Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Pics from the days
Hopefully this will work out the way I intend it. If it doesn't, my intentions are simply to post some photos with some captions that will capture in some way the few days we have had thus far.
This is Justin sacked out big-time in the airport. Lots of travel, little sleep.
This is the nice lady who sold us some of the most tasty oranges I have ever had. Thank you nice lady.
Poverty in America is very different from poverty outside of America.
Packin' 'em in!
Perched on the second floor balcony of a cafe overlooking part of the city. She was, um, noticed!
Look closely. See the foot of the one driver shoving the other driver out of the way?!!! NASCAR thinks they have the market on close driving. They've never been over here!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOVE OUTTA THE WAY. Yes, cows really are revered here. Yes, they really do wander in the streets. Yes, they wander in streets in downtowns as busy as you have ever been in. Potholes or cow patties? Which would you rather dodge?
History: Reborn
My wife stated it perfectly when she started her post with "What a day". Never have I experienced something like today. Waking up to the email about problematic test results was disheartening, but in some ways not a shock. The more I am around adoptions, the more I find that smoothness and order are the exceptions rather than the rule. I wish the news were different, but it doesn't change our goal in the least. It may add some interesting layers, but that is all they are...layers to the story. It is my prayer that additional testing will allow us to return with her as scheduled, but I understand that it may not happen, and I can accept that.
Going to the orphanage was a dream come true since we first started this process. Other than getting our daughter, the only thing I wanted out of this trip was to visit the orphanage and visit the finding spot. Going to the orphanage also further stoked my desire to one day run an orphanage in another country. But don't tell my wife that. She really likes the good ol' U.S. of A.!! She doesn't like my talk of emigrating one day to do that kind of work:)
I wasn't sure how I would take being at the ophanage. I really didn't know what to expect. Would I be overwhelmed? Would I be callous? Would I never want to leave? Would I want to take them all home? I was curiously surprised that I didn't have this emotional desire to take them all home. I walked away comfortable with the idea that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now in my life.
The orphanage was very clean and well-run. The kids were known by their caretakers and loved by them. They remembered little Sneha very well. It is interesting to hear her described as quiet and timid as that is not the description we have read about so many times.
Here is something else I saw at the orphanage that really made me happy.
Kailey holding some of the children.
Justin playing and laughing with some of them.
Elijah not having emotional triggers to his own time in an orphanage but instead clearly identifying himself as part of a family.
My kids were playing with and touching children much of the world doesn't care about. Children much of the world thinks are worthless.
Children a majority of the world wouldn't even touch.
Children many say should just have been killed.
My kids didn't see deformity and become scared My kids didn't see drool and mangled teeth and recoil in horror. My kids saw wonderful creations of God. Children just like themselves but born to a different set of circumstances. My kids embraced them, literally. I am very proud of my kids today.
The experience at St. Johns was simply amazing. The set of circumstances that went into play to lead us to the NICU to see where she had spent her first days and to talk to people who had a direct hand in caring for her makes me shake my head in wonder.
The medical director who first got the ball rolling for us was hilarious. He was one of those naturally funny, engaging, charismatic sort of people that after spending a few minutes with, you just want to spend a whole bunch of time with. He could have ordered people around with his job title, but he didn't do that. He had the knack for creating work for people and making them feel good about barging in on their day. Dr. Sanjiv Lewin was a huge help today. He got us in touch with Dr. Saudamini who was the lady who told us about our Twinkles. Thank you doctors.
Oh yeah, one more thing I forgot to write when I first posted this. The title, History: Reborn has to do with my thoughts leaving St. Johns Hospital after learning all this information about Sneha's history. As I walked away, I was struck by the thought that had we not showed up, had we not been directed to the people to whom we got to speak, this part of her history would have faded into the place where all forgotten thoughts go. Our unannounced arrival and a few key words, triggered memories in people that had been stored in some part of their brain from over four years ago. Those memories, once significant, then fading away, now have become significant once again. Our daughter's history was reborn on this day. The memories now form a past. A past filled with gaps to be sure, but a past vastly greater and more organized than even twelve hours ago.
Going to the orphanage was a dream come true since we first started this process. Other than getting our daughter, the only thing I wanted out of this trip was to visit the orphanage and visit the finding spot. Going to the orphanage also further stoked my desire to one day run an orphanage in another country. But don't tell my wife that. She really likes the good ol' U.S. of A.!! She doesn't like my talk of emigrating one day to do that kind of work:)
I wasn't sure how I would take being at the ophanage. I really didn't know what to expect. Would I be overwhelmed? Would I be callous? Would I never want to leave? Would I want to take them all home? I was curiously surprised that I didn't have this emotional desire to take them all home. I walked away comfortable with the idea that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now in my life.
The orphanage was very clean and well-run. The kids were known by their caretakers and loved by them. They remembered little Sneha very well. It is interesting to hear her described as quiet and timid as that is not the description we have read about so many times.
Here is something else I saw at the orphanage that really made me happy.
Justin playing and laughing with some of them.
Elijah not having emotional triggers to his own time in an orphanage but instead clearly identifying himself as part of a family.
My kids were playing with and touching children much of the world doesn't care about. Children much of the world thinks are worthless.
Children a majority of the world wouldn't even touch.
Children many say should just have been killed.
My kids didn't see deformity and become scared My kids didn't see drool and mangled teeth and recoil in horror. My kids saw wonderful creations of God. Children just like themselves but born to a different set of circumstances. My kids embraced them, literally. I am very proud of my kids today.
The experience at St. Johns was simply amazing. The set of circumstances that went into play to lead us to the NICU to see where she had spent her first days and to talk to people who had a direct hand in caring for her makes me shake my head in wonder.
The medical director who first got the ball rolling for us was hilarious. He was one of those naturally funny, engaging, charismatic sort of people that after spending a few minutes with, you just want to spend a whole bunch of time with. He could have ordered people around with his job title, but he didn't do that. He had the knack for creating work for people and making them feel good about barging in on their day. Dr. Sanjiv Lewin was a huge help today. He got us in touch with Dr. Saudamini who was the lady who told us about our Twinkles. Thank you doctors.
Oh yeah, one more thing I forgot to write when I first posted this. The title, History: Reborn has to do with my thoughts leaving St. Johns Hospital after learning all this information about Sneha's history. As I walked away, I was struck by the thought that had we not showed up, had we not been directed to the people to whom we got to speak, this part of her history would have faded into the place where all forgotten thoughts go. Our unannounced arrival and a few key words, triggered memories in people that had been stored in some part of their brain from over four years ago. Those memories, once significant, then fading away, now have become significant once again. Our daughter's history was reborn on this day. The memories now form a past. A past filled with gaps to be sure, but a past vastly greater and more organized than even twelve hours ago.
Twinkles, the Baby in the Bright Green Blanket
What a day, what a day.
We started this morning working to get out the door in order to visit Swanthana Orphanage and St. John's Medical College. My mother met at my door a little blurry-eyed. She wanted to know if I had a clue when my boys, who are staying in their room, woke for the day. I said no, but that I suspected it was after when I woke at 4:30 am. She snorted and corrected me. Twelve-thirty. AM. Elijah woke up, informed them he was awake and that it was morning, then did not go back to sleep. Oh, boy!
Next, we were faced with an email indicating that Arilyn Sneha has tested positive for TB and is now undergoing treatment (a medication she will have to take for 6-9 months). We do not yet know what this means for her being allowed to immigrate into the United States in a timely manner. Prayers are greatly appreciated on this manner. There is, apparently, an established protocol in a situation like this, but it is fairly new and rather untested. We will learn more tonight when we speak to Holt International.
We left with our driver before 9 am to go visit Swanthana Orphanage where Arilyn Sneha lived for her first 2.5 years of her life.
What a blessing that visit was. We were able to speak extensively with Sister Regina who runs the orphanage. They have beds for 50 and currently care for 38 girls, most of whom are mentally or physically handicapped. They have 12 workers including nurses and physical therapists. The orphanage was clean and wonderfully noisy. Sister Regina shared with us that Swanthana was founded in September 2006 and that Sneha and another little girl named Divya were the first girls there in October 2006. She said that Sneha was perfect, developed on target, and was timid and shy while she was there. The staff was so happy to meet us and know that she is going to be adopted.
Divya
Arilyn Sneha's Crib at Swanthana
Swanthana does so much with so little. While we were there, a woman came and delivered a van full of donated diapers, wipes, food, and other supplies. This woman asked me why we were adopting when we already had a child (she had only seen Elijah at this point.) We corrected her and said we had three children. She was then surprised and wondered why we would adopt at all, much less again. I told her that we believed every orphan should have a family. After the woman left, Sister Regina told us that many people are willing to donate supplies, which is good and helpful, but not many want to donate money, which they also need to pay bills and buy other items. We were blessed to be able to give a small donation from our family and from a friend.
We have Swanthana's email address now and will be able to continue to do what we can to help support our daughter's first home and to share with them pictures of Sneha as she grows. We are so thankful we were able to visit and interact with the girls there. I did ask what would happen to the girls as they age and become adults. Sister Regina simply spread her hands and said, "They will stay here as long as they need to. Where else would they go?"
We left Swanthana and traveled to St. John's Medical College and Hospital. Elijah fell asleep in the car on the way. Deeply asleep. At St. John's, we tried to find where Arilyn Sneha had been left as a newborn. The only information we had was from her initial social history report, "She was found abandoned near the public passage of St. John's Residential Quarters." We began at the Dean's Office, but it was closed for lunch. Rather than wander with us, my mother volunteered to sit in the cooler hallway outside the Dean's Office and hold the sleeping Elijah. The rest of us left to wander a bit and hope to find the right spot.
A gentleman sat near Mom and inquired about why a middle aged white woman was holding a sleeping Chinese boy in India. She explained that her daughter was meeting with the Dean to learn more about an infant abandoned at the Hospital residence four and a half years ago. She explained that her daughter and family were in the process of adopting the little girl and were researching her history so that she could have it when she was older. At about this point, I came out of the Dean's office to explain that the Dean had contacted the Social Services department for us and that we should come back tomorrow to talk to the social worker. The gentleman then spoke up and said, "No-no, we can do better than that," and he started making phone calls.
He started with the NICU, where she spent four days, explaining to them who we were and what we were looking for. He made arrangements for us to go up to the unit and speak to the team on shift who was actually employed there in October 2006. He assured them they had time to meet with us. As he was talking, we were most amused to hear him say, "Well, now that you mention it, I am here with a big gang of white people and not an Indian baby in sight!" He also described Ohio as a small village in the United States. I suspect he has spent some time in the USA, judging by his English. Turns out, this was Dr. Sanjiv Lewin, the head of paediatrics of the hospital. Nice.
He then flagged down a med student and told him to lead us over to the NICU. Once there, we met with a doctor who politely listened to what Greg and I were looking for: people who had worked with Sneha and might know where she had been found. She said that they usually remembered the abandoned infants but could not quite place ours until we told her where she had been found. Then she asked if she had been found in a bright green blanket. We did not know. She said it must be the same baby as the timing was right. She said this baby was so adorable and sweet that they had a stream of people coming by asking if they could just take "The Baby in the Bright Green Blanket" home with them. She had longer hair than a baby would normally have and was just beautiful. She cried a lot but stopped as soon as she was picked up. They called her "Twinkles." The social worker at the hospital found an orphanage for her and transfered her after four days. She was thrilled to learn that "Twinkles" was doing well and was going to be adopted. She then drew a map for us showing us the buildings she had been found near.
We walked quite a ways to those residential quarters and were able to record the location for our daughter to see when she is older. The location was a very busy area and she was found by a nurse on her way to work in the early hours of the morning. She was estimated to only be a few days old. We also met a nurse at the hospital who had cared for Sneha who guessed that her biological mother was a single woman who could not handle the stigma of having a child out of wedlock. That does not go over well in India. That has always been my theory too.
What a blessed day. We were able to accomplish our goals and then some. We had not expected to be able to meet some of our daughter's initial caregivers, but because Elijah decided that 12:30 am is the new 7:00 am and then napped later in the day, we were able to be in the right place at the right time to connect with just the right people. God is so amazing to have perfectly orchestrated the whole circumstance. Praise Him.
We started this morning working to get out the door in order to visit Swanthana Orphanage and St. John's Medical College. My mother met at my door a little blurry-eyed. She wanted to know if I had a clue when my boys, who are staying in their room, woke for the day. I said no, but that I suspected it was after when I woke at 4:30 am. She snorted and corrected me. Twelve-thirty. AM. Elijah woke up, informed them he was awake and that it was morning, then did not go back to sleep. Oh, boy!
Next, we were faced with an email indicating that Arilyn Sneha has tested positive for TB and is now undergoing treatment (a medication she will have to take for 6-9 months). We do not yet know what this means for her being allowed to immigrate into the United States in a timely manner. Prayers are greatly appreciated on this manner. There is, apparently, an established protocol in a situation like this, but it is fairly new and rather untested. We will learn more tonight when we speak to Holt International.
We left with our driver before 9 am to go visit Swanthana Orphanage where Arilyn Sneha lived for her first 2.5 years of her life.
What a blessing that visit was. We were able to speak extensively with Sister Regina who runs the orphanage. They have beds for 50 and currently care for 38 girls, most of whom are mentally or physically handicapped. They have 12 workers including nurses and physical therapists. The orphanage was clean and wonderfully noisy. Sister Regina shared with us that Swanthana was founded in September 2006 and that Sneha and another little girl named Divya were the first girls there in October 2006. She said that Sneha was perfect, developed on target, and was timid and shy while she was there. The staff was so happy to meet us and know that she is going to be adopted.
Swanthana does so much with so little. While we were there, a woman came and delivered a van full of donated diapers, wipes, food, and other supplies. This woman asked me why we were adopting when we already had a child (she had only seen Elijah at this point.) We corrected her and said we had three children. She was then surprised and wondered why we would adopt at all, much less again. I told her that we believed every orphan should have a family. After the woman left, Sister Regina told us that many people are willing to donate supplies, which is good and helpful, but not many want to donate money, which they also need to pay bills and buy other items. We were blessed to be able to give a small donation from our family and from a friend.
We have Swanthana's email address now and will be able to continue to do what we can to help support our daughter's first home and to share with them pictures of Sneha as she grows. We are so thankful we were able to visit and interact with the girls there. I did ask what would happen to the girls as they age and become adults. Sister Regina simply spread her hands and said, "They will stay here as long as they need to. Where else would they go?"
We left Swanthana and traveled to St. John's Medical College and Hospital. Elijah fell asleep in the car on the way. Deeply asleep. At St. John's, we tried to find where Arilyn Sneha had been left as a newborn. The only information we had was from her initial social history report, "She was found abandoned near the public passage of St. John's Residential Quarters." We began at the Dean's Office, but it was closed for lunch. Rather than wander with us, my mother volunteered to sit in the cooler hallway outside the Dean's Office and hold the sleeping Elijah. The rest of us left to wander a bit and hope to find the right spot.
A gentleman sat near Mom and inquired about why a middle aged white woman was holding a sleeping Chinese boy in India. She explained that her daughter was meeting with the Dean to learn more about an infant abandoned at the Hospital residence four and a half years ago. She explained that her daughter and family were in the process of adopting the little girl and were researching her history so that she could have it when she was older. At about this point, I came out of the Dean's office to explain that the Dean had contacted the Social Services department for us and that we should come back tomorrow to talk to the social worker. The gentleman then spoke up and said, "No-no, we can do better than that," and he started making phone calls.
He started with the NICU, where she spent four days, explaining to them who we were and what we were looking for. He made arrangements for us to go up to the unit and speak to the team on shift who was actually employed there in October 2006. He assured them they had time to meet with us. As he was talking, we were most amused to hear him say, "Well, now that you mention it, I am here with a big gang of white people and not an Indian baby in sight!" He also described Ohio as a small village in the United States. I suspect he has spent some time in the USA, judging by his English. Turns out, this was Dr. Sanjiv Lewin, the head of paediatrics of the hospital. Nice.
He then flagged down a med student and told him to lead us over to the NICU. Once there, we met with a doctor who politely listened to what Greg and I were looking for: people who had worked with Sneha and might know where she had been found. She said that they usually remembered the abandoned infants but could not quite place ours until we told her where she had been found. Then she asked if she had been found in a bright green blanket. We did not know. She said it must be the same baby as the timing was right. She said this baby was so adorable and sweet that they had a stream of people coming by asking if they could just take "The Baby in the Bright Green Blanket" home with them. She had longer hair than a baby would normally have and was just beautiful. She cried a lot but stopped as soon as she was picked up. They called her "Twinkles." The social worker at the hospital found an orphanage for her and transfered her after four days. She was thrilled to learn that "Twinkles" was doing well and was going to be adopted. She then drew a map for us showing us the buildings she had been found near.
We walked quite a ways to those residential quarters and were able to record the location for our daughter to see when she is older. The location was a very busy area and she was found by a nurse on her way to work in the early hours of the morning. She was estimated to only be a few days old. We also met a nurse at the hospital who had cared for Sneha who guessed that her biological mother was a single woman who could not handle the stigma of having a child out of wedlock. That does not go over well in India. That has always been my theory too.
What a blessed day. We were able to accomplish our goals and then some. We had not expected to be able to meet some of our daughter's initial caregivers, but because Elijah decided that 12:30 am is the new 7:00 am and then napped later in the day, we were able to be in the right place at the right time to connect with just the right people. God is so amazing to have perfectly orchestrated the whole circumstance. Praise Him.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Shopping and Sightseeing
I figure I mind as well get caught up in recording the trip, because it is only going to pick up speed from here! Today we tried not to overdo it. We know we have limited time to shop and see what we want to see since once we get little Miss Arilyn Sneha, we will decidedly have to curtail extra curriculars. We hired a driver to take us around for the week (reportedly the safest way to go in India.) He is great. He told us to call him Ali (which gave us a clue for his religious leanings). We told him the kinds of things we wanted to buy and he took us to some terrific stores. 
In China, there is a whole island that has basically been set up to meet the needs of American adopting children there. You can buy nearly any souvenirs you want while on an evening stroll. India only has about 400 US adoption annually and about 10% of those are couples not of Indian origin, so there is nothing established in the process or in traditions (no Red Couch for pictures :) ) We knew we wanted to pick up some Indian clothes, some carvings, and other handmade items to represent her culture of origin. The items are way more expensive here than they are in China, but still beautiful. We will not be purchasing as much and are looking for the best to choose.
The kids did a great job hanging around in stores and checking things out. They are fascinated by the scenes on the street, the motorcycles, the crowding of the vehicles, the lack of lanes, and all the honking horns. Kailey especially enjoyed today. She loves to shop and keeps saying how much she loves visiting foreign countries.
We ended up kind of skipping breakfast and ate lunch at a coffee shop that blended India cuisine with sandwiches. Pretty good. Dinner, we ate ate the hotel. Ended up with sandwiches again as they don't actually start dinner service until 7 pm. That must be the British influence. No Tea time, but a late dinner. We wanted the kids in bed long before a 7 pm dinner would have allowed, so sandwiches it was.
Tomorrow is a history recording day. We are going to visit Swanthana Orphanage, where she spent her first 2.5 years. It houses around 30 mentally and physically challenged girls who were abandoned. That will be an interesting experience for all, but especially for the children who have never seen anything like it before. Then again, I haven't either. After our visit to Swanthana, we will go to St. John's Medical College to see if we can document photographically where she was found as a newborn. I also hope to find people on staff who may have been there when she was hospitalized to gain more information of her past.
It will not be an easy day, but oh, so important to record her history while we can.
In China, there is a whole island that has basically been set up to meet the needs of American adopting children there. You can buy nearly any souvenirs you want while on an evening stroll. India only has about 400 US adoption annually and about 10% of those are couples not of Indian origin, so there is nothing established in the process or in traditions (no Red Couch for pictures :) ) We knew we wanted to pick up some Indian clothes, some carvings, and other handmade items to represent her culture of origin. The items are way more expensive here than they are in China, but still beautiful. We will not be purchasing as much and are looking for the best to choose.
The kids did a great job hanging around in stores and checking things out. They are fascinated by the scenes on the street, the motorcycles, the crowding of the vehicles, the lack of lanes, and all the honking horns. Kailey especially enjoyed today. She loves to shop and keeps saying how much she loves visiting foreign countries.
We ended up kind of skipping breakfast and ate lunch at a coffee shop that blended India cuisine with sandwiches. Pretty good. Dinner, we ate ate the hotel. Ended up with sandwiches again as they don't actually start dinner service until 7 pm. That must be the British influence. No Tea time, but a late dinner. We wanted the kids in bed long before a 7 pm dinner would have allowed, so sandwiches it was.
Tomorrow is a history recording day. We are going to visit Swanthana Orphanage, where she spent her first 2.5 years. It houses around 30 mentally and physically challenged girls who were abandoned. That will be an interesting experience for all, but especially for the children who have never seen anything like it before. Then again, I haven't either. After our visit to Swanthana, we will go to St. John's Medical College to see if we can document photographically where she was found as a newborn. I also hope to find people on staff who may have been there when she was hospitalized to gain more information of her past.
It will not be an easy day, but oh, so important to record her history while we can.
The Arduous Journey
I don't know if this trip was actually longer than the trip to China, or I am just older, or if traveling with 3 children is harder, or if I am just older. Man, this has been hard.
We arrived at the Cincinnati airport a couple of hours ahead of time and began the check in progress. It was rather unsettling to have the first words spoken to us by airport personnel to be, "These three passports are invalid." What? You've got to be kidding me! Turns out that we had not had the kids sign their passports yet, so they were not valid yet. Kailey and Justin had to sign theirs, but Elijah was fine not having his signed. After my heart started beating again, we were able to successfully check our luggage all the way through to Bangalore. We passed through security with barely a hitch, then got to go sit in the gate for an hour and a half.
The flight to Dulles was blissfully short in a plane only 3 seats wide. I think the Wright flyer was larger than that plane. We had been a little concerned about how Elijah would handle these flights, but, much to the delight of the business travelers around us, he just giggled during take off. Hysterically. With glee. It was great fun.
We landed in Washington DC and deplaned to find my parents waiting for us at the gate. We hurried over to the next gate on our itinerary just in time to board the next plane. This United flight was pretty good. We had individual screens in our seat backs and our choice of movies and tv shows to watch. Very nice. This leg of the trip to Frankfurt was 7.5 hours long. The kids did a great job. Kailey and Justin entertained themselves without a problem. Elijah watched Tangled, ate dinner, then slept for 4 hours (with a little pharmacological assistance.)
We landed in Frankfurt and deplaned only to have to walk across the tarmac to load a very crowded bus to get to a gate. We then wandered in the Frankfurt airport for five hours, looking for food and for our next gate. We ate some very expensive Burger King nuggets, rode the shuttle train a couple of times, and dozed at the gate.
Getting through security was interesting in Frankfurt. We got to keep our shoes on, but ended up in the back office with a stern looking security officer who wiped our portable DVD players down, checking for explosive residue. I guess we should have pulled those out of the suitcase to send through the scanners.
The flight from Frankfurt to Bangalore was a grueling 8 hours and 50 minutes. The seats were hard and uncomfortable. There were only 4 tvs for the cabin. The food was Indian/Asian, spicy and unfamiliar. The movie they showed was "Burlesque." How is that even remotely family friendly? I actually watched it. They did not edit out the language either, and nothing could be done to help the visuals. I was thankful Justin, in particular, slept through a good chunk of it, then engrossed himself with his Gameboy. They also showed two Bollywood movies with English subtitles; cheesy, but acceptable. At one point, I had hoped we were nearly there and was dismayed to learn we still had 4 hours left. I nearly cried. It was a little disconcerting to figure out we were flying over Iran but made it through without even a warning shot. ;)
The children were amazing the entire trip. No complaints. No arguments. No meltdowns. No problems. Just wonderfully behaved, self entertaining children. Wow. We are so impressed.
Upon arrival in Bangalore, we worked our way through security (did we really need to pass through security to get out of the airport after having gone through it twice to get that far?), baggage claim, and customs. We have to keep filling out forms and signing slips of paper and handing over our passports to be allowed into the country. Good thing none of us has even a drop of Pakistani blood in us. We would never have gotten through.
We did not have our requested cars from the hotel waiting for us, so we secured two taxis for the 40 minute trip to the Jayamahal Palace. After arriving, we had to work out paying the cabbie (in Rupee, which we had not exchanged yet), get rooms with enough beds in them, and get settled. It was 3 am India time before Greg and I crawled into bed. And the good news is, we slept solidly for four whole hours before neither of us could sleep any longer and ended up getting up for the day. Man. I am tired.
I may be getting old, but that was a heck of a long trip.
Now that's just cool!
(g.r.)
So I woke this morning (after a mere 4 hours of sleep...love jet lag or whatever it is that wouldn't allow me to sleep longer)to a bird call that I did not recognize. After getting changed, I went outside to see if I could figure out what in the world was making that noise. Check this out! A parrot! A big, bright green one like you would see at the zoo. This thing was just hanging out in the tree in front of our room. I couldn't believe it. When I went to the front desk to ask about it, the gentleman did not recognize the word "parrot". When I asked if I really saw a large, green bird, he assured me I did. I expressed my enjoyment and commented that I had only really ever seen them in the zoo. He looked at me like I was a bit daft!
So I woke this morning (after a mere 4 hours of sleep...love jet lag or whatever it is that wouldn't allow me to sleep longer)to a bird call that I did not recognize. After getting changed, I went outside to see if I could figure out what in the world was making that noise. Check this out! A parrot! A big, bright green one like you would see at the zoo. This thing was just hanging out in the tree in front of our room. I couldn't believe it. When I went to the front desk to ask about it, the gentleman did not recognize the word "parrot". When I asked if I really saw a large, green bird, he assured me I did. I expressed my enjoyment and commented that I had only really ever seen them in the zoo. He looked at me like I was a bit daft!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Short and Sweet
(G.R.)
We arrived, exhausted, but really no worse for the wear. No real snags so far, at least none that couldn't be taken care of fairly easily. Lots to describe already, but as mentioned above, very very tired. It is 5:17 pm back home and 2:47 in the morning here. We have traveled many thousands of miles since leaving home yesterday at 11am.
We arrived, exhausted, but really no worse for the wear. No real snags so far, at least none that couldn't be taken care of fairly easily. Lots to describe already, but as mentioned above, very very tired. It is 5:17 pm back home and 2:47 in the morning here. We have traveled many thousands of miles since leaving home yesterday at 11am.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
One track mind
(G.R.)
I am a bit like a horse with blinders on right now. Seemingly for a day and a half, we have been just about an hour or so away from being complete. The last time I thought that was this afternoon. It is now midnight, and I still have to make a quick trip to the store tomorrow morning to buy something that we have already purchased but can no longer locate. We did get to take a small date tonight. We aren't sure when we will be able to get away for another one.
I have gotten my fill of good old American food the past two days. Last night we were treated to LaRosa's pizza (thank you Haneys). This afternoon, my parents met me for a quick visit and treated me to buffalo wings (thank you Rauschs). Tonight, we took the kids to Five Guys for one last juicy, greasy, sloppy burger before traveling to the land of the Holy Cows (thank you us). And tonight for our date, Maren and I hit Graeters for some Mint Cookies and Cream with Bittersweet fudge (thank you various gift card givers). If I end up in a food coma on the plane, somebody needs to give me some air.
But, I guess I have just sidetracked myself from my one track mind. Anyway, at this point, I am barely thinking about anything other than the next 48 hours or so as we head to India. I know there is a whole adventure on the other side, but the entire preparation of getting ready to go has consumed nearly all of my brain cells. Well, almost all of them. I am looking forward to a tasty burger when I get back!
I am a bit like a horse with blinders on right now. Seemingly for a day and a half, we have been just about an hour or so away from being complete. The last time I thought that was this afternoon. It is now midnight, and I still have to make a quick trip to the store tomorrow morning to buy something that we have already purchased but can no longer locate. We did get to take a small date tonight. We aren't sure when we will be able to get away for another one.
I have gotten my fill of good old American food the past two days. Last night we were treated to LaRosa's pizza (thank you Haneys). This afternoon, my parents met me for a quick visit and treated me to buffalo wings (thank you Rauschs). Tonight, we took the kids to Five Guys for one last juicy, greasy, sloppy burger before traveling to the land of the Holy Cows (thank you us). And tonight for our date, Maren and I hit Graeters for some Mint Cookies and Cream with Bittersweet fudge (thank you various gift card givers). If I end up in a food coma on the plane, somebody needs to give me some air.
But, I guess I have just sidetracked myself from my one track mind. Anyway, at this point, I am barely thinking about anything other than the next 48 hours or so as we head to India. I know there is a whole adventure on the other side, but the entire preparation of getting ready to go has consumed nearly all of my brain cells. Well, almost all of them. I am looking forward to a tasty burger when I get back!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Taking bets
(G.R.)
Our family is taking bets to see who gets "Delhi Belly" first (pronounced "Dell-ee). Unlike most friendly gambling ventures, it is the loser who gets the pot.
(HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH...I crack myself up)
Our family is taking bets to see who gets "Delhi Belly" first (pronounced "Dell-ee). Unlike most friendly gambling ventures, it is the loser who gets the pot.
(HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH...I crack myself up)
Bags lined up and ready for takeoff
(G.R.)
Well, we have pretty much done it. All the bags are pretty much ready to go except for the morning toiletries. They are lined up and ready for takeoff. Hopefully all of them land on the same runway at the same time.
The Trip of a Lifetime, but Not a Vacation
We are moving quickly now, working to pack, gather the final details, and leave the house clean for a more pleasant return home. Packing is nearly finished: only the carry-on entertainments need to finish charging and being gathered and toiletries into packed luggage. We leave for the airport in less than 36 hours. Wow.
People keep asking us if we are excited. People also keep telling us to have fun in India. My internal reactions to these comments are interesting. We have been anticipating, waiting,and praying for this time to come for so long. We, of course, are excited, but I am not excited in the same way we were as we prepared to go to Disney.
Here's the thing: I am not anticipating this to be a vacation. This is not exactly going to be a fun trip. It will be amazing, life-changing, faith-deepening, and a whirlwind. It will be an adventure for sure. I expect to grow much closer to my Lord and to my family. But fun? I am not so sure about that.
In my mind, this is kind of like anticipating labor for the second (or fourth) time. When a mom is expecting her first child, there is decidedly an excitement...and a fear of the unknown of the birthing process. She has no real idea what to expect, no matter what classes she has taken (and keep in mind I have been teaching these classes for almost 9 years now.) As a mom approaches her subsequent labors, there is also an excitement, but also a feeling of, "I'm not really sure I want to go through labor again. It really isn't that fun." The rewards are decidedly worth it, but the process just can't be described as fun. That is where I am sitting. I've done this adoption trip once, and it wasn't really that fun.
As a doula, a childbirth educator, a biological mom, and an adoptive mom, I have always said that pregnancy and birth are faster and less painful than adoption. You can generally guess the timing of the arrival of a birth within a month. This adoption process has dragged on more than 6 months longer than had been guessed originally. The labor process for birth can be hard and exhausting with its own unique pain, but so does the trip to receive an adopted child (especially for international adoption.)
We have been walking the path of life for the last four years with a scared, wounded child, helping him to heal from his experiences in his first two years. We have seen so much love, growth,change and hope. We have also seen anger, pain, and fear. We will be adding another child with similar wounds. We do not know what she is like, but we do eagerly look forward to getting to know her.
Am I looking forward to this trip? Definitely. Am I excited? Absolutely. Will it be fun? It will have its moments, I am sure. Will it be a vacation? Doubtful. Would I do it again? Without a second thought.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
It's not what you know. It's who you know.
(Greg here)
Many moons ago when I was a young pup and knew absolutely everything there was to possibly know, I had a wise friend (hi'ya Bob) remark to me one time, "It's not what you know. It's who you know". Now, you have to understand. This was back when I was in high school. I was generally earning straight A's, I was taking literally every accelerated and advanced course that my high school had to offer, and was making an ultimately unsuccessful run at being valedictorian. I was also earning a paycheck at a local pizza joint while maintaining a varsity sport. So as you can see...I pretty much knew everything there was to know. So when my good friend (an adult with a heart as big as Texas to guide high school youth down proper paths) remarked to me one day that it wasn't always what I knew but was often who I knew that was important, I scoffed. I did so silently because I greatly respected him, but I was sure that all that work I was doing in high school would be way more important than simply knowing certain people.
I once thought the thing he taught me originated with him. I later learned that he was passing on wisdom that he had gleaned elsewhere. That may have been my first clue that perhaps I really didn't know everything after all. Over the years, I became more and more aware of the truth of that statement. At times it makes me sad. At times it makes me mad. This morning, it made me ecstatic.
We have mandatory medical appointments that we need to have Sneha attend while we are in India. The appointments must be 48 hours apart to allow for proper TB reading and must take place prior to our US Consulate appointment where we can obtain her visa into the US.
Allegedly, we are supposed to be able to call the med center and make the appointments. That didn't work. Then, we were supposed to be able to send them an email to schedule the appointments. That didn't work. Then we were supposed to be able to engage the assistance of the US Consulate. That didn't work. Then we got a phone number to a specific person who was supposed to be able to help us. That didn't work. We tried several of those routes several times. Nothing worked. Time was ticking.
After trying to do everything in our power, we went to Plan H. We contacted the director of one of the adoption agencies for whom I contract as an adoption assessor. She is from India. She returns there fairly regularly. Late last night, I emailed her our dilemma. She got up first thing this morning and got to work trying to solve the problem. Soon enough, she was able to successfully schedule our appointments on the very days we were trying to get them set for. Yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy Rima. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
She then asked if there was anything else for which she could provide us assistance. As a matter of fact there was. We have been hoping very much to be able to visit the orphanage to be able take pictures and video and to try to interview people who may have known our little Arilyn Sneha. I was able to link her the information from the orphanage website that included phone numbers. She called back a short while later stating that she successfully reached Sister Regina (the head mistress) and secured permission for us to visit on either March 30 or March 31...again, the exact days we were hoping to be able to make that trip. We expect to go on March 30 in the morning during the 10-12 window in case we want to go back later that day or the next.
We are so excited about both prospects. The medical appointments are a necessary step toward bringing her home. The orphanage visit is a fantastic opportunity for us to gather some historical information with which to provide her as much of a background as we possibly can.
There are also obvious parallels from the title statement to God. I have been thinking about man's wisdom versus God's wisdom. I have been thinking about what I think I know versus the God I know. To know and be known...what an amazing thought.
Many moons ago when I was a young pup and knew absolutely everything there was to possibly know, I had a wise friend (hi'ya Bob) remark to me one time, "It's not what you know. It's who you know". Now, you have to understand. This was back when I was in high school. I was generally earning straight A's, I was taking literally every accelerated and advanced course that my high school had to offer, and was making an ultimately unsuccessful run at being valedictorian. I was also earning a paycheck at a local pizza joint while maintaining a varsity sport. So as you can see...I pretty much knew everything there was to know. So when my good friend (an adult with a heart as big as Texas to guide high school youth down proper paths) remarked to me one day that it wasn't always what I knew but was often who I knew that was important, I scoffed. I did so silently because I greatly respected him, but I was sure that all that work I was doing in high school would be way more important than simply knowing certain people.
I once thought the thing he taught me originated with him. I later learned that he was passing on wisdom that he had gleaned elsewhere. That may have been my first clue that perhaps I really didn't know everything after all. Over the years, I became more and more aware of the truth of that statement. At times it makes me sad. At times it makes me mad. This morning, it made me ecstatic.
We have mandatory medical appointments that we need to have Sneha attend while we are in India. The appointments must be 48 hours apart to allow for proper TB reading and must take place prior to our US Consulate appointment where we can obtain her visa into the US.
Allegedly, we are supposed to be able to call the med center and make the appointments. That didn't work. Then, we were supposed to be able to send them an email to schedule the appointments. That didn't work. Then we were supposed to be able to engage the assistance of the US Consulate. That didn't work. Then we got a phone number to a specific person who was supposed to be able to help us. That didn't work. We tried several of those routes several times. Nothing worked. Time was ticking.
After trying to do everything in our power, we went to Plan H. We contacted the director of one of the adoption agencies for whom I contract as an adoption assessor. She is from India. She returns there fairly regularly. Late last night, I emailed her our dilemma. She got up first thing this morning and got to work trying to solve the problem. Soon enough, she was able to successfully schedule our appointments on the very days we were trying to get them set for. Yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy Rima. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
She then asked if there was anything else for which she could provide us assistance. As a matter of fact there was. We have been hoping very much to be able to visit the orphanage to be able take pictures and video and to try to interview people who may have known our little Arilyn Sneha. I was able to link her the information from the orphanage website that included phone numbers. She called back a short while later stating that she successfully reached Sister Regina (the head mistress) and secured permission for us to visit on either March 30 or March 31...again, the exact days we were hoping to be able to make that trip. We expect to go on March 30 in the morning during the 10-12 window in case we want to go back later that day or the next.
We are so excited about both prospects. The medical appointments are a necessary step toward bringing her home. The orphanage visit is a fantastic opportunity for us to gather some historical information with which to provide her as much of a background as we possibly can.
There are also obvious parallels from the title statement to God. I have been thinking about man's wisdom versus God's wisdom. I have been thinking about what I think I know versus the God I know. To know and be known...what an amazing thought.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
We need meds!!!!
(Greg here)
Well, I guess technically we don't need meds but we do need medical appointments. Unlike our trip to China, we are responsible for making her medical appointments while in India. We need to make two appointments two days apart. The problem is, we can't seem to make it happen. We have called them by phone, told them what was needed, were completely not understood, and assured we would get a call back to schedule the appointment. We still have not gotten a call. We have found an email address and tried to schedule that way. All we got back was two automated responses. We are hoping that we will learn something very very soon, perhaps even with phone call while we sleep tonight.
We also had a very difficult time making our in-country flight reservations. The website we were given would not accept our credit card. It also would not accept my in-laws card. Finally, my father-in-law called the credit card company and had a person sitting watching while he tried to complete the transaction. At a particular point in the transaction, the agent had to do something special to give a higher clearance to allow the charge to go through. Cool and creepy all at the same time. Anyway, those flights have been arranged as well.
Now if we could just get those meds!
Well, I guess technically we don't need meds but we do need medical appointments. Unlike our trip to China, we are responsible for making her medical appointments while in India. We need to make two appointments two days apart. The problem is, we can't seem to make it happen. We have called them by phone, told them what was needed, were completely not understood, and assured we would get a call back to schedule the appointment. We still have not gotten a call. We have found an email address and tried to schedule that way. All we got back was two automated responses. We are hoping that we will learn something very very soon, perhaps even with phone call while we sleep tonight.
We also had a very difficult time making our in-country flight reservations. The website we were given would not accept our credit card. It also would not accept my in-laws card. Finally, my father-in-law called the credit card company and had a person sitting watching while he tried to complete the transaction. At a particular point in the transaction, the agent had to do something special to give a higher clearance to allow the charge to go through. Cool and creepy all at the same time. Anyway, those flights have been arranged as well.
Now if we could just get those meds!
You're hiding from me. I'm Sikhing for you.
(Greg here)
Does anyone remember the Abominable Snowman from the Looney Tunes? He was the big hairy, but awfully friendly, monster from the north who always chased after Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck trying to make them his own and call them "George". Anyway, he would say things like, "You're hiding from me. I'm seeking for you."
I just learned that we do not, in fact, know that our new neighbors are Sikhs. One source says "yes" while another is not quite sure. Since we have not actually found that out to be true, I need to retract part of my last post. I will sikh out the proper information and post it here once I learn of it.
Does anyone remember the Abominable Snowman from the Looney Tunes? He was the big hairy, but awfully friendly, monster from the north who always chased after Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck trying to make them his own and call them "George". Anyway, he would say things like, "You're hiding from me. I'm seeking for you."
I just learned that we do not, in fact, know that our new neighbors are Sikhs. One source says "yes" while another is not quite sure. Since we have not actually found that out to be true, I need to retract part of my last post. I will sikh out the proper information and post it here once I learn of it.
Sikh, and ye shall find!
(Greg here)
I hope it is not blasphemous to use scripture to create a pun, but I couldn't resist! I do so love puns. Ok, so "Sikh" is the shorter version of "Sikhism" a religion centered largely in Punjab, India. It is relevant to our adoption story through a very long, convoluted string of events affecting a family in our neighborhood. The short story is the neighbors had to quickly move to Kansas last summer after the husband lost his job. Their house has been empty and sitting on the market since then. We leave for India this coming Sunday and our neighbors home just sold to DRUM ROLL PLEASE a family from India, practicing the Sikh religion, and sporting a 4 1/2 year old girl! For those keeping score, we are also bringing home a girl from India who is 4 1/2 years old. How cool is that?!! The other excellent opportunity is that when we moved into our current house, we prayed that we would be able to use our home as an outreach tool for other families in the neighborhood, particularly to the children. Now the Lord has arranged to have the mission field come to us after we return from it. NICE!!
I hope it is not blasphemous to use scripture to create a pun, but I couldn't resist! I do so love puns. Ok, so "Sikh" is the shorter version of "Sikhism" a religion centered largely in Punjab, India. It is relevant to our adoption story through a very long, convoluted string of events affecting a family in our neighborhood. The short story is the neighbors had to quickly move to Kansas last summer after the husband lost his job. Their house has been empty and sitting on the market since then. We leave for India this coming Sunday and our neighbors home just sold to DRUM ROLL PLEASE a family from India, practicing the Sikh religion, and sporting a 4 1/2 year old girl! For those keeping score, we are also bringing home a girl from India who is 4 1/2 years old. How cool is that?!! The other excellent opportunity is that when we moved into our current house, we prayed that we would be able to use our home as an outreach tool for other families in the neighborhood, particularly to the children. Now the Lord has arranged to have the mission field come to us after we return from it. NICE!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Passport Arrived!!
(Greg here)
The "hurry-up and wait" has now moved solidly into "hurry up"! We got word today that after much waiting, our beautiful daughter's passport has finally arrived. We have been given permission to begin making the tentative travel plans. We should be able to finalize plans in the next 24-48 hours. We have airline tickets on hold to leave March 27 and return on April 8. We will be able to finalize once our adoption agency gets a bit more clarity on some information and can get some appointments scheduled within India.
If the plans just listed hold to form, then we will arrive in India at 12:15am Sunday night/Monday morning. We will then do some history reconnaissance over the next few days. Some places we hope to find, visit, film, and interview are at the hospital grounds where she was found, the orphanage where she spent the first two and a half years of her life, and the general area in which she grew up. We know almost to the spot where she was found. We will likely try to gather some soil, rock, or some other physical component of where she was abandoned. We do not know if we will be able to visit her orphanage but sure hope to. That would sure be a great part to add to prayer. From there, we would meet her on Friday. We would spent the day with her at VCT, and then she would return with us to the hotel that night. From then on, she will be with us constantly. What a change for her. What a change for us. I am so afraid that she will be so afraid. She can't love us right now. I know that and do not expect that. I do hope very much that she feels at ease enough with us that she is able to cope with that time fairly well. Hopefully it will feel more like a grand adventure during those first minutes and days rather than a terrifying abduction.
Anyway, after that meeting on Friday, she will then join us on a cross-country flight (can you fly "cross-country" if you are going from north to south rather than across the country? I don't know. It is good to ponder. Maybe I will think about that as I lie awake tonight. That is going to be happening mostly because of the info we have received but also because of the Serious Chocolate Ice Cream from UDF. Man o man, I am going to miss UDF ice cream while there. That will be one of the first things I get upon return. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.......) on Sunday afternoon to New Delhi. Once in New Delhi, her exit-medical examination will be on Monday. On Tuesday we plan to visit the Taj Mahal. On Wednesday, we return to the medical center to receive her TB certificate. Later that same day, we will our exit interview at the US Consulate. On Thursday, we will return to the consulate to pick up her passport with her visa attached. The kids also hope to visit a zoo and so this might be zoo-day as well. We return home on Friday.
Prior to the arrival of our other three children, I had an incredible sense of how much our lives were about to change. That has definitely begun to settle in once again. I know bringing her into our home is what is best for both her and us, but good golly, it is awfully.....well, I don't really know but it is awfully something (insert a variety of strong emotions here).
The "hurry-up and wait" has now moved solidly into "hurry up"! We got word today that after much waiting, our beautiful daughter's passport has finally arrived. We have been given permission to begin making the tentative travel plans. We should be able to finalize plans in the next 24-48 hours. We have airline tickets on hold to leave March 27 and return on April 8. We will be able to finalize once our adoption agency gets a bit more clarity on some information and can get some appointments scheduled within India.
If the plans just listed hold to form, then we will arrive in India at 12:15am Sunday night/Monday morning. We will then do some history reconnaissance over the next few days. Some places we hope to find, visit, film, and interview are at the hospital grounds where she was found, the orphanage where she spent the first two and a half years of her life, and the general area in which she grew up. We know almost to the spot where she was found. We will likely try to gather some soil, rock, or some other physical component of where she was abandoned. We do not know if we will be able to visit her orphanage but sure hope to. That would sure be a great part to add to prayer. From there, we would meet her on Friday. We would spent the day with her at VCT, and then she would return with us to the hotel that night. From then on, she will be with us constantly. What a change for her. What a change for us. I am so afraid that she will be so afraid. She can't love us right now. I know that and do not expect that. I do hope very much that she feels at ease enough with us that she is able to cope with that time fairly well. Hopefully it will feel more like a grand adventure during those first minutes and days rather than a terrifying abduction.
Anyway, after that meeting on Friday, she will then join us on a cross-country flight (can you fly "cross-country" if you are going from north to south rather than across the country? I don't know. It is good to ponder. Maybe I will think about that as I lie awake tonight. That is going to be happening mostly because of the info we have received but also because of the Serious Chocolate Ice Cream from UDF. Man o man, I am going to miss UDF ice cream while there. That will be one of the first things I get upon return. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.......) on Sunday afternoon to New Delhi. Once in New Delhi, her exit-medical examination will be on Monday. On Tuesday we plan to visit the Taj Mahal. On Wednesday, we return to the medical center to receive her TB certificate. Later that same day, we will our exit interview at the US Consulate. On Thursday, we will return to the consulate to pick up her passport with her visa attached. The kids also hope to visit a zoo and so this might be zoo-day as well. We return home on Friday.
Prior to the arrival of our other three children, I had an incredible sense of how much our lives were about to change. That has definitely begun to settle in once again. I know bringing her into our home is what is best for both her and us, but good golly, it is awfully.....well, I don't really know but it is awfully something (insert a variety of strong emotions here).
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Passport Approved!
(Greg here)
We learned yesterday that Sneha's passport was approved. For whatever reason, VCT is not permitted to go pick it up in person but must wait for it to be mailed. Apparently this passport office is notorious for letting things sit around before mailing them and the passport is not expected to arrive for about 10 days. We are unsure if that is business days or straight days. We are not yet able to make any concrete plans until that passport is in hand. Again, we are not sure exactly why, but it seems to have something to do with verifying the name they put on the passport to ensure that other documentation exactly matches. I can understand that. Our best guess for travel dates is somewhere around the second or third week of March.
It is strange. Now that we are this close, I suddenly feel completely unprepared. The parenting part seems doable, but for some reason the getting prepared for the actual trip seems awfully challenging. We have had suitcases out for awhile, slowly filling them with things that we want to take. There is just so much to prepare. There is a certain quality to myself that when things reach a certain level, I get to feeling pretty jittery inside and bogged down by thoughts that the things won't be accomplished. Then, stupidly, I have a tendency to spin in space rather than forging ahead and knocking things out one at a time. True, soon enough I get to the knocking things out. I generally am a pretty organized guy. But, I despise the time I spend spinning in my head. I can feel that spinning beginning to slowly whirl.
We are hoping that our travel dates easily allow for us to arrive several days ahead of schedule so we can see as much of her area as possible to gather as much of a "history" for her as possible. What we don't want is to have to make a decision between delaying our getting her for a few days to amass the history, or skipping the history to get her absolutely as soon as possible. At quick pass, different readers may come to a quick decision on what they would do. It does take some thought though and careful consideration yields that the decision is not as easy as would first seem whichever side of the fence you sit on. So, we hope the decision is made for us such that we can naturally arrive earlier without us having to make a possible decision to delay getting her for a few days. To take her with us on a history gathering tour is not something we want to do as the potential to arouse unwanted feelings is pretty high.
I tell you...to international business travelers, our fretting must seem a bit ridiculous. But to a guy who has only been west of the Mississippi twice in his lifetime, packing up a family to go to India for two weeks is a bit daunting.
We learned yesterday that Sneha's passport was approved. For whatever reason, VCT is not permitted to go pick it up in person but must wait for it to be mailed. Apparently this passport office is notorious for letting things sit around before mailing them and the passport is not expected to arrive for about 10 days. We are unsure if that is business days or straight days. We are not yet able to make any concrete plans until that passport is in hand. Again, we are not sure exactly why, but it seems to have something to do with verifying the name they put on the passport to ensure that other documentation exactly matches. I can understand that. Our best guess for travel dates is somewhere around the second or third week of March.
It is strange. Now that we are this close, I suddenly feel completely unprepared. The parenting part seems doable, but for some reason the getting prepared for the actual trip seems awfully challenging. We have had suitcases out for awhile, slowly filling them with things that we want to take. There is just so much to prepare. There is a certain quality to myself that when things reach a certain level, I get to feeling pretty jittery inside and bogged down by thoughts that the things won't be accomplished. Then, stupidly, I have a tendency to spin in space rather than forging ahead and knocking things out one at a time. True, soon enough I get to the knocking things out. I generally am a pretty organized guy. But, I despise the time I spend spinning in my head. I can feel that spinning beginning to slowly whirl.
We are hoping that our travel dates easily allow for us to arrive several days ahead of schedule so we can see as much of her area as possible to gather as much of a "history" for her as possible. What we don't want is to have to make a decision between delaying our getting her for a few days to amass the history, or skipping the history to get her absolutely as soon as possible. At quick pass, different readers may come to a quick decision on what they would do. It does take some thought though and careful consideration yields that the decision is not as easy as would first seem whichever side of the fence you sit on. So, we hope the decision is made for us such that we can naturally arrive earlier without us having to make a possible decision to delay getting her for a few days. To take her with us on a history gathering tour is not something we want to do as the potential to arouse unwanted feelings is pretty high.
I tell you...to international business travelers, our fretting must seem a bit ridiculous. But to a guy who has only been west of the Mississippi twice in his lifetime, packing up a family to go to India for two weeks is a bit daunting.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Numbers
Random thoughts I have been having:
I have been praying for this child for 26% of her life. I have known about her for 415 days and have thought of her and lifted her up each and every one of those days.
This 415 days is less than 3% of my lifetime. Wow. If this process seems to be taking forever for me, what must it seem like for her? I pray that someday she will understand the ache in our hearts at the long wait.
We should be receiving our renewed I800a this week. Maybe it is even in today's mail. Her passport is still being processed and will hopefully come sooner than later. I trust in God's timing, but it doesn't mean that I like it. I know that He sees the tapestry of my life and of her life from above and sees the picture that is being woven. I am underneath staring at the threads, not understanding the image that is forming. I trust Him. I give Him my impatience.
It is hard for me to see people who started their adoption process after we did receiving their children before we do. The inner child in me is jumping up and down and shouting, "No fair! I was here first!" I do not begrudge anyone their success. My heart rejoices when any child is received by their forever family. Yet the inner child inside is still verging on a tantrum. I trust. His timing is the right timing.
We are working on being ready to receive her. We have a bed for her next to ours. We have her clothes washed and ready. We have a soft, fuzzy blankie ready. We have a toothbrush, and a coat, and a booster seat. Her car seat is ready to go into the van. We have a Bitty Baby waiting for her in the living room. We have suitcases in the family room collecting things to take. We are ready. Now we just need for the bureaucrats to finish their jobs and say, "Come."
Now a treat: photos of her :)
I have been praying for this child for 26% of her life. I have known about her for 415 days and have thought of her and lifted her up each and every one of those days.
This 415 days is less than 3% of my lifetime. Wow. If this process seems to be taking forever for me, what must it seem like for her? I pray that someday she will understand the ache in our hearts at the long wait.
We should be receiving our renewed I800a this week. Maybe it is even in today's mail. Her passport is still being processed and will hopefully come sooner than later. I trust in God's timing, but it doesn't mean that I like it. I know that He sees the tapestry of my life and of her life from above and sees the picture that is being woven. I am underneath staring at the threads, not understanding the image that is forming. I trust Him. I give Him my impatience.
It is hard for me to see people who started their adoption process after we did receiving their children before we do. The inner child in me is jumping up and down and shouting, "No fair! I was here first!" I do not begrudge anyone their success. My heart rejoices when any child is received by their forever family. Yet the inner child inside is still verging on a tantrum. I trust. His timing is the right timing.
We are working on being ready to receive her. We have a bed for her next to ours. We have her clothes washed and ready. We have a soft, fuzzy blankie ready. We have a toothbrush, and a coat, and a booster seat. Her car seat is ready to go into the van. We have a Bitty Baby waiting for her in the living room. We have suitcases in the family room collecting things to take. We are ready. Now we just need for the bureaucrats to finish their jobs and say, "Come."
Now a treat: photos of her :)
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
What I have learned in the last 10 minutes
When growing up, my brother had a few favorite things he used to say to me. I never appreciated them much, but a few of those things have some relevance now. There were times when I would say something like, "I didn't think that it would turn out that way", or something else like "I thought it wouldn't matter". Except I often didn't get the whole thing out. Pretty often I would start with, "I didn't think..." and he would sternly interrupt with "THAT'S RIGHT. YOU DIDN'T THINK." Or I would start to say, "I thought..." and he would angrily interrupt with "YOU THOUGHT, AND YOU THOUGHT WRONG." I was reminded of this in the past few minutes while praying. I made several statements to God like, "I just don't see how this helps anything." or "I just don't see how this helps her out." or "I just don't see what the point of delaying this even further is." Unlike my brother's stern interruptions, God gently interrupted me with "You're right Greg. You just don't see." He then proceeded to remind me of a few things.
Without going into details, the past two weeks have been unlike any two weeks since Elijah arrived home. It has been positively amazing. Not a day has gone by in the past two weeks that Maren and I haven't thought about the unbelievable difference in our son. I said today that it was like we had a new son. She wondered out loud if we have ever experienced him like this. I was also reminded that she and I are learning some new things about parenting an adopted child and are actively improving our skills. Neither of those things would have happened if we had been able to travel sooner. My mother-in-law wondered several weeks ago if part of the delay wasn't related to Elijah in some way and helping him get to where he needed to be. It seems that this could be spot-on.
I was also made aware in the past ten minutes that our desire to bring Sneha home sooner has some elements of selfishness interwoven into the genuine desire to start her in her family as soon as possible. These are going to be hard to tease out, but I want it to happen.
I was also reminded in the past ten minutes that even though I may not want to grow sometimes, it is for my benefit that it happens. For the 10,000th time, I am trying to allow myself to be transformed. To paraphrase a seeker of God, "Lord, I want to grow. Help my desire to stagnate."
Without going into details, the past two weeks have been unlike any two weeks since Elijah arrived home. It has been positively amazing. Not a day has gone by in the past two weeks that Maren and I haven't thought about the unbelievable difference in our son. I said today that it was like we had a new son. She wondered out loud if we have ever experienced him like this. I was also reminded that she and I are learning some new things about parenting an adopted child and are actively improving our skills. Neither of those things would have happened if we had been able to travel sooner. My mother-in-law wondered several weeks ago if part of the delay wasn't related to Elijah in some way and helping him get to where he needed to be. It seems that this could be spot-on.
I was also made aware in the past ten minutes that our desire to bring Sneha home sooner has some elements of selfishness interwoven into the genuine desire to start her in her family as soon as possible. These are going to be hard to tease out, but I want it to happen.
I was also reminded in the past ten minutes that even though I may not want to grow sometimes, it is for my benefit that it happens. For the 10,000th time, I am trying to allow myself to be transformed. To paraphrase a seeker of God, "Lord, I want to grow. Help my desire to stagnate."
Disappointing news
We learned a little bit ago that the past six weeks have essentially been for nothing. We thought we were waiting for the passport to be issued based on information shared with us near Christmas. We just learned that yesterday they were able to file for her passport. We have asked to have some clarification since we were told this happened the day after we received written guardianship. We were just told the passport should come in 2-6 weeks, but again, that was what we were told in December. On top of this frustration, our updated fingerprints have not yet come back either which usually would have happened by now. Each day that goes by there suggests that there will be a longer delay in the future as they may request additional paperwork to be completed.
We are trying to stay aware that we see one very tiny slice of this whole thing and that our Lord sees the whole picture. It is a challenging and growth-inducing perspective. I must admit that I don't always feel like growing.
We are trying to stay aware that we see one very tiny slice of this whole thing and that our Lord sees the whole picture. It is a challenging and growth-inducing perspective. I must admit that I don't always feel like growing.
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