Random Thoughts

These are Greg's random thoughts. I wouldn't saddle my wife with them!!

1. Maybe when those blasted geese from Canada are WALKING ACROSS THE STINKING ROAD INSTEAD OF USING THEIR STINKING WINGS TO FLY (to be read with anger and exasperation), maybe they are just taxi'ing to their portion of the runway. I mean, I was in a plane that spent a significant amount of time just driving around the tarmac. Maybe some geese are flying overhead wondering why our planes just don't use their wings to fly.

2. Sleep deprivation probably really does make an excellent torture device.

3. Seeing a front page listing in an international newspaper announcing some christian group is saying the world will end on May 21 at 6pm (Pacific time because of course that is where this group is located [sneer]) and having my airplane Indian seatmates read it and begin laughing made me feel silly sharing the same title of "christian" with the other whack-a-doos who apparently have not paid much attention to scripture.

4. How long could a person live in an airport an not get caught?

5. Lateral motion during take-off is unsettling.

6. Why can a family be nicer to each other after no sleep in 24 hours while being confined to 18 inches of space in a flying tin can be nicer to each other than the same family who has gotten a great night of sleep in nice beds in a nice house eating food that was not mass produced?

7. Who thinks showing the movie "Burlesque" on the main airplane screen that cannot be avoided is a good choice for a long flight with children on board (or adults for that matter)?

8. Car horns in America are used to convey bitterness, anger, and rage...oh, and the occasional courtesy warning. Car horns in India actually seem to have their own version of Morse code to them. One short beep to warn the pedestrian that they will lose if they step out right now. Two short beeps to let some driver of a ricksaw or motorcycle know they are about to be passed and will lose if they move to the left or to the right. Four to five short beeps alerting a bus that you are about to pass in a super narrow corridor that no motorcycle much less the minivan I am riding in has no business going down. Furthermore, said bus needs to know that this is happening because we will lose if it decides it really doesn't appreciate us cleaning the sides of the bus with the sides of our minivan. One long blast of the horn to convey that you really don't in fact like that a driver just did to you what you have done to 73 other drivers in the past 2.5 kilometers (because we are in India, you know). Surprisingly, I have only heard the one long blast one time. Oh, and then there are occasional blasts of the horn that seem to have no apparent connection to anything happening other than perhaps the driver doesn't want the wiring to cool off too much by not beeping it frequently enough.

9. Being a cow in India is a good gig if you can get it.

10. I kid you not, I counted twelve, 12, one dozen vehicles in the front row of a three lane road at a stoplight. This included one bus, several cars, and motorcycles.

11. Just writing the word stoplight in #10 reminded me that on our way to the hotel from the airport, our driver ran nearly every red light and stop sign without even slowing down. He even said that no one follows those rules at night. And he was right. He even did this IN FRONT OF A COP who apparently didn't give a rip.

12. Just writing about the driver running red lights reminded me of something else our driver did that night (I told you these were random thoughts. Give me a break. My head has not stopped spinning and feeling funky for three straight days...I think it is three...who really knows at this point). Anyway, in America the lane lines are to clearly mark that the cars are to be BETWEEN the lines. In India, those lines apparently serve the same function as the rail on the Old Fashioned Cars at Kings Island (those are gone now, right? I think so.) Our driver literally spent most of his time with those lines directly in the middle of our vehicle. At least on the streets where they bothered to line them.

13. National pride is an interesting thing. We were warned by three different people not to be out in the late afternoon/early evening tonight because India was playing most-hated Pakistan in the Cricket World Cup. Win or lose, we were told things were likely to get pretty hairy and dangerous. India won. It got really loud around the city. We walked outside briefly to see what the explosions were all about, watched a firework or two, then retreated back into our room.

14. People in America who complain that baseball is too slow and boring have never watched a cricket match. Those things can literally last for days.

15. I happened to walk near a drunk guy blowing a Vuvuzela (those noisy things from the recent soccer world cup) when India scored. Drunk guys and Vuvuzelas really should part company.