Retina scans might be more appealing

Have I mentioned the fact that I REALLY don't like dealing with fingerprints? I mean, seriously. How obnoxious can these things honestly be? Apparently, I haven't yet found out the depths to which fingerprinting can freeze my shorts. So the latest is this: Two days ago, I had some time in the middle of the day and used it to go to the Clermont County Sheriff's office to get my state and federal fingerprinting done. I did have a bit of a complicated request. I needed a set to go to our homestudy agency. I needed a set to go to the agency for whom I am about to start doing homestudies. Finally, I needed a letter to be notarized, signed by two witnesses, OR sealed with the police seal on department letterhead to be given to me for our international dossier. Not exactly straightforward, I know. But explainable. So I explained it. The first two requests were no problem, but the third was impossible. I will get to that explanation in a minute, because first I have to note that I had to leave there after waiting in line and talking to the nice people so that I could go get exact cash...no checks accepted. Ok, so I am back at the sheriff's department now. I talk to my fourth person about what I needed to do. By the way, I must add that all four people were genuinely very nice and patient. Anyway, the fourth person was able to explain some of what they could not process my request for a written letter. She told me I would need to go to my local department to get the document. So, says I...If I am here getting a fingerprint check on the state and the federal level, why wouldn't those capture any crime I might commit in my home county? All she could really tell me is that there might be things in their handwritten files that are not entered into any computer system. I pointed out that the sample document I had listed the "Texas Department of Corrections" as the sample department that it came from. I noted that Texas was a state and that I was pretty sure my agency is just trying to determine that I have not committed any crimes anywhere in the state (or nation for that matter). I also pointed out that Maren was able to go to a different county (Warren County) and get the same document I was requesting even though she didn't live in that county. No dice. They were unwilling to produce such a thing. So now I get to go to my THIRD locale to get yet more fingerprints taken. Oh yeah. For all of you keeping score, I still have to go at least one more time past that to the federal building in downtown Cincinnati to get more federal fingerprinting done. Apparently there are federal fingerprints and then there are federal fingerprints. Makes sense to me. Perhaps what I really need to do is to go to one location per digit. Does anyone have a stamp pad at their house. I can get some from you too!