The Journey Home

We left Guangzhou in a hurry last Friday afternoon. We went to the swearing in ceremony at the US Consulate expecting a quick deal, only to learn that in honor of National Adoption Day, they were doing an extra special ceremony for us. Oh, joy. They had the Consulate General, all the adoption processing workers, and tons more people present in honor of the occasion. They gave a great long political speech, acknowleged all the agencies present, swore us in, then wanted photos with everyone. We left before the photos since we had a bus to catch.

Our bus from the hotel had been in an accident and was unable to retrieve us. This greatly complicated matters. It was now rush hour traffic, so the taxi we had called had slow going. We were starting to get concerned because we still had to get back to the hotel, get our bags from the room we had left them in, catch another taxi, then get to the hotel the shuttle bus would leave from. We were accompanied by Qin Lei to the shuttle bus. When we arrived, we threw our stuff onto the bus, sat down, and it started moving. Whew! That was close!

We arrived in Hong Kong six hours later. It was supposed to be a three hour trip, but there was a traffic jam from Guangzhou to Hong Kong. Misery. We had to pass through immigration to get into Hong Kong, dragging our four bags and child with us. We were dropped off in the middle of Kowloon, near another branch of the Metropark Hotel. We were at least near something we recognized. The staff there was helpful in helping us find our hotel on a map so we could tell the cab driver where to go. We flagged down a cab and went to the next hotel.

In the lobby of the hotel, we checked in and were given our room key (an actual key) and the remote to the air conditioner. When he saw all of our bags, he commented that our bags would not fit into our room, so he would upgrade us to the super room for free. Hmmm. There were only four bags. We had to go outside to the next lobby to get to the elevator. One was out of service with electrical difficulties. As the other elevator descended, every other floor or so, the display would read, "Out of Service." Greg told me to just not look at it. We rode the elevator to the 11th floor, found our room, and discovered that my parents' bathroom is bigger than the super. There were 2 single rock hard beds in there, a night stand, a tv, a small fridge, and a scary bathroom. It was actually clean, but still didn't look right. At this point it was 11:30 pm, we hadn't eaten any dinner, and wanted to be out of the hotel by 6:30 am to get to the airport on time without stress. So we just went to bed. Greg got very little sleep.

The alarm went off at 6 am. We got dressed, packed up, and went down to catch a taxi to the Airport Express train station in Kowloon. We had hoped to find a McDonald's on the way for breakfast, but the one we saw was inaccessible from the road we were on. We arrived at the train station and discovered that there was a United counter there that allowed us to check our bags all the way through to O'Hare. What a relief. We caught the train (they came every ten minutes) and relaxed on the way to the airport. We checked in at the airport and then found some breakfast. Food was a very good thing at that point.

Elijah had broken out in a rash a few days earlier. We had tried a dose of Benadryl but had not seen much change. We did not have infant Benadryl with us, which I would definitely take the next time! We stopped in the pharmacy at the airport and talked with the pharmacist. He sold us a bottle of Polaramine, which is an antihistamine. He cautioned us that it might make him drowsy, but that it should help with the rash. I'm not sure it did much with the rash, but what a bonus that it made him drowsy!

He slept for half of the trip to Tokyo. We had bulkhead seats, which allowed room for him to play. They gave us a bassinet for him to sleep in safely on the floor which he was too big for. He tried to turn over, found himself stuck, and freaked out. We got him resettled, but he was done sleeping there.

We had plenty of time to catch the plane from Tokyo to O'Hare. We did not have the bulkhead seats we were hoping for, but ended up next to the only open seat on the plane. What a blessing. He slept for most of the trip. He only fussed for maybe 5 minutes of the entire 11 hours on the plane and was quickly settled.

Once in Chicago, we had to collect our bags, get through customs, then get Elijah through immigration. That took a while, but he is now a US Citizen. We had had to recheck our bags, then get from the International Gate to Gate 1 at the exact other end of the airport. We got to our flight, sat down, they closed the doors, and we left. Whew! We barely made that flight! It was only 50 minutes from Chicago to Columbus, and we were so excited knowing that Kailey and Justin were waiting for us at the other end.

Arriving in Columbus, Kailey and Justin met us outside security with my parents. We ate at the Wendy's there, then headed for home. As anticipated, Elijah was not impressed with the car seat. He had never been in one before and really objected to being restrained. The first 10 minutes of the trip were really noisy. We turned on some music, and he settled right down.

That was the hardest leg of the trip. Greg and I were both exhausted since we had had so little sleep in the previous 48 hours. Greg drove halfway home, then I took over. We got home safely by the grace of God at 9 pm. Thank you for all your prayers for a safe journey. We all slept well that night.

We made it!

Hi all,
Just a quick note to let all of you know that we are home safely. We will still be adding a few things to the blog to wrap up our detailing of the trip. Those will happen over the next few days and into next week. Thank you all for your prayers and support. They were invaluable.

Flying Home

First, let me say that this post is not from Greg or Maren but from Amy Haney. Several people have asked me when Greg, Maren, and Elijah will be flying home, so here is your answer, based on the flights they posted. I went to United.com and checked the lengths of their flights to convert all the times into Eastern Standard Time in parentheses. I have no way of confirming that they make it onto their flights, but you can follow their flight status at United.com. Please keep praying for their safe and timely return!

United Airlines 890 Nov 18 10:05 am HKG (Friday, 9:05 pm EST) to 2:50 pm NRT (Saturday, 12:50 am EST)

United Airlines 882 Nov 18 5:55 pm NRT (Saturday, 3:55 am EST) to 2:14 pm ORD (3:14 pm EST)

United Airlines 1123 Nov 18 4:10 pm (5:10 pm EST) ORD to 6:24 pm CMH

HKG=Hong Kong
NRT=Tokyo
ORD=Chicago (O'Hare)
CMH=Columbus

Changes and Growth

So you have heard about our lovely dining experience, the rest of today was pleasant. We played down at the playground some more. It is going to be so hard to go home to cold weather from here. Not that that is enough motivation for me to consider staying for even a moment, no way! I am so looking forward to being home! I am glad, however, that Elijah has a playset coming for inside the house. Thanks, friends for the gift!

Elijah continues to grow more comfortable, more animated, more relaxed. I have heard from parents with kids who are in school that they frequently hear from the teacher that they are model students who never talk back, pleasant and cooperative. This sometimes surprises the parents. It may be that their extremely talkative child at home is reported to be silent in school. I wonder if it does not come from the level of order and discipline needed to keep chaos from reigning with a large group of children. Many of the children have to hold themselves in check to keep from getting into trouble. Some of these children also keep to themselves because of their personality; they are just too shy in a public setting to really shine. I don't think the children in orphanages ever really get to relax and be themselves. I frequently hear that children adopted from orphanages do not act at all like the description they got from the orphanage. The orphanage reports they are shy and quiet, but the parents get to know a vivacious, outgoing child. I wonder if there isn’t just a freedom that is good for children that comes from being within the safety, the protection, the love of a family that allows them to completely relax and be who they were created to be. Now I am not condemning orphanages. In fact, I wonder if they aren’t actually preferable to the developmental needs of children rather than our country’s foster care system that is so disruptive and destructive to the development of attachment and bonding with multiple placements, but that is another essay for another day.

It has been interesting to observe some of Elijah’s behaviors that were obviously trained into him by the orphanage. It has also been fun to watch him learn new behaviors that demonstrate freedom. When he first came to us, he was completely passive at mealtimes. He would let me spoon things into his mouth but refused to feed himself. It was like he did not know how. I would give him his sippy cup, and he would hand it back, open his mouth, and wait for me to help him drink. He had been taught to be passive to make it easier for them. Yesterday he fed himself his entire breakfast (liquid yogurt through a straw, a sliced banana, a boiled egg, and a whole lot of strawberry covered Cheerios.) When we change his diaper, he was very passive; now he rolls and giggles and plays. Maybe passive in that case was better. After he is changed, he just lays there. He doesn’t get up to carry on. I’m not sure what that was all about, but I ‘m sure he was taught to stay where he was placed. We just keep inviting him to go on. We want him to learn to live within the freedom we can afford.

If you really think about it, we do the same thing with God. He sets limits for us, because within those limits is freedom. There is safety if we stay within the behavioral boundaries God has set for us. But how often does God give us freedom and invite us to do something, but we just sit there and don’t move? How often do we remain passive waiting for God to do it for us, when he is inviting us to participate and carry on. There is great joy to be found within the freedom given to us by God.

Another thing that has been very interesting to watch has been how Greg has responded to being Elijah’s rock of safety during this transition. It has been hard for me, since as many of you know, I absolutely love little ones and generally am pretty good with caring for them and being able to comfort them. Working in the toddler room Sunday mornings gives me a lot of opportunities to be with this age group and help settle a whole lot of upset toddlers going through a difficult transition. To finally get the child I have been praying for for a decade, only to have him want nothing to do with me was hard. I kept reminding myself that the connection would come. We will have him for the rest of his life and Daddy was going back to work. He would learn to trust me soon. That is already happening. Our general experience and learning on toddler development is that small children need to learn to trust and love before they can do much else. Toddlers stick with their safety zone (a parent), especially in unfamiliar settings. The secure ones will explore their environment, then return to contact with their safety zone for a recharge before going back out again. With our other two children, I was the primary safety zone. With Kailey, I was the only safety zone. That is a role I am comfortable in. Greg, not so much. It is a very demanding roll that requires immense patience and a level of tolerance of goo.

What we did to help Elijah start to learn to trust me too was to have me be his source of food. The theory was, if he sees me as his source of food, he will begin to see me as his source of other things as well. We let him stay with his rock as needed. When we pushed his safety zone and insisted someone else hold him, we paid for it. We have learned just to let him feel safe and move out on his own. At the playground yesterday, there were a whole lot of people there. Elijah gripped tightly on to Greg and was not happy to be set down. He did not feel safe there yet. We let him remain in Greg’s arms until he told us he wanted to get down. Then he would play and return to Greg, and then play some more and return to Greg. It was classic. Last night at dinner, he put his arms up to me to pick up…from Greg’s lap. We looked at the light show together. It will be interesting to see how this relationship continues to develop over the next 48 hours as we head home, and then transition to his new home.

Greg and goo is a funny thing. Moms of toddlers tend to be dotted with various toddler donated decorations. Greg is the one who is the recipient of this decoration right now. We have these “Nutritional Biscuits” that Elijah likes to snack on. I’m not really sure what they are, but they look like a sugar cookie and are very fortified with various vitamins. I do not think they have much sugar in them, but then, my Chinese isn’t very good either. Kailey liked them; Justin gave it back to me after one bite. Greg has now said he will not touch Elijah while eating one any more since they create such a lovely beige goo. Elijah has had a runny nose since we got him, so that has to be dealt with. Greg has changed most of the diapers and done most of the potty trips. You should have seen the look on his face when I mentioned cloth diapers at home to facilitate the potty training! I think Greg has grown some in dealing with way more drool, runny noses, and mushy food than he ever has before! He still hates it, though.

It has been a time of growth and a shifting of roles for all of us. We have had to rely on God as we take on new jobs. Greg asked me to remind him of the Fruits of the Spirit at times when he is dealing with Elijah (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.) Good things for all of us to remember and exhibit as we parent. So now we tell each other to get Fruity.

Well, I need to wake the guys up. We need to eat breakfast and pack. We have to check out of the hotel by noon, leave for the consulate at 2:15, and prepare to leave for home. We were planning to take the train, but all the tickets were gone by the time we tried to buy them. It worked out though (doesn’t it always when God is involved?) We are able to take a shuttle van that will drop us off near our hotel. The trip takes an hour longer but leaves an hour sooner and is half the price of the train. We should get to Hong Kong by 10 pm tonight. We will then sleep in a hotel in Kowloon. Tomorrow morning, we will take the Airport Express metro train to the airport, then fly home. Oh, I cannot wait!

I don’t know that we will have anymore computer access until we reach home, so pray for safe travel for us, please! I’ll update when we are stateside Saturday evening.

Funny, but I don't feel more clever

Greg> Maybe I need to sleep on it. Maybe I need a little more. Whatever the problem, the only thing I feel is a bit of upset stomach. We went out to dinner tonight with our shopowner friends. It was a VERY nice time. It was the owner, his wife, their 2 year old daughter, and his sister. The brother and sister came into existence before the current laws against multiple children. This family is just a wonderful family. My wife and I will truly miss them when we leave. While we are looking forward to going home, we are not looking forward to saying "goodbye" to them tomorrow. Sitting outside on the sidewalk outside of their shop many nights reminded me of older America where people used to sit on their front porches and interact with their neighbors. Now, we don't even have front porches. Such a shame. By now, some of you are saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get on with it already. I know there is something juicier in here than all this schmaltz." Well, I wouldn't say "juicier", but it was really not what I expected. So, as we are deciding what we are going to order, Maren and the other ladies went to show the river to the kids. He leaned over to me and suggested a few soup orders. The lighting was very bad as we were outside and it was mostly dark. I looked at the small print on the soup card, looked even more closely at what he was pointing at, stopped breathing momentarily, and I am also pretty certain my heart stopped beating. I mopped the cold sweat off of my forehead and worked like mad to keep my right leg from rapidly bouncing up and down involuntarily. You see, I am a firm believer that pigs would really prefer to keep their brains. What do I need with them? I have my own brains. OK, OK, OK. Stop it. Just stop it right there. That is mean. Very mean. I am halfway around the world and you are making jokes about me having my own brains. Kick a guy while he's down why don't you?! Anyway, my friend said that an old Chinese saying is that eating pig brains makes a person more clever. And I am thinking, the reason it is an old Chinese saying is that somewhere along the line they learned it was a joke played on them by their big brothers. This is very similar to my big brother hiding my nice afternoon snack of plum and saying that mom told him my afternoon snack was a banana and that I had to eat it. That also was very mean. It took me something like and hour and half to put that 'naner down. (I forgive you big bro, but I can still feel that nasty, squishy thing in my mouth!!!). So anyway...he looks at me with poorly veiled humor in his eyes. And to my total amazement, I heard my mouth say, "OK". If I had been outside of my body looking at me, I would have stared at myself with my mouth wide open.

He then said that only he and I would get it and that the wives and sister would get a different soup. He pointed to another. I looked at it and thought, “No problem my wife likes duck. She will eat…” Oh man. He can’t be serious. He is serious. That isn’t duck soup. It is duck KIDNEY soup. Oh wow! Oh, that will never do. But I can’t tell him “No.” That would be rude, and he did say they would like to take us out to dinner and we did agree to go. I did what any self-respecting, yet polite husband would do. I told him not to tell her what kind of soup it was! He laughed heartily.

So anyway, our soup was delivered. It had a lid over it. I opened it up. It looked really good actually. That is probably because it looked like a cup of tea except in a bowl. I thought maybe I had hit it big and the brain part was more blended into the liquid as opposed to being, well, as opposed to being brain. At just that moment, my wife returned. I did something I really shouldn’t have done. I went fishing. Not out on the river, though given a choice…! Nope, I went fishing in my bowl. My wife leaned over to see what had arrived, when even in the dark lighting, she recoiled a bit and said, “That looks like ‘brain’. She then took off her lid, and there was no momentary hope for what stared her in the face could only be described as “kidneys floating in soup”. (That could be a bit for David Letterman’s skit “Will It Float”. If you are ever watching and the object to guess as to whether or not it floats is duck kidneys, bet on them floating.)

So, I finished all my soup! Right down to the last bit of grey matter. Well, I guess technically I didn’t finish all my soup. It turns out that Elijah really likes brain soup! To my credit, I really only gave him the equivalent of two spoonfuls, while I myself finished all the rest. Oh yeah, one more thing. I pulled out some large very dark block looking thing. I leaned over and asked my friend what it was. He wasn’t sure but assured me I was supposed to eat it. I took the plunge and put this very strange thing into my mouth. I bit down and had the distinct feeling that this must be what eating a cork plug must taste like. I tried chewing for quite awhile, but the thing didn’t even really change shape. It just sort of existed in my mouth. I finally leaned over and asked again if I was supposed to eat this thing. He scooped some out of his, put it into his mouth, chewed for awhile and then spit it out. He never could identify it except guessing that maybe it was some sort of Chinese medicine. Oh goody.

Maren finished too. She finished looking at her soup.

Now, about that clever thing. . .

Quiet Day

On Wednesday, Elijah was a bit fussy, so we decided to keep close to the hotel. After breakfast, we took him over to the playground for a long play time. There were lots of parents and grandparents with their small children out playing too. It is funny to see a baby in split pants going down the slide. Imagine the skin sticks on that one! I put Elijah in jeans and a tee shirt to cut down on the comments. One child there was wearing quilted split pants, 2 shirts and a jacket. There was only one other tee shirt there. The rest were wearing long sleeves. Bizarre.

The people were very friendly. One grandpa spoke to Elijah in Cantonese and encouraged him to go down the slide. Elijah listened and did what he was told. He moved Elijah from element to element physically at times. Elijah did not object, but didn't seem thrilled either. At one point, he put Elijah on the teeter totter, and Elijah wasn't happy. We helped him off, gave him a quick hug, then helped him back on. He was very happy then. The child outlasted 2 other children on the teeter totter, then Greg pushed the other side up and down for a long time, then a girl about 5 years old got on. This teeter totter is metal and bounces off of tires buried into the ground. When the 5 year old got on, Elijah was, of course, not heavy enough to counter balance her. So she started pushing harder until he went all the way down. They were bouncing off of the tires, Greg was holding Elijah on, and Elijah thought it was wonderfully fun. His face lit up, and he laughed and laughed. He's gonna love Kings Island!

This afternoon I got Elijah's Chinese name Qing Zu Bin written in characters and framed in his room. I want him to be able to recognize his name in Chinese as part of his heritage. It looks great.

Yesterday they issued his passport, today our travel coordinators will go to the consulate appointment at 9:30 to apply for his visa. We do not have to go, but we do have to stay in the room in case they have any questions or need us to come down afterall. They say that does not happen often, but it does happen. Tomorrow is our swearing in. The group for swearing in is a large one, so they are splitting into 2 groups with us in the first one at 3:30. Gee, I wonder why the group is so large this time? Odd. We will be going to the swearing in with all of our luggage since the train station is right across the street from the consulate. We will be leaving Guangzhou on the 6:20 train, arriving in Hong Kong shortly after 8. We have a hotel in Kowloon for Friday night. We will take the Metro Train Airport Express to the Hong Kong Airport to fly out at 10 am Saturday morning.

We have a 3 hour layover in Tokyo, so I had emailed my friend Paul from high school who lives in Tokyo to see if he could meet us. Unfortunately, he will be in Bangkok, Thailand. I am so bummed. I haven't seen him in years.

Our time here is rapidly drawing to a close. This is our last full day, and I imagine tomorrow will be spent packing. I am so looking forward to returning home. Thank you for all your prayer support. I'm sure that is part of what is keeping me sane. God has truly sustained us during this adventure in our lives.

I'll shout it from the mountaintop...

This entry was actually written last night and saved as a draft to allow more time to be sure in my heart this was OK to post.

I don't even know if this post will see the light of day. Pride for me is insidious and I can't be sure of my motives sometimes. I really believe I only want to praise God, but pride is such a master of disguise. So I will type it, sleep on it and continue to pray about it. Know that if you are reading it, it comes after a lot of prayer and reflection.

Today was a spiritually difficult day for me. I woke up questioning a lot of things. In addition, the day with Elijah was actually much more typical of interactions between a two-year-old and his parent. Namely, I would tell him to do something, and he would refuse...usually with attitude. I would direct him to not do something, and he would continue...always with attitude.

I went out tonight to stop and talk to a shop owner who we know is a Christian. He was not there. I started to head over to the other shop where we have made genuine friends with the owners. This may sound weird to a lot of you, but I truly felt compelled to continue my walk by myself and not go to talk to them just then. I didn't know where I was headed; I just simply walked and prayed.

I ended up sitting on the bank of the Pearl River looking out into the river and praying. I was letting God know that there were aspects of our trip about which I was very disappointed in myself. I had wanted to make a bigger impact and felt like I blew it.

As it happens, I was praying with my eyes open. A lady approached me in a very friendly fashion. I recognized her as someone with whom I had had a brief encounter about a week ago, also next to this river, and also while I was praying. As she had the last time, she offered to provide me with some things that I was not interested "purchasing". As before, I politely declined. This time produced a slightly different result, however. Whereas last time she quickly vanished into the night when she saw I was not accepting, tonight she moved about 7 feet away and stood looking at the river. I stared at her with a growing sense of disbelief, humor, and love. The disbelief was connected to the opportunity God laid before me at the very moment I was expressing a sense of failure towards Him. The humor (I am not sure this is exactly the right feeling) had to do with the simple awe of God and how He works sometimes. And the love was for her person, not her "profession".

I motioned her over and invited her to sit. What she got was not what she expected. I simply began to talk to her and about her. I showed interest in who she was as a person. She asked me some questions about me. Somewhere around this point, she stated that we were friends and that she would no longer ask me to buy what she was selling. I told her that I did what I did in life because of Jesus. To my total surprise, she had never heard of Him. Never heard of the Bible either I soon found out. It is one thing to read about something like this and entirely different to experience someone who never has heard about Jesus. I did the best I could to present her with the Gospel though the language barrier did make it difficult.

Various sources have verified that such sharing can be construed as a crime here including a source living in country. Despite this, she listened and did not brush me off. I would love to say that the whole thing ended in a dramatic fashion, but it did not. We talked for awhile longer and she got up to leave. I got one last chance to encourage her and remind her that she was loved. I continue to pray for her and that her experience with me will be part of a series of events to lead her down a better path. I am also grateful to the Lord for edifying me at just the moment I was reaching out to Him and feeling like a failure. He teaches me so many lessons about how to be a father to my own children. He is...He simply is.

Everyone's Got a Water Buffalo

Today we decided to go on another adventure. After breakfast today, we, another family, and Qin Lei took cabs to another zoo. This one was called Xiangjiang Safari Park. In the cab on the way there, Elijah basically shut down. We think he was scared something bad was going to happen. It wasn't naptime at all, but he just started sucking his thumb and went to sleep. When we got there, he actually had teeth marks on his thumb, so we really think the ride stressed him out.

We were in a separate cab from the others and had difficulty meeting up. While we were waiting, we saw these little rodents, maybe mice, maybe gerbils, coming out to eat scraps. They would come right up to people. Greg had one touch his foot. It was so odd. While we watched these rodents run around, we had an older lady come very close to us and simply stare us down very disapprovingly. We aren't exactly sure why, but she was not subtle and she stayed a long time. There were other people at the next table over, so we weren't in a bad spot. It was really sort of strange.

At Xiangjiang, we were amazed at some of the things we saw. They allow you to have your picture taken touching a full grown white tiger, parrots, tiger cubs, camels, mini horse, on an elephant, and a few others. Clearly they do not have the liability issues we have in the US! They have the largest collection of white tigers in the world here and are a major breeder of white tigers. They had a white tiger show that actually started with 4 bears doing tricks--without muzzles on. Then they had 15 white tigers loose in a cage with 2 handlers. It was neat to see, but part of me kept thinking how wrong it was to force those animals to do silly things for our entertainment. The cats seemed a bit grumpy about it.

Elijah seemed to like the elephants the best. We got to buy bananas (10Y or $1.25US for 2 bunches) to feed to them. They were contained behind a fence and then a hot fence, and you just threw the bananas to them. Elijah thought that was great.

We then rode on a tram that carried us through a huge area with roaming animals. Some were contained behind hot fences (like the lions, tigers, and elephants.) The rest just roamed freely across the road in huge enclosures. A dozen giraffes, water buffalo (I just could help bursting into song when I saw them), deer, wildebeasts, ostriches, emus, peacocks, and so many I did not recognize. Elijah really liked seeing all the animals and was very vocal, pointing things out and squealing.

We took the bus home, which was infinitely cheaper than the cab that got us there. Elijah fell asleep for part of the trip, but it was a more gradual, natural nap than the one on the way there. When he woke up, the old ladies on the bus were indicating to us that we should have more clothes on him and should stop him from sucking his thumb. One reached over uninvited and pulled his chest carrier over his legs. We had heard about such rudeness prior to coming but it is fairly strange and irritating to have it happen in person. Another family here with us have experienced strangers on the street pulling their daughter's fingers out of her mouth. As for the clothes, I'm sorry, but I have to repeat that it is over 80 degrees here and we are carrying him all day. He would roast if we put him in long pants and a long sleeved shirt like they seem to want him to wear. Their children sweat.

On that topic, I have to say I am completely amused by the populace here wearing long sleeves, long pants, and sometimes sweaters or jackets, and then air conditioning their rooms to be comfortable. That just kills me. Short sleeves and short pants are so much cheaper than air conditioning. Whatever.

As an added note, we want to thank various family members for suggesting they give us our Christmas presents early this year in the form of cash. They thought it might be useful on our trip. They were right. We decided to use the cash on adventures rather than stuff. We are very grateful to them for the ability to create memories while on our adoption trip.

Here are pictures from today:

Medical Appointment

We had another easy day today. This morning we ate a quick breakfast, then went to the Medical Exam. It is a short cursory exam, but we did learn a few things. He is up to date on his vaccinations, so we do not even have to think about those. He is now 24 lbs, and almost 32", so he has grown since his last update we received in July. His hearing seems fine and his ears are clear. One of the doctors who checked him (there were 3) checked his special need and did not have much to say about it. He asked us what we had observed, which boils down to: we aren't sure. Elijah handled it very well. He only fussed a little and settled down quickly with a few banana toddler bite puffs. He loves those.

We spent quite a bit of time wandering around the island, poking around shops and talking with people. We also let Elijah play at the playground. His gross motor skills are on target, as are his fine motor skills. He seems to have been well taken care of. He knows what to do to have his nose wiped and his teeth brushed.

We finally got pizza for dinner last night. It was disappointingly bland. What I would do for a LaRosa's... To avoid the problem we had had the night before, we called at 4 pm to order delivery at 6 pm. To get the price over the amount needed for free delivery, we also ordered a half dozen bagels to eat for lunches. We were able to find some Skippy Peanut Butter in the store, so that made for a good lunch. Figuring out smooth from crunchy was a little tricky when the words are all in Chinese, but I managed.

For dinner tonight we returned to the Rose Garden on the river. That is where Greg ate chicken knuckles. He chose Cashew Chicken tonight, that I think tastes great, but is way too spicy to eat more than a bite or two. Elijah had Chicken Congee and a jar of baby veggies. I had beef stir fried with noodles again. It is so funny to go to one of these restaurants. You see things on the menu (that is pages and pages long, to the point of being overwelming) that just make you cringe or laugh. We have seen Pickled Plasma, Roast Duck Chest, Duck Chin, Chicken Feet in a sauce, Pig Lung Soup, Shark Fin Soup, and, of course, Chicken Soft Bones. Studying a menu that is in Chinese with enough English that you know should be taken with a grain of salt makes it very difficult to make a good choice for dinner. The Chinese do not use articles and frequently mix up their prepositions, in addition to these complications, they flat out misuse or misspell words. Once I find something on the menu that sounds edible, I tend to keep ordering that same dish. It is just easier that way. Fewer surprises. When I am handed one of these 8 page overwelming menus, I just remind myself that I only have to find one dish to eat.

Random thoughts, Part 3

1. Snot is every bit as bad as I remember it.
2. The US Occupational Safety and Health Administration would have a field day here.
3. If you think the station identifiers on your TV are obnoxious, you should see them here. They are larger, not see through, and generally move and change. I have seen one large one rapidly and dramatically change its appearance every second or so. I just watched another bounce across the TV screen like your marquee setting on your screen saver (you know, when you have words bounce to the edge of the screen and then all around.
4. Friends are important when you are at home and more so when you are on the road.
5. I often find myself lowering my voice when talking about Christ at home. Not right, but it happens. I am trying to avoid commiting what seems like shame or worry. It is entirely different to have to look around you before you talk about Christ due to concerns about my own welfare as well as that of the person I am talking to.
6. Talking to a shop owner and his wife about how both Maren and I drive and have cars when neither of them can do either in large part due to cost, drives home just how rich we are compared to most others in the world.
7. I can't decide if I feel like a slug for bargaining or if I am OK with it because that is the way around here.
8. It is cool to think I have made a friend half way around the world.
9. The place that served me up a plate of juicy chicken knuckles serves up a mean cashew chicken...but it is not for the timid in terms of spice. The waitress was impressed with my consumption.
10. A James Bond Marathon sounds cool until the dumb thing runs for two straight weeks on about the only English channel we receive.
11. James Bond's gadgets are still cool no matter how many movies of his you see in a short period of time.
12. Gee, I am starting to understand better why our trip ended up happening the way it has.
13. It is bizarre to see 10 different brides in rented gowns getting their pictures taken outside day after day.
14. CNN reported a day or two ago that McDonalds is looking to China to supply their restaurants. If that includes the beef, Mickey D's will go bankrupt in America. I don't know what it is exactly but it sure is different.
15. There are 600 McDonalds in China. I think 124 of them are within walking distance of our hotel.
16. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time (Stephen Wright).
17. I spent a lot of time wondering why I volutarily was going back to diapers.
18. Not me Lee, my kid!
19. I still can't stand the diaper thing.
20. It is already definitely worth it.

20 Observations and Updates on Elijah

1. He loves to suck his thumb. He does it when he is sleepy or stressed.
2. He was made to have a blankie. He wads it up to hold it, strokes it, snuggles with it, loves it.
3. He is ticklish almost everywhere.
4. His whole face lights up when he smiles.
5. His belly laugh is wonderful to hear.
6. We have a better understanding of why he was banged up when he came to us. He has no fear and moves fast.



7. He is healing nicely. Most of his scabs are gone and are not being replaced. He is cleaner, softer, and looking better each day.
8. He does not seem to experience pain. We have seen him wacked upside the head with a plastic toy 3 times with no reaction. He jumped from standing off the bed and landed on his bottom and just got up and walked on.
9. He throws himself bodily into space without care as to where he might land. We have seen him jump off park benches. (Fortunately Daddy was standing there to catch him!) He will also be standing there and just drop to the ground.
10. He wears 12-18 month sized clothing.
11. He now weighs 24 lbs and is almost 32 inches tall.
12. He is coming alive more each day. He is also starting to be more flexible in who can hold him. I got to hold him yesterday without him crying, he also kissed me.
13. He shares very well with others. He got hit in the head with a toy yesterday, then went right back to share with that child. He also understands the concept of trading. Look out in the toddler room, though, he knows how to defend his space if needed.
14. We will need to child proof when we get home, that is for sure. He is becoming more and more inquisitive and loves things with buttons!
15. His coos are adorable; his cries are pathetic.
16. He wakes up like bear, but give him five minutes, then he is a sweet as honey.
17. He will taste darn near anything, but knows what he likes. Ice cream is high on his list. That's my boy!
18. He clearly says words, we just do not understand him. That must be very frustrating for him.
19. While I wouldn't go so far as to actually call him potty trained, he is certainly well on the way. We'll take that!
20. He is smart, energetic, strong-willed, loving, and is the perfect addition to our family.

Picture test

We have been having trouble with a new camera card. We are attempting to use our old card to work with the pictures. We also have to go about it in a different fashion. If this works, the picture you see is of morning assembly at a local school. This assembly happens every Monday morning.

In defense of myself!

Greg>
OK, I have taken some friendly harranging for my post about "chicken soft bones". The messages have basically been to the tune of "You dork. What did you expect when you ordered something called "chicken soft bones. When you order bones, you get bones!" Well, in defense of myself, that doesn't exactly work in translation. I fully thought that what they meant to say was "boneless chicken"...you know, something like "soft on bones". It even crossed my mind that what they meant was "chicken with bones in it". It never ever crossed my mind that I would literally be served a plate of chicken knuckles. The closest thing resembling meat on these things was a few generous pieces that had some cartilage still attached. I gnawed on about 12 of them to suck whatever precious juices out of them I could and then gave up the task as very much not worth the effort. Besides, my ability to ignore the fact that I was siphoning joint juice began to give way. That is when I concentrated on eating my dinner of onions. Let me put it to you another way. When I saw a sign advertising "Died Coke", I didn't think they would serve up some R.I.P. Coke or that it was only for the deceased. When they said they were spraying "Mosquito Medicament", I didn't figure they were trying to make the poor ailing mosquitos feel better. So, laugh all you want. Anyone can eat a tasty chicken leg, but how many of you have dined on succulent "Joints of Fowl"?

As an off-topic but humorous note...On our way home from McDonalds today, we crossed a crosswalk of a one-way, single lane street. We clearly had the green walk signal, and traffic was clearly stopped. As we got to the other side and began walking up the sidewalk, we had to...get this...get out of the way of 3 motorbikes as they jumped the curb, drove up the sidewalk, and ran the red light. As I looked back, a traveling companion asked if I had given them a dirty look. I chuckled and said, "No, I was just looking back to see that it was indeed a red light and that we are, in fact, on the sidewalk!"

We Corrupted Him Today

We got up this morning, ate breakfast, then went to church. Today we sang 2 songs in Chinese (one was the same as last week. I'm impressed with myself for recognizing it.) We also sang I Exalt Thee and Victory Chant. As the sermon started, Elijah became very unhappy with his lot in life. We had to leave the service to go to the courtyard.

Out in the courtyard, we got into some neat conversations. One was with a mom from Texas, a fellow believer who is here getting child #6. She is adopting a 2.5 yo boy with missing fingers. The rest were local people who wanted to know where we were from and how we got a boy. One did not seem to know anything about adoption. At least one said she was a Christian. It continues to be hard at times to talk to these people since our lives and culture are so different from theirs. When they asked how many children we have and we responded three, she commented that our house would be very crowded. I didn't want to tell her that we have 4 bedrooms and a big yard. Another couple here was asked a similar questions: How many rooms does your house have. He answered 3. She said, "Oh, very big." He clarified, "That is bedrooms, not just rooms." She said they had something like 8 people living in 2 rooms.

After church, we walked over to the nearby McDonald's for lunch. We completely corrupted Elijah by feeding him 3 chicken nuggets, french fries, and some ice cream. The burgers are not quite the same here, but the fries are identical. When my mom took Kailey and Justin before they left, Kailey ate 10 chicken nuggets and Justin had 8. Kailey announced that while they are at my parents' house, she does not want to eat out at all! Nana has to cook every single meal. Well, maybe halfway through the week they could go out to get some Sesame Chicken. There certainly isn't any of that dish here!

They have returned safely to the US. Here are the emails they sent us upon arrival at my folks' house:

From Kailey
We got back a little bit ago. I slept a whole lot on the plane [note from Nana – about 5 hours]. On the second plane, I looked out the window the whole time. It only seemed like it took a little while. On the big plane from China, Hannah from the ballet school was sitting in the nest section. I did not see here until we got to the airport in Chicago. I thought “that looks like the girl from my ballet school.” When she looked at me, I waved and she waved back. We kept seeing her and her family in the airport. Well, got to go to bed.


From Justin:
I love you mommy. I will see you in a week.

So, the bus from Guangzhou was not as advertised. We did all have to leave the bus to go through customs and immigration – that meant hauling all of our stuff ( no carts) through an unbelievably crowded and confusing immigration processing center, then coming out the other side to find that our next transportation was in a seven person van with two more travelers and all of their luggage. That whole process took 45 minutes and we barely made the plane. It was extremely frustrating – and we were very worried about missing the plane,

I have sent you info about sleeping in the airport in Hong Kong – you may want to explore this more. I googled hong kong airport sleep. I think your only choice is to go to Hong Kong Friday night. I am exhausted – more tomorrow.
******

We had already decided to take the train back to Hong Kong Friday night and stay at a hotel there. We have our reservations and will take the MTR train to the airport on Saturday. We should be home Saturday between 9-10 pm.

We Just Want a Pizza

Tonight for dinner, Greg and I picked up food for Elijah, then came back to the room so we could order a pizza from Danny's Bagels. We have heard that Danny is actually from New York and the pizza is quite good. We started phoning at 6:45, knowing that they took their last order at 7:30. We got a busy signal for 45 minutes. At least we think that was a busy signal. Here the only difference between a ring and a busy signal is the length of the tone. Finally at 7:30, someone picked up the phone and laid it on the counter. I stayed on the line for 10 minutes, but no one ever spoke into the phone. We were so disappointed. We put Elijah down to bed, but it is 9:40 pm and he is still lying there awake. I left the boys here in the room and went to get sweet and sour chicken. It took forever, but at least we have eaten now.

One thing that is very difficult about being here is answering some of the people's questions. They will ask how many children we have. When we tell them 3, they tell us how lucky we are to have such a large family. We are not sure how to respond to this. We know we are blessed and thank them. In the USA, 3 children is not considered a large family, just slightly above average. You aren't talking large until at least 4-5 children. My heart breaks for these people.

A positive thing happened today. Greg got to present the gospel to one of the shop owners we have spent quite a bit of time with. Nothing more than a discussion, but neat none the less. Tomorrow we will worship with the saints here again. We are looking forward to that.

Bittersweet

Today is truly a bittersweet day. More bitter than sweet. My parents, Kailey and Justin left very early this morning (they were downstairs by 6 am) to catch the shuttle to the Hong Kong airport. It was hard to say good bye to them. We know without a doubt they will be well cared for, but they just want to go home. They did not want to leave us or their new little brother. They are going to be hangin out at my parents' house or at the bookstore, according to my parents' schedules. It was good that they left as it will be so much cheaper to use their tickets as originally planned, only changing ours. It also cuts down on the expenses here since we are feeding fewer people. It will also give Greg and I some alone time with Elijah to really get to know him without others around. We were still very sad to see them go. Mom and Dad have been a great help taking care of things, helping with the children, and encouraging us to try new things.

We have moved to a new room at the hotel. Our hotel has the original building, plus they have an addtional building called the Annex. Our room is so much larger now! Before we took two slightly-larger-than-a-single sized beds and pushed them together. Now we have a real king sized bed. We also have a small sitting room separated from the main room by a half wall. We have a computer and free internet access as well. The other advantage to moving rooms is Elijah will not be looking for Kailey, Justin, Nana, and Papa in this room. He already plays more and isn't nearly as fussy here. In the other room, he started fussing and following Greg as soon as he got into the room. He hasn't done that here.

Elijah is taking his nap now. Greg has gone to drop of our laundry one last time. I could get used to sending my dirty clothes out and having them come back clean and neatly folded! We do not have any big plans for the rest of today. Just spending time with our new son.

Free Day

Today was a free day, the first of many until we receive Elijah's passport next Wednesday. We did not do much, just hung around the island and spent time together. At lunch today, Greg and I took the kids to Lucy's, that serves mediocre American food. Justin had PB&J; Kailey had tuna; I had a chicken sandwich; Greg had a chicken quesadilla. We had already fed Elijah leftover chicken congee from the night before. He had is first French Fries and liked them.

While we ate, we discussed what we missed most. The great consensus was that we missed the people at home most of all. We were looking forward to getting back to our street to be able to play again. (It is hard to remember that it is not hot at home.) We also missed things like mac and cheese, Spaghettios, pizza, and ice cream. I also miss milk. They are doing more milk now, but there still isn't much to be found. The Oreos are real, though.

Elijah took a hour long nap this morning, then a two and a half hour nap from 2:30-5:00 pm. This proved to be a bad thing tonight at bedtime. He was ready to play and not remotely interested in sleep. Oh, well. Live and learn. The orphanage gave us very little real information on him, so everything is an experiment, just like with a newborn, only with a lot more attitude.

He amazed us at dinner tonight. We went to a restaurant that did not serve food for babies, so we stopped elsewhere and got another serving of chicken congee (which is like oatmeal, only made from rice with shredded chicken mixed in) He ate all the congee (at least 1 cup), then a 1/2 cup of peach yogurt, then 2 pieces of lemon chicken (sized like a chicken nugget), then he sampled Singapore noodles, rice, and fish. He belly was so full, it stuck out past his pants! We have Greg hold him while I feed him. That way he has to come to me for food. The theory is that if he learns that he can come to me for food, he will eventually come to me for other things too.

We are nearly packed up to move to the new room. I need to go now so that we can pack the computer and go to bed. More tomorrow.

Passport to Home

Today we applied for Elijah ZuBin's passport. We went first to pick up our Notary books. I'm still not exactly sure what it is, but it is some formal document about the adoption. It has a family picture (parents and adopted child), a bunch of Chinese writing and our names. All I can read is our names. We then went to a police station to apply for his Chinese passport. Greg thought it was funny that we had to go to a police station to do that until I pointed out that we go to a post office. He agreed that that was even stranger.

After the application was submitted, our coordinator took us across the street to have Elijah's picture retaken. I have no idea what for, but the one submitted by the orphanage was the wrong size. Whatever. One more hoop. Everyone in the photo place spoke Cantonese, which is Elijah's language. They told us how to pronounce his name in Cantonese and told us what his nickname would likely be. When they said his nickname, he smiled and lit up for them. It was neat to see. I have been trying to pronounce his Cantonese name, but Qin Lei says I cannot do it. She says she is not dramatic enough to say it in Cantonese. Oh, well. One of the ladies in the photo shop asked Elijah if she could hold him. He shook his head and moved closer to Greg. That was good to see. There is definitely a bond forming there. He and I are still struggling. I know it will work out, though. It will just take time.

Tonight for dinner we returned to a restaurant on the river we have been twice before. It is a beautiful restaurant to eat at since you get to eat outside at tables by the river. Brightly lit boats pass by. Chinese lantern hang from lamp posts. The whole place is beautiful. Mom and Dad struggle a bit because it is not well lit. They have a hard time reading the menu. Greg tried a new dish called Chicken Soft Bones in Manga Sauce and Thai Chili. He expected meat and a spicy sauce. He tasted the first bite and found a bone, no meat. He thought he had gotten a bad piece. The second bite made him think there were more bones than normal. After the third bite he investigated more closely and found the whole plate was full of chicken knuckles and joints. It was basically inedible. He did eat quite a few spicy onions, though and wondered if he was going to be able to fill up on them. Kailey got a delicious dish of skewered beef cooked over charcoal. Justin ate a BLT. Mom and I had noodles and beef. Elijah had congee with chicken. He ate quite a bit once he calmed down. We tried to get him to sit in a high chair without Greg holding him, but that was a no go.

We came back to the room to put the kids to bed. Elijah received his second bath, which was just as noisy as the first. His feet are starting to look cleaner, but I still think they just need a new layer of skin. I have been rubbing Shea Butter lotion into his skin to try to soften it up. It is just so rough. He does not object to having his teeth brushed. He likes to spit into the sink, I think. He also goes to bed so easily. Greg just sits by him and he goes to sleep! He sleeps all night, too. Gotta love it. Well, I am going to sign off for the night. It is almost midnight here.

Tomorrow we have to reorganize and pack my parents and Kailey and Justin. They'll be leaving at 6:30 am Saturday morning on the shuttle to return to the Hong Kong airport to fly home. We will be moving to the other part of the Victory Hotel called the Annex. The rooms are bigger, but more importantly, each room comes with a computer and free internet access. Right now we use Mom's laptop, but it has to go home with her. We were thinking we would have to go to the business center and pay for internet access, taking turns staying with Elijah. This way we don't have to. They asked us when we got here if we wanted to move to the Annex, but here we could have joining rooms, which has been wonderful.

Well, good night, and thanks for praying. We really have needed it. We have been praying for your needs as we have known them and for blessing on all of you.

In Perspective

When I read about the Jewish nation in the history provided in the Bible, I often marvel at their ability to witness some great and amazing thing only to forget their first love at the first sign of trouble. I often totally miss the fact that I do this regularly and with much less than an army hot on my tracks to make me sway. A good friend wrote to me today and reflected that I seemed to be discouraged. He then provided excellent guidance and encouragment that dovetailed really well into my quiet time I had just prior to really reading his message diligently. The sad thing is, he was right. I had been discouraged. I don't have an army bearing down on me. I am not being persecuted. I have family and friends that love me tremendously and offer all kinds of support, and yet I am easily brought down from my mountaintop. How sad.

At the same time, it is another time for me to learn and apply and become more like Christ. He kept his eyes firmly on the goal. He led with total authority. He also loved with his whole life. There are concerns I have regarding our son and more immediately regarding the trip. However, my perspective has been realigned through the power of Christ using two brothers in Christ. I was reminded to keep my eyes on the prize. To lead. To persevere. There are things I must do, and there are things I must trust God to do. I have also been blessed by Ken W's email list of prayer concerns. While it is true that we are on it and know that many are praying for us, the list is a regular reminder that there are others in the body of Christ experiencing REAL problems. Long problems. Heart wrenching problems. I can see all sorts of ways some of our issues will be able to be addressed. Simply seeing solutions and a number of them at that is tremendously hope-inducing. There are others that cannot fathom any way at all short of a miracle that things will improve. Our family is together and literally just grew today. There are families that have been ripped apart by death, divorce, separation, and more.

Maren suggested I read Psalm 68 this morning. In it I found verse 3: But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God, may they be happy and joyful. This then reminds me of James where we are told to rejoice in our sufferings. The Lord is in the process of building character and hope within me. There are times when I need refined by the fire. I am not even going through the fire, rather there is just some burnishing going on. May those of you going through the fire remember that you are being refined like much pure gold.

Thank you brothers and sisters for taking the time to pray and encourage. It would be easy to let it go, but know that you are instruments of the Lord.

Fun with Statues

While we were off doing official stuff, Mom and Dad took the kids around the island to take pictures of the various statues. Here is their fun:

It's official!

Well, today's paperwork finalized the adoption--he is ours now. The people handling the paperwork asked us all kinds of questions including what his Chinese name is. We each pronounced it for them. One lady commented that my Mandarin was very good. I laughed, thanked her, then told her it didn't really matter since he only understood Cantonese. I asked how to say his name in Cantonese, and she said some amazing string of syllables. She assured me it was very hard. That answers why he doesn't answer when we call him ZuBin. We are just going with Elijah since we do not know his Cantonese name.

Here's something amazing: he has been in the same diaper since this morning! He seemed to indicate something to me, then he pooped in his diaper. When we returned from the Guangzhou Civil Affairs Office, we placed him on the toilet, which he used once he calmed down! He has gone 4 more times after that! We are truly amazed. We'll see how he does tonight. Maybe we won't need that case of diapers after all.

He is already starting to repeat some words in English. He is interacting more and starting to play. He can "Give 5." He very much still prefers Greg. The kids are dying to play with him more, but he is still very clingy and not feeling safe enought to get down very often.

We have looked at him a little more and maybe the meatus is higher than we thought. Just thought we'd toss that out there, as we really have very little clue what we are talking about.

It has been a very long, stressful day with a fussy, scared toddler and all kinds of official appointments. Tomorrow we will pick up his notary book that documents the adoption, then we go to apply for his passport. It takes 5 business days to receive the passport, then we will go to the US Consulate to apply for his visa and get sworn in for something, I'm not sure what. Then we can come home. Somewhere in there we have a medical exam. Everything I have heard about the medical exam is that it is fast and basically gives you a height and weight.

I am going to go back now and add in some photos. More tomorrow.

An Aerobic Sleeper

The first night is over (for me at any rate, everyone else is still sleeping, including Elijah.) It went very well. He laid on the bed between us and went to sleep around 9 pm without a fuss. He likes to have his feet massaged, so I took advantage of that and rubbed some cocoa butter lotion in to start to soften them up while I relaxed him. It was so cute, because if we stopped rubbing, he would move his foot back into our hands so that we would start again.

He rolls all over while he is sleeping! This is his first night outside of the confines of a crib, so he was really testing his freedom. When he encounters resistence (like a pillow) he just lifts a leg and works to get over it. While it is cute while we are awake, it is a little tougher to sleep through. He also rotates. His head was up with ours at times. At others, we were an H. He never woke up, though. The thumb goes in and out of his mouth all night. We have never had a thumb sucker before, so this should be interesting.

We gave him a bath last night so we could start to wash some of the grunge off of him. He was unimpressed. He refused to sit down and screamed the whole time. I at least got the dirt out of some of his sores and put some antibiotic ointment on them before we put on him jammies. We did not even attempt to brush his teeth. One thing at a time. Maybe today we'll try that.

He has a cold that I can feel rumble in his chest. He coughs and his nose is runny. I suspect that may have played into his strong reaction when they gave him to us. Who wants new people when you are sick? It should be gone before we travel with him, but hopefully he won't have shared with us by then!

We have to be getting up soon. We have appointments back at the Guangzhou Civil Center Office to make the adoption final. Right now we only have temporary custody. We are scheduled to leave at 9 am from the lobby (that is 8 pm EST). I pray Elijah wakes up cheerfully! At least we know he is persistent and still has spirit. We a have always said that after parenting Kailey as a baby, we can handle any spirited little one!

Kailey and Justin are going to play on the island with Nana and Papa. There are statues everywhere that Mom wants to take pictures of with them.

Gotcha!

We wandered around the city a bit today, looking for a tailor to make a suit for my mom, but were unsuccessful. It at least kept us busy.

We met in the lobby of the hotel with the 3 other families who are in our group for getting their babies today at 3 pm. We had chartered a bus to take us to the Guangzhou Civil Affairs Office. It is only about 15 minutes away from the hotel. Once there, we were taken in to a room that had a large table and 3 other families who had just received their babies. They left shortly after we arrived, then they brought in the babies.

They gave Elijah to me telling him I was his mama. He cried. He continued crying until he just shut down and went to sleep about 20-30 minutes later. He didn't just cry, he was hysterical. It was an immediate reaction when he started his fit. (Greg's editorial note: "hysterical" doesn't even do justice to the intensity and duration. From the moment he was handed over, he had one serious meltdown). He was crying for "Ya Ya," which means Grandma. We suspect that is what he called his nanny. That makes me feel good that he is bonded to her. My heart is sad that he will be mourning the loss of her for a long time, but at least he knows what it means to be loved. He keeps calling for her whenever he is upset. We have also discovered that he is a thumb sucker. I'm glad he has that for comfort.

He decidedly prefers Greg to me right now. It isn't as bad as the other family I had mentioned. He cries if Greg hands him to me, but he stops fairly quickly. He cries if Greg leaves the room, but he will stop for me. If given the choice, he will always choose Greg, and doesn't cry when he goes to him. Y'know what? I'm okay with that. Greg isn't as happy, but it doesn't bother me. I expected it. I know that he will settle down. He has to deal with me and settle in at some point. Daddy goes off to work, and Elijah will have me. We'll bond. I'm not worried. He let me hold him, but then I bribed him with banana puffs (I'm no dummy.) (Greg's editorial: I already went through a child pretty well rejecting me for a long time. I am used to it. Guys tend to be a little more detached anyway while women tend to provide the stronger emotional stability. I would much prefer for him to be rejecting me right now. That connection is an area for prayer.)

Kailey and Justin are very happy to have him here. They are so anxious to help and to hold him and to play with him. It will be hard on them when they have to leave him on Saturday. They are going to have to adjust as we have to meet Elijah's needs at times before theirs. When he was so upset when they gave him to us, both Kailey and Justin were working hard to help without any encouragements or suggestions. Justin was singing "Wheels on the Bus" and Kailey was offering him toys. This made us very proud of them and also really touched our hearts.

Elijah is very banged up. He has scratches, sores, bumps and bruises all over him. His feet have dirt in the crevices that will likely not come clean until he has a new layer of skin. His toes are all scratched and banged up. We think that today was the first time he had worn shoes. It looks like he has run barefoot his whole life on concrete. He has a rather large knot on the back of his head that feels very bony. We are curious as to what a doctor would have to say about it. (editorial note: "knot" is too tame a description. He has a large bump about the size of a small fist on the back right of his head. It is not tender to him, nor is it mushy. He does not show any obvious neurological problems, but we will definitely be getting it checked out stateside.) As for his hypospadias, it seems to be pretty serious. We really aren't sure from looking, but it seems to be short, with chordee and have the meatus down near the scrotum. I'm sure the urologists at Children's will be able to give us a good idea of what should be done. (editorial note: I don't know what she just wrote).

After we returned to the hotel, we sat him down on the floor to play with him and start to get to know him. After a while, he did smile at Daddy's antics. I have no doubt that we will have a very different child on our hands by the time we get home.

We went downstairs to get a group photo of the nine families who are here now. Five of them are leaving in the morning. The other four will be leaving on November 18 or later. I think we are actually going to be the first to leave from that group.

We got Chinese takeout (kinda funny, if you think of it) to eat in our room, since we did not want to take Elijah back out again. We got to keep his clothes they brought him to us in. We need to go shopping tomorrow for shoes and a few odds and ends. The shoes he was wearing are thick, heavy, and are Chinese Power Rangers. Hmmmm. That doesn't reflect our taste, now does it?

FATHER'S PERSPECTIVE:
Yeah, the roller coaster hasn't stopped yet. One thing is certain that both Maren and I have already confirmed, we do love this guy. The poor little trooper is pretty beat up. Having been involved in child abuse investigations for so long, I can say without doubt that his bang-ups and bruisings are NOT the result of abuse. I am glad about that but am also glad to get him out of the orphanage to help him get healed up.

I have a lot of questions running through my head that I am eager to ask the professionals at Cincinnati Children's. I really wish we could get there a lot sooner than we can. I am not worried about his hypospadias condition, though admittedly it is much worse than I anticipated. To protect his privacy (no pun intended), I won't go into detail though I think that is what Maren provided with all those medical terms up a little bit! I am trying not to worry about his cranial condition. I can't tell if I am succeeding in not worrying or just doing a good job not thinking about it. One thing I do know, the Lord brought us this far and will take us the rest of the way. This is true whether or not there are conditions we know of or conditions of which we are not aware. When we had Kailey and Justin, we didn't know what we were going to get. We love them regardless. This will be true for Elijah as well. In fact, quite literally, even I as I type this, I am feeling better about things. Our great God feeds the sparrows and clothes the lillies. We have nothing to fear.

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh, My!

Funny thing happened this morning at breakfast. Greg was wearing a grey tee shirt that said Baseball on it. This American guy walked up to him and asked, "You are an American, aren't you?" Greg said yes. The next question was, "Great, so who won the World Series?" He had been in some rural area in the west of China adopting and had been so out of touch that he hadn't heard.

We struck off on a new adventure today. Greg and I took the kids off on our own for the first time off Shamian Island. In case I haven't been clear, we are staying on Shamian Island. It was originally where the Chinese allowed the westerners to settle. The Pearl River runs along one side and they dug a canal on the other to separate it from the rest of China. They then posted guards on the bridges to shoot any foreingers who tried to cross without permission. Most of the buildings on the island are western style architecture. It is expensive to live here for the locals. One family we have developed a relationship with (they own The Shop on Stair, which is just that, a shop that goes up a flight of steps with goods on both sides and ends at the door!) pay RMB1500 to live on the island so they can keep the shop open later. If they lived across the canal, they would only have to pay RMB400 for a similar apartment. The US Consulate used to be here, but moved to the northern part of the city for a more secure facility. Many of the locals speak at least some English, most of the people here are business travelers or adopting Americans. The shops on the island are geared towards adopting little girls. At any rate, we left the island without a guide or my parents for the first time.

We asked the front desk to write the characters for the Guangzhou Zoo down on a card to show a cab driver and off we went. The Guangzhou Zoo is an interesting place. It is very much in transition right now. It was built in 1958 and is working to transition from caged animals to more open habitat enclosures. It is a beautiful place, but still needs a lot of work. The best feature is a new building called Ocean World. It was an amazing aquarium, similar to our Newport Aquarium. You enter down an escalator that descends through a fish tank tunnel. There are skates, sea turtles, crab, sharks, penguins, seals, and many animals I had never seen before. The kids would ask what something was, but we couldn't tell them since all the signs were in Chinese.

They did a dive show with 2 ladies dressed as mermaids who swam around in the big tank with the skates and other assorted fish. Then the diver went in to feed the skates. They flocked to him and covered him like a blanket looking for their share of the fish. It was very fun to see.

We ate a quick lunch--another noodle bowl. Cheap and filling. Then we went to the dolphin show. They started with a very fun sea lion demonstration. Then they moved on to the dolphins. Kailey and Justin got to go pet the dolphin. Then they brought out 2 trained beluga whales. Very impressive.

After the show we wandered the zoo. We were shocked to see the Chinese children throwing candy to the bears and no one stopping them. This must be standard because the bears seemed to expect it. There was trash in the cages that people had thrown in. They do not have the buffer zones like we have. The animals cannot get out or reach the people, but they are right under where people can stand.

One funny thing we saw was at a gibbon hill. Three workers were in the enclosure cleaning it out with lots of gibbons running around. One of them had a spray bottle that you pump to build pressure so that it will spray continuously. He had dropped the nozzle and one of the monkeys had grabbed it and run off with it. The zoo keeper was chasing him trying to retreive it, but the monkey was hiding from him. The monkey would spot him coming and would take off, across the enclosure and up something high. Then would take off again when the keeper would get close. The chase went of for quite a while, drawing quite a crowd of laughing spectators. The monkey finally dropped the nozzle and the keeper was able to retreive it and get back to work. Greg wondered who the bigger monkey was.

We left the zoo, caught a cab, showed him a card from the hotel telling him where to take us and returned safe and sound.

I should get to bed now. Tomorrow is a big day, and I want to be well rested for it. Before I go, we would all love to hear from home. We have already been gone for 13 days and we will not return home for another 12. I think periodic quick notes from home would make each of us feel more connected to our friends and family. We know you are there, reading our entries and praying for us, but we'd all love to hear from you. Thank you, and good night, all.

Random thoughts, part 2

Too many challenging posts. I need some levity. So, part two of Random Thoughts:

1. Seventy-five to eighty degrees in November rocks!
2. We have had some challeging experiences during this process, but I would take those any day over losing my job as did Bob and Bob. You guys are amazing.
3. Did I mention, "Get off the island"?
4. I get sore just looking at some of my kids sleeping positions.
5. It is much harder, aye impossible, to bargain with someone with whom you have made friends.
6. It is one thing to read about the "one child policy" and another to talk to a father under its demands.
7. America does not have the same sense of community as does China. America is worse off for it.
8. Veins are good in my body. Veins are bad in my food. Way gross!
9. Real feathers used on shuttlecocks are far superior than the cheap plastic we use.
10. When in Rome, take a pocket calculator.
11. Being able to scratch an itch on the other side of a guy's head on a motorbike while I am in a cab would generally suggest that we are too close. Here, it only means we have good elbow room.
12. There's no place like home.
13. Paint used for lane markings here is a waste of good paint.
14. We should all be homesick for heaven.
15. Airlines that will only send reconfigured tickets to your HOME address while you are half a world away should not be in business.
16. That airline is just plain stupid.
17. "Stupid" is another word we used to use pre-PC days.
18. I hope that airline stays in business long enough for me to get home!!
19. American Chinese food is disgusting. Chinese Chinese food is quite good.
20. Though as Maren pointed out, a big piece of chocolate cake would sure be good right now.
21. Chinese American food is very disgusting.
22. I will probably still try a pizza while I am here.
23. The thought of being here 12 more days is not very pleasant.
24. Does anybody know what time of day it is?
25. Does anybody really care?
26. I am a nightowl when I am at home or when I am 12 hours around the other side of the world.
27. Why are nightowls called nightowls? Are there any such things as morningowls?
28. Sidewalks here are misnamed. They should be called "siderides". They really are just an extension of the road.
29. I think cabbies drive down the middle of two lanes because they might just happen to want to use the other space, eventually.

I love roller coasters, but...

Greg>
Egads, my emotions are worn out. My childern saw me cry for perhaps the first time ever as I tried to explain some of the changes our family is about to experience. I shared good things and tough things. Then, I tried to help them understand what tomorrow is going to be like for our new little one. I tried to help them imagine what it would be like if tomorrow, mommy and I took them to a stranger, handed them off, and said, "Goodbye. We will never see you again and you will never see anything you have known ever again." So, tomorrow is a day we have geared up for for several years. Wonderful! It will also be one of the hardest days any of us have ever experienced. Horrible. When does the coaster end?

Motherhood musings

Tomorrow, we receive our son. We have waited, planned and prayed for this child for literally a decade or more. My stomach just flutters at the thought. My heart also breaks for Elijah ZuBin. Such a hard time is getting ready to happen in his life.

Picture this: take one of you children at 21 months, almost 2 years old. Now take them to another family who is going to leave the country with him/her forever. How long would your child mourn your family? Elijah is in an orphanage, but that is all the family he knows. The caretakers (called nannnies) tend to be pretty consistent here. He will be leaving all he has ever known behind. We have been working towards this for a decade, but he is clueless. Even if they explain it, he isn't even two years old yet. The explanation will be meaningless. Our prayer has always been that he would be bonded with his nanny. It will make the transition harder in the beginning, but will be better in the long run. Studies have shown that if a child has bonded once, they are much more likely to be able to bond again. Children who never bond in the early years may lose the capacity to bond.

It has been interesting to see the children here and hear their stories. One child, 16 months old, has rejected his new mother so far and will only let his father hold him. This is not uncommon with newly adopted children from orphanages, but it is so hard to watch. She looks so tired and frustrated. She is handling it, but it cannot be easy. The father left the room to go work on some paperwork, and the child cried for 2 hours. She only gets to hold the son she has longed and prayed for when he is sleeping. My heart hurts for her.

One child is 5 turning 6. He is Hep B positive and wasn't abandoned until he was 2. His birth parents got on a train with him, went to the largest city in the province and dropped him off alone. I can only imagine the terror and trauma that child experienced. He has had a male caregiver in the orphanage who was kind enough to explain the transition that was coming: you are going to be adopted, move to America, and be called Bill. Now this is not the name his parents have chosen for him, so that complicated matters as they had to try to convince him his American name is Zach, not Bill. The caregiver did not want to give Zach up. He refused to leave the room when he saw Zach was having a hard time with the transition and the orphanage director had to order him to leave the room. Zach is doing phenomenally well. His parents are believers and have been praying for him for a long time. It will be interesting to see how he heals from the huge traumas he has experienced already in his life.

It is so hard to think about the huge upheavals we are doing in the lives of these children. I keep coming back to this though, God has called us to come and get these children. Elijah ZuBin was created to be raised in our family. God has a purpose for him to be in the USA. Even though there will be great stress and problems as we make this change, it is ultimately for the best. Throughout the Bible, God used adoption to change the lives of people. Moses was adopted by the Pharaoh's daughter and God used that to free His people. Esther was adopted (or at least raised by) her uncle Mordecai and God used that to save His people. We are only saved if we are adopted into the family of God and become His children. Throughout the New Testament, God uses adoption as an illustration of our relationship with Him. This is a practice that was known during that time and was well thought of, or God wouldn't have used it to explain how we are grafted into His family. Adoption is a good thing. I also know that if these children were left here in the orphanages, they would have no future. They would be poorly educated, poorly thought of, have little chance to marry, and would have menial jobs with few benefits if left here. Where Elijah is going, he will be loved, educated, given opportunities, and above all, he will be invited to know Jesus Christ as His Lord and Savior with the opportunity to be adopted once and for all into his eternal family.

Knowing all this. My heart, that of a mother, still aches to hold him, to love him, to cry with him as he mourns the loss of all that he has ever known. We continue to pray that Father God would continue to Father my fatherless child until he has knit his heart with ours.

Cruisin'

We have just returned from a dinner cruise up the Pearl River and back. Yet another vehicle has been added to our list: a riverboat. There was what we think was supposed to be a western buffet, but it was awful. Greg leaned over to me after dinner and asked what we were going to have for dinner. Mac and cheese with unidentified stuff in it. Meatballs made of fish. Deep fried bread chunks that I think resembled croutons, but no salad. Fried rice. There is always fried rice. Everywhere you look there is fried rice. Oh, well. At least you can always fill up on rice. The kids did enjoy the sponge cake. At least the boat ride was worth the RMB68 ($8) per person we spent on it.

We let the children roam freely on the boat. They were grabbed into pictures by locals, posed with repeatedly, and otherwise fawned over. We have said that if we charged RMB10 per picture, we could have paid for the trip! People stare, turn to look, take pictures, touch, laugh, comment, and ask questions when they know enough English. Kailey and Justin are pretty good about it, but they are starting to get tired of it. It is easier here are Shamian Island for them since they are much more used to foreigners.

Here is some perspective for you that I gained tonight. Guangzhou is one of the smaller cities in China. There are between 6-8 million people here depending on your source. New York City has a population of 8 million people. That blew me away. It also explains a lot.

People, not policies

Greg>
Yesterday was a very hard day for me. Several things occured throughout the day that left me with many questions and new ways of looking at things.

First, earlier in the day, I spent about a half an hour talking with a local shop owner. We have talked business with him several times, but this was the first time we were able to speak on a personal level. He and I compared lifestyles. As he asked about my family, he almost apologetically mentioned that he only had one child. He has a little two-year-old girl, but he mentioned that because he and his wife did not have a boy the first time, they can have another child when his daughter is six years old. Whatever the sex of their next child, they have to be done. If they had a boy the first time, they could not have any other children.

Later, in the evening, we had dinner with many of the other new families to join us on the island. They, of course, had their new children with them. As we ate dinner in a Chinese restaurant with a bunch of Americans all with larger families and surrounded by Chinese who could not have such families, I was overwhelmed by a sense of....what?....I still don't know. I tried processing it last night with Maren, but me the social worker, could not identify what was going on in my mind.

The best that I can identify as to what was going on yesterday is that I have now spent more than a week living among the Chinese. I have eaten where they eat. I have shopped where they shop. I have made a friend or two. I believe yesterday was the demarcation point of going from "adopting a child because of a governmental policy" to adopting a child, a person, that was born to someone very much like those I have gotten to know. I am not getting a boy from a hated nation, a poor nation, a lousy policy nation. I am leaving this country, made up of God's creations, with one of their own. When I fly away, I will be taking something from them. And I am left to wonder.

Winter and Worship follow-up

So, I have to disagree with Maren. On the same day she posted that it is so exhausting, I had earlier commented that I could not believe how fast my body adjusted time zones. I feel no ill effects from the time lag. This eases my mind quite a bit because I had been wondering what flipping time zones would do to our boy.

I was very surprised by the worship service this morning. In addition to what Maren wrote, on our way out of the church, they were playing "Here I am to Worship" over the speakers. The church was certainly a throwback in most ways. It was simply one room with no fancy accessories. There was a speaker system and a powerpoint to contrast with the very old building. However, coming out to see the cordoned off area with the police stationed outside the church did make it feel "different".

I spent time after the service talking to the gentleman who spoke. It turns out he is a seminary student with one year left to attend at Guangdong Union Theological Seminary. This fellow clearly had a heart for the Lord. He worked a presentation of the Gospel into his service with a good emphasis on the individual/collective sin of man. This is too often missing in our modern day churches (Hope Church certainly excepted). I was VERY surprised at the clarity of the Gospel presentation and the unashamed teaching of the Word. I read so much about the persecuted church in China that I didn't know what to expect when going. Perhaps it is because we are in a city and an island that specifically caters to Westerners that it is permissible. I was also very surprised at the number of Chinese people attending the service. There had been an earlier service done all in Chinese yet probably 90 percent of attenders were Chinese at our Chinese-American service.

Following my discussion with this student, I took a walk with another fellow who turned out to be a professor at a nearby university. He asked if I knew anyone in the publishing business because he has translated a book into English that focuses on how the Holy Spirit helps us to understand God's Word. I told him I did not, but I asked if I could pray for him (thank you Pastor Larry for your regular example of doing this with others, even strangers). It was a neat moment as we sat in a park, and I was able to spend time praying for him and his efforts.

Hallelujah He Reigns.

Worshipping with the Saints

We just came back from Christ Church here on Shamian Island. It is a small church with straight-back wooden pews dating from the colonial period when the British were here. The place was packed. There were easily 300 people in there from many countries. We knew several of the families, as they were there through AGCI. Many were Chinese.

The service was called the Chinese-English Bible Study, and for good reason. Each time a speaker spoke, there were actually two speakers. The first one would speak in Chinese, the second would translate into English. We sang two song in Chinese. No English translation, but they had the characters up as well as the pinyon so we could sing too. (You have to know things like "qing" is pronounced "ching," but it worked. I have know idea what we were saying, but God was glorified, I am sure.) We also sang "Isn't He" and "Days of Elijah." Oh, my. Singing "Days of Elijah" in China with what I know about the persecuted church here absolutely brought me to tears. Here are the lyrics:

These are the days of Elijah
Declaring the Word of the Lord
And these are the days of your servant Moses
Righteousness being restored
And though these are days of great trials
Of famine and darkness and sword
Still we are the voice in the desert crying
Prepare ye the way of the Lord!

Behold He comes!
Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun!
At the trumpet call
Lift your voice!
It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

And these are the days of Ezekiel
The dry bones becoming as flesh
And these are the days of your servant David
Rebuilding a temple of praise
And these are the days of the harvest
The fields are as white in the world
And we are the labourers in your vineyard
Declaring the word of the Lord!

Behold He comes!
Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun!
At the trumpet call
Lift your voice!
It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

I kept thinking about the song "He Reigns" from the Newsboys. We were truly worshipping with the Asian believers, filled with God's holy fire. They taught from Genesis 27-28 about Jacob fleeing to Laban. The point was that we cannot make heaven on earth, and that we need to have a relationship with God to be right. Very powerful. Greg stayed after to try to talk to the pastor. I'm sure he will have more to share when he returns. I need to go feed the children lunch now.