :) I know the mourning will begin, but so far, she has been very well prepared and expresses happiness to have a Daddy and a Mommy. She is looking forward to going to "American very fast on a plane." Oh, sweet child. You have no idea how long that particular journey will be. We are blessed to have her in our family. Thank you, Jesus, for your gift.