This entry was actually written last night and saved as a draft to allow more time to be sure in my heart this was OK to post.
I don't even know if this post will see the light of day. Pride for me is insidious and I can't be sure of my motives sometimes. I really believe I only want to praise God, but pride is such a master of disguise. So I will type it, sleep on it and continue to pray about it. Know that if you are reading it, it comes after a lot of prayer and reflection.
Today was a spiritually difficult day for me. I woke up questioning a lot of things. In addition, the day with Elijah was actually much more typical of interactions between a two-year-old and his parent. Namely, I would tell him to do something, and he would refuse...usually with attitude. I would direct him to not do something, and he would continue...always with attitude.
I went out tonight to stop and talk to a shop owner who we know is a Christian. He was not there. I started to head over to the other shop where we have made genuine friends with the owners. This may sound weird to a lot of you, but I truly felt compelled to continue my walk by myself and not go to talk to them just then. I didn't know where I was headed; I just simply walked and prayed.
I ended up sitting on the bank of the Pearl River looking out into the river and praying. I was letting God know that there were aspects of our trip about which I was very disappointed in myself. I had wanted to make a bigger impact and felt like I blew it.
As it happens, I was praying with my eyes open. A lady approached me in a very friendly fashion. I recognized her as someone with whom I had had a brief encounter about a week ago, also next to this river, and also while I was praying. As she had the last time, she offered to provide me with some things that I was not interested "purchasing". As before, I politely declined. This time produced a slightly different result, however. Whereas last time she quickly vanished into the night when she saw I was not accepting, tonight she moved about 7 feet away and stood looking at the river. I stared at her with a growing sense of disbelief, humor, and love. The disbelief was connected to the opportunity God laid before me at the very moment I was expressing a sense of failure towards Him. The humor (I am not sure this is exactly the right feeling) had to do with the simple awe of God and how He works sometimes. And the love was for her person, not her "profession".
I motioned her over and invited her to sit. What she got was not what she expected. I simply began to talk to her and about her. I showed interest in who she was as a person. She asked me some questions about me. Somewhere around this point, she stated that we were friends and that she would no longer ask me to buy what she was selling. I told her that I did what I did in life because of Jesus. To my total surprise, she had never heard of Him. Never heard of the Bible either I soon found out. It is one thing to read about something like this and entirely different to experience someone who never has heard about Jesus. I did the best I could to present her with the Gospel though the language barrier did make it difficult.
Various sources have verified that such sharing can be construed as a crime here including a source living in country. Despite this, she listened and did not brush me off. I would love to say that the whole thing ended in a dramatic fashion, but it did not. We talked for awhile longer and she got up to leave. I got one last chance to encourage her and remind her that she was loved. I continue to pray for her and that her experience with me will be part of a series of events to lead her down a better path. I am also grateful to the Lord for edifying me at just the moment I was reaching out to Him and feeling like a failure. He teaches me so many lessons about how to be a father to my own children. He is...He simply is.
No comments:
Post a Comment