When Reality Gives an Optimist a Swift Kick in the Pants...OR...Confessions of a Former Pessimist

Wasn't it Rocky and Bullwinkle that gave titles like that? I can't remember.

Aggravatingly, but not surprisingly, we got another call from our social worker in Eugene, Oregon today. He had some contact with the folks in India and learned that some Clerk of Courts is unexplainedly sitting on a document that moves the judge's order from a verbal order to a written order. It is really a basic step, but it is not getting completed. Anyway, our social worker is no longer comfortable with allowing us to forgo updating our USCIS fingerprints. The extension is free but the required home study update, the three OTHER sets of fingerprints (breathe Greg...breathe...you're not breathing Greg...it's just fingerprints Greg), and the required health physicals are not free. Many emotions have existed during this adoption process. I am having a pretty pure sense of frustration through this. The additional work on our part should not be necessary. The additional cost should not be necessary. We don't gain anything from it. It doesn't advance us any further than we are today. Errrrrrgh. Satan can go pound salt for all I care. We are going to see this thing through.

So, where does the confession come in? Well, I used to be a pessimist. (Right about now my wife is probably saying "Used to be...snort". She's wrong. I am big-time different from how I used to be.) I used to be a pretty big pessimist. Nothing was going to go right in my view. If things did go right, it was only to mask the larger thing going wrong...or so I thought. I spent years of very conscious effort to turn this around. This is not to say that I don't still have times where I don't expect things to work out. Actually, earlier this week when our social worker said he was confident we would get back before February 2, I very realistically pointed out the time frames involved. Realistically (not pessimistically) the time frames were awful tight, and I was not convinced it was wise to hold off on getting a home study update.

The confession is not that I used to be a pessimist. The confession is that when I used to be a pessimist, I often secretly loved it when an optimist got proven wrong...even if I meant that I also lost out in the deal. Pretty pathetic, huh? Well, I have no feelings of winning or superiority now that my optimist friend in Oregon had to change his tune. I am not even bothered by his initial optimism. Honestly, it was fun for a day or two. But now it is time to get back to business. It has been a few months since we juggled paperwork. Maybe it will be fun. Maybe Satan can go pound salt.