Tomorrow, we receive our son. We have waited, planned and prayed for this child for literally a decade or more. My stomach just flutters at the thought. My heart also breaks for Elijah ZuBin. Such a hard time is getting ready to happen in his life.
Picture this: take one of you children at 21 months, almost 2 years old. Now take them to another family who is going to leave the country with him/her forever. How long would your child mourn your family? Elijah is in an orphanage, but that is all the family he knows. The caretakers (called nannnies) tend to be pretty consistent here. He will be leaving all he has ever known behind. We have been working towards this for a decade, but he is clueless. Even if they explain it, he isn't even two years old yet. The explanation will be meaningless. Our prayer has always been that he would be bonded with his nanny. It will make the transition harder in the beginning, but will be better in the long run. Studies have shown that if a child has bonded once, they are much more likely to be able to bond again. Children who never bond in the early years may lose the capacity to bond.
It has been interesting to see the children here and hear their stories. One child, 16 months old, has rejected his new mother so far and will only let his father hold him. This is not uncommon with newly adopted children from orphanages, but it is so hard to watch. She looks so tired and frustrated. She is handling it, but it cannot be easy. The father left the room to go work on some paperwork, and the child cried for 2 hours. She only gets to hold the son she has longed and prayed for when he is sleeping. My heart hurts for her.
One child is 5 turning 6. He is Hep B positive and wasn't abandoned until he was 2. His birth parents got on a train with him, went to the largest city in the province and dropped him off alone. I can only imagine the terror and trauma that child experienced. He has had a male caregiver in the orphanage who was kind enough to explain the transition that was coming: you are going to be adopted, move to America, and be called Bill. Now this is not the name his parents have chosen for him, so that complicated matters as they had to try to convince him his American name is Zach, not Bill. The caregiver did not want to give Zach up. He refused to leave the room when he saw Zach was having a hard time with the transition and the orphanage director had to order him to leave the room. Zach is doing phenomenally well. His parents are believers and have been praying for him for a long time. It will be interesting to see how he heals from the huge traumas he has experienced already in his life.
It is so hard to think about the huge upheavals we are doing in the lives of these children. I keep coming back to this though, God has called us to come and get these children. Elijah ZuBin was created to be raised in our family. God has a purpose for him to be in the USA. Even though there will be great stress and problems as we make this change, it is ultimately for the best. Throughout the Bible, God used adoption to change the lives of people. Moses was adopted by the Pharaoh's daughter and God used that to free His people. Esther was adopted (or at least raised by) her uncle Mordecai and God used that to save His people. We are only saved if we are adopted into the family of God and become His children. Throughout the New Testament, God uses adoption as an illustration of our relationship with Him. This is a practice that was known during that time and was well thought of, or God wouldn't have used it to explain how we are grafted into His family. Adoption is a good thing. I also know that if these children were left here in the orphanages, they would have no future. They would be poorly educated, poorly thought of, have little chance to marry, and would have menial jobs with few benefits if left here. Where Elijah is going, he will be loved, educated, given opportunities, and above all, he will be invited to know Jesus Christ as His Lord and Savior with the opportunity to be adopted once and for all into his eternal family.
Knowing all this. My heart, that of a mother, still aches to hold him, to love him, to cry with him as he mourns the loss of all that he has ever known. We continue to pray that Father God would continue to Father my fatherless child until he has knit his heart with ours.
No comments:
Post a Comment